Talking in a feminine voice

[MelissaAndProudOfIt]

On 2/23/2018 at 12:17 AM, jae bear said:

I've been playing around with this and that talking to the dog or messing around with my kids (plausible excuse to do so) but I still sound precisely like a man making a silly voice.

Bummer-

 

oh well...

Hugs,

Jae

 

Hi Jae Bear

 

Attaining a femme voice really aint so hard.  Number one obviously you have a somewhat low masculine voice...  Work with you voice, not so much change voice range as for best part...it wont work as a quick fix...if you work with the voice you have...work on smoothing your voice out, discover low and high of your non strainwd and natural voice range.  Practice breathing exercise...  Try working on the resonance of your voice. Put your hand on your tummy...and feel vibration as you speak, as your voice is low chances are there wil be loads of vibration as you voice generates resonance on your abdomen.    In order to change your voice within a natural range try working on breathing exercises and try speaking from more sort of from the throat..this takes away some of the low tone of your voice..when you speak keep your hand resting on your tummy..if there is barely any vibration, your on track to success, if there is vibration keep on practicing...try sort of feeling your voice starting from you throat and voice box, not from the tummy ok.   Next stage by making your mouth a bit smaller when you talk (sorry, not inferring you have a big mouth lol) but by simply reducing the opening at your mouth distinctly contributes to reduction in resonance too ok.  Try this method, practice, practice and practice ok. 

 

Kind regards

 

Melissa

[jae bear]

 Hey Melissa, 

 Those are some fantastic pieces of advice, you are absolutely correct that tone has so much more to do with a correct sounding female voice than pitch does...  I think the interesting thing here is that you found a post that I created one year ago, I read that and had to chuckle to myself, I remember thinking that I was never going to figure out what to do and now I can look back on that and laugh about it.  The funny thing is that my pitch range even as a male wasn’t that bad, I have always had a fairly high pitch for the male range and struggled to project well from my chest.  I went to a vocal coach only a few months after that post in February 22, 2018, and that the coach did two things, he told me to modify my tone and to consistently perform breathing exercises just as you had mentioned.  Luckily my cadence and prosody were extremely female, and always have been, I can remember being asked if I was gay so many times throughout my life it became a major annoyance...  I did work on pitch to some degree but lately I’ve just become lazy about pitch and settled into my natural low female range voice having moved my tone strictly to cranial resonance and eliminating any chest resonance. Sometimes I do my best to bring my pitch up a bit and stay there, sometimes I do it on my own without effort especially on the phone and I don’t quite know why, but I seem to be a champ on the phone, just not in person when I am comfortable with the person I am speaking with. I am consistently ma’amed wherever I go and only once in a very short while get sir’ed at the drive-through for fast food or on the phone.  It took me a while to learn what to do with Resonance, it was a bit of a mystery to me at first until the vocal coach really went over the details and I realized how close I already was and that I had extremely good control over my tone when I wanted to...  once it had become a habit then became extremely difficult to find a way to project my voice when needed, now people struggle to hear me when there’s noise in the shop at work but I feel like I’m speaking loudly, however everyone has to come close to me to hear what I am saying. I suppose that’s a small price to pay for having a female voice. Thank you for the constructive advice on speech patterns and tone, you were right on the mark and it is very good advice!

 Hugs, 

 Jackie

[MelissaAndProudOfIt]

Hi Jackie

I am really happy for you in where you're at...  Realising and making adjustments is simply what its all about.  You're obviously happy with how much you have achieved.. Maybe, another handy hint...always be on top with what i said each time you speak, the biggest mistake made by many is complacency ok...  Another thing is always ensure you well hydrated, drink plenty (not referring to alchy ok lol)  as like muscles in your body, you voicebox too is a complex set of muscles...vocal warm ups practicing is important.  Songing karaoke especially female songs very fun and healthy way to increase you vocal range too.  Breathing very important.  Hope this further helps...

 

Warm Regards

 

Melissa

[Tessa]

Hi,

 

It’s Tessa here. Lots of changes going on with me. I have opened up to my work and changed my name. My company was more than happy to do this for me! I work on the phones though and they told me it’s ok to say my name is Tessa but of course I don’t have my female voice yet. Every time they call me s make it hurts inside. Some customers did take me as female. But I can tell others can see I’m faking it and I can here them a little laughing but they don’t say anything. Should I stop calling myself Tessa on the phone until I can achieve my female voice to avoid confusion and hurt when they call me a male? What would you suggest? This journey is so hard. Tonight I did my nails clear for the first time and wore makeup a day ago. These are all steps toward a life that fits the outside to the inside. My family may never understand but I have to live with myself for many more years and that’s a journey only I can take. I’m just discovering things! I don’t know if I could do s full transition but a name change and wearing clothes so far under other clothes but also picking out more bright colors of men’s clothes helps. I bought some pink jeans and I love them. They were men’s jeans. I also bought some woman’s clothes but I have not warn any yet to work but I was told it was ok and they would support me. I want to be respectful to the customers though. So even though I find it hard I should probably wait till I can have a female voice and just stick to my regular name. What do you think? I have been practicing. 

 

Tessa?‍?

[Kirsten]

Hey Tessa. That’s really cool that you’re using your name at work now. Every step is a step closer to your true self. And try not thinking of it as “faking” it.  You are being yourself. And there’s nothing fake about that. It does stink to be misgendered. I get it regularly. But it’s a part of this process. When it’s done accidentally I try not to let it bother me. People don’t really know my situation and society has set certain structures that people blindly follow. Like gender. So you have to give people a pass most of the time I think. Unless it’s done purposely to hurt you. That’s a different story. 

 

Ultimately it is your call. Whatever name you use there is going to be misgendering. As Tessa you at least get some proper gendering. For me that would be a good thing. But it can make the misgenders a bit more annoying. But no matter what you choose this is your life. Do what makes you proud of yourself and own it! That’s your right.