Circle Of Influence And Circle Of Concern.

[Guest Jeannine Bean]

I noticed something lately. Voice training is fun. I've been drinking up every second of it, lovin' it for the last couple of months. I've made so many connections between voice training and all the Qi Kung and breathing work I've done for the last few years. I've improved my singing in the midst of it. I feel like I have learned an immense amount.

All for free. Everything I need to know is online. I haven't spent a dime on it. And it feels like a wide open world of learning and exploring.

Other aspects of Transition can be fun, too. For instance, making shifts in my wardrobe. It's cool because where I live there's stuff I can buy that isn't too much money... some of it looks really good too. And I can afford to get some custom bits here and there.

Then there's the stuff that's purely not fun. I can get really frustrated about doctors, surgeries... the bigger aspects of transition. Even hair removal requires so much scrimping and saving and opportunity cost, not going out with my friends for a drink, not eating a nicer meal, not going on that trip.. for such long periods of time.

I started to think yesterday its the aspect of not having many options or being in control. Steven Covey calls it the "Circle of Influence". . . and so many bits that seem essentially necessary are outside my circle of influence. So I consider options like Teaching English in Dubai or The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia for a couple of years, so I can just pay for everything I want really soon. Currently though there's no sense of exploration, wonder, fun, or having options...

I know this is what everyone goes through.

My question is this: How many things, what aspects of transitioning are cheap to free? What other things have you found that you can put a lot of care and energy into without being independently wealthy?

--Jeannine

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Well Jeannine,

Attitude costs nothing. Attitude is everything! Without attitude, you can spend millions and not be there!! Attititude gives you the walk, the talk, the grace, the moves, the mannerisms. Start with your mind, everything else follows. It is great you can find clothing etc. that you like that does not break your budget! Cool. Surgery is always expensive regardless what it is for. Before you encage in surgery, make sure that you completely understand the risks as well as the rewards before you make a committment like that. That means careful, frank discussion with your GT.

Enjoy each day and be happy with each stage that you are at!!

LOL

bernii

[Sally]

Don't lose sight of your life viewing the prize - life is the journey not just the destination.

There are good things around us everyday , don't miss them in your rush to transition.

Much like businessmen who work through their children's young lives, missing the first steps, dance recitals and little league - senior plays and football, soccer, hockey, volleyball, basket ball games, awards banquets and college graduations only to slow down and discover that they missed it all - don't sleep walk through the process - go through it with eyes wide open and enjoy the now for it will never be here again my friends.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Jeannine Bean]

Yea I'm down. Focusing on my circle of influence seems like a positive way to be about the journey.. It's like a restatement of the Alcoholics Anonymous prayer... change the things we can, accept the things we cannot... etc, etc.

I'm asking what more things can I change that I might not be noticing.

I ain't the Dali Llamma and I'm not really trying to be that either. I'm just a human, with lifelong pain. I've known people who got the thing they always wanted, money, security, a house, a degree, freedom and some status. The pattern I saw is that many of them became very very happy after working so hard and getting it. Then, after a few years they often realized they could have been happy without it. But they never would have known that had they not had the opportunity to live with it for awhile... this has been true of a few of my close friends.

if you can find true happiness and contentment without living your dream than you're probably a better person than me. [:-) . . . so we do what we can, as we can do it.

--J:.