What is the importance of telling HR first?

[Lauryn Michelle]

I told HR this morning about my transition. He gave me a business card, and said to get ahold of him if anything bad happens like "discrimination. He can than hook me up with the Equal Opportunity associate. The whole experince was quite "underwhelming". Will HR be the place that I go to change my name and photo on my badge? Is there something that I am missing here?

[Carolyn Marie]

Lauryn, i don't blame you for being underwhelmed.  I would be too if I got that response.  I don't know how big your company is, but the HR manager doesn't seem to have a clue what to do..

 

I would go back to him and ask him to provide any materials he has on company policies that might assist you.  Is there a "non-discrimination policy" and written procedures for filing a complaint?  Are there guidelines on name changes?  Do you have an IT department that can help with changing e-mail addresses and such?  What do they need to change your name and gender in the payroll department?

 

Ask him also for advice on how to announce the change when you are ready to do so.  I emphasized that last bit because its important that any announcements need to happen on your timetable, not theirs.

 

Lastly, ask HR if they can assist you in providing training to your managers and/or staff.  If you work in a city, there ought to be an LGBT center that can provide training.  There are also training videos they can purchase if they, or you, don't want an in-person trainer.

 

It's a lot to consider, but the success of your workplace transition may depend on the level of support your company gives you, and how much of that is mandated or depends on the whims and prejudices of your managers.  Please let me know if you have other questions.  I wish you luck, hon.

 

Carolyn Marie

[Lauryn Michelle]

Thank you very much Carolyn Marie ?

I am going to correspond with the main HR person, and see if anything comes up with that. I totally agree with my timetable, and there are a lot of considerations. I still need to decide how I want to move forward at work. Waffling on a slow subtle change, or a sudden big change in my appearance. I can see the pluses and minuses of both. I am endeared to the sudden change. I have let my assistant manager know, and  i think cut and dry" is less confusing, hence less work for me. I come in on hormones, prezenting as a woman, and my name and badge ID are female, along with my electronic signin and email. I let management know, "I am Lauryn, she, her". Management can know ahead of time. If i slowly change, its just more tedious, I feel. some close friends know, and assistant manager knows. We shall see, what I can say is that I am becoming more comfortable and ecstatic about my life. 

[MarcieMarie12]

Hi Lauryn, when I transitioned in appearance at work I did it abruptly. I did it before a holiday (memorial day). It gave people a few days to process it on their own and by the end of the week things settled down. Not one of my clients really cared about it either, and i kept it short, brief and with a bit of humor saying PS: Note that my name has changed from <deadname> to Marcie XXXXX (amongst other changes in my life). I left it at that. Some of them even complimented on my bravery and such (it is kind of an unintended insult in some ways) but I thanked them for the comment anyway. 

 

 

[Charlize]

I agree with Marcie and your inclination to come out all at once.  The piecemeal approach is difficult and questions become difficult to say the least.  I remember being sick and tired of answering all the questions and dealing with reactions even though i went full time in one day.  I'd advise doing your homework with HR and then when you feel right going for it.

Regardless best of luck.  We often find fewer bad reactions than feared and the freedom of being honest feels wonderful.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Lauryn Michelle]

Thank you Marcie Marie, and Charlize❤

I agree with it not being asbad as I fear. I need less bandaids to rip off as well. It has been very emotional with each "coming out". I am almost at if the point of "fuckit", and just posting it in my facebook account(then again that can be the most insensitive place in the world). I know that asking questions from women who have been through tgis, talking about it, thinking about it , researching it, will all help me in my sense of securirty and ability to do this how ai want to do this to some good degree. 

Again, thank you Ladies?❤

Lauryn Michelle