The need for a name change and update

[Laura Beth]

I have been wanting to legally change my name and gender marker for close to a year now. I am now divorced and living as a female as much as possible which has it complications. Today I went to see my regular doctor for a refill of my pain killers; I was dressed as Laura as I usually do since starting my transition. I have to go by my male name there because they won't use my preferred name like I do at my gender doctor's office. The doctor's nurse comes out and basically stands next to me and asks the front desk clerks if I had checked in for my appointment using my male name. She is told that I have so turns around and calls my name, to which I get up. She has a bit of a stunned look on her face and leads me to the examining room to wait for the doctor. I get my new prescription from the doctor and leave to pick it up at the pharmacy. When I get to the pharmacy the assistant pharmacist has some fun trying to find me in the system due to me going by Laura there and the name on the prescription was in my male name. 

 

Before I have to see the doctor again which shouldn't be for about three or four months I will have to get the name change and gender marker taken care of.  I should also get it done before I see the psychiatrist this summer some time. I have started to receive mail in my preferred name which I was afraid was being sent back for some reason. As I posted else wheres my counselor has told me I am doing well at picking out appropriate outfits to wear that will help me fit in. The hormones have been a blessing in many ways, from slowing facial hair growth, allowing me to relax better mentally and changing my body physically. 

 

Laura Beth

[VickySGV]

Sounds like you are doing very well.  Back when I started things out on the name change, I could not do the gender change until after GCS.  Several months after my GCS and all the changes for me made, they changed the laws -- for the better -- so I would not have had the long drawn out  program that I had to do.  Keep your head high and you will make it, and laugh about all of the hassle.

 

[Charlize]

It sounds like you have a good plan for the future and are getting through the present difficulties with a grace that deserves praise.  I remember the humiliation of being called by my male name in crowded waiting rooms.  Those times were instrumental in getting me to make the necessary steps to change my legal status.

HRT and living as yourself are certainly major steps along your journey as is finding a style that works well and makes you feel comfortable as yourself.

Thanks for the update and happy birthday!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[tracy_j]

It all gets a bit complicated at times

 

Here it it a standing joke about not having to see someone's medical records to know their issues, just sit in the reception at the doctors surgery and listen to the receptionist! Not really funny, but it happens a lot.

 

For me it is a daily thing as I am not planning a namechange etc in the near future, but only occasionally gets too much. Its always going to be easier wth one name and one gender.

 

Tracy

[Julie J]

I'm so sorry you are being treated like this Laura Beth! The first time I was at my doctors in femme mode I checked in at the reception desk as Julie. After looking over the appointment list she asked if I still lived at... and was my phone number... and were there any changes to my health card information. I said yes, yes and no then was directed to have a seat till I was called. Great, I thought, this will all work out fine. A while later the nurse came into the crowded waiting area and asked for me using my male name. I had assumed that the receptionist would have told someone that I was presenting as Julie, since there was an alert on my chart for that purpose. So I sat there and did not respond. She looked around, briefly glancing toward me as she looked around and asked for me in a slightly louder voice. I didn't want to miss my appointment so I sighed, and stood up (the nurse was only about 10 feet away from me) and walked towards her. She looked at me the realized what had happened. We walked back to the doctors office, and she asked me if I preferred to be called by a different name. I told her yes, Julie. When the doctor came in he apologized and told me this would not happen again. It didn't. In fact 3 appointments later I presented in male mode, checked in with my male name and waited. A young resident doctor called out for Julie... sigh... I got up, far less embarrassed being called Julie while presenting as male than the other way around. Sometimes mistakes happen but I don't get my nose out of joint over it. It's a learning curve for everyone and once I get to the point where I can get my name and gender changed then these faux pas will be history. My attitude would not be so understanding if I thought people were purposely trying to shame or embarrass me. Your doctor should be compassionate and helpful and his staff don't sound very professional. I hope your issue is being addressed? 

Meantime, thank God you don't have to go there for another 3 months! Good luck and what happened to you is so damn wrong on so many levels! 

Thanks for having the courage to share your story with us. 

Hugs & Smiles 

Julie J 

[Julie J]

Laura Beth, I just realized this happened in January. Has anything been resolved in the past 7 months? I sure hope so. 

Hugs & Smiles 

Julie J 

[Laura Beth]

Julie, nothing has changed at that doctor's office but I just live with it. My dead name is close to being female by two letters so I think of it that way. I hope to have everything changed within the next year with a legal name and gender marker change. 

 

Laura Beth

[Julie J]

That will be a great relief when that day comes Laura Beth. 

Hugs & Smiles 

Julie J