Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Got outted at work and asked for a divorce, what a day!


jae bear

Recommended Posts

  • Forum Moderator
2 hours ago, SugarMagnolia said:

I'm so impressed with you, Jae. You're a rock star! ?

.

 HA!!!! That's crazy! I guess I could join in with the pussycat dolls and rip off my version of 'when I grow up'!  I change "groupies" to "boobies"!

Link to comment

Jae, I am brand new here and you don't know me at all but I first want to say I am truly sorry that you are going through all of this.

 

OK, the divorce with your wife like you said you will get over even though it will be extremely hard as there was a reason you were married to her and now that bond is being broken. I do hope that you can still communicate and remain connected in a way that you can still at least be acquainted with each other. 

 

Now for your job. Being outed is hard enough to deal with, but from the way I read it in your original post I got the feeling that the person who outed you also made the information known throughout the whole workplace. That is not right and could be considered as work place harassment. If comments continue to be made about your transitioning and being transgender I would say something about that. It should not be happening.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Daisy,

I completely agree with you, workplace drama or harassment can not be allowed... In this situation others started gathering after I was coming clean with him, he was discreate while pushing for the truth, I was less so while explaining and normal shop traffic brings people to the shipping department regularly, I was in full explanation while not using my guy voice (rarely do now anyway) and I was not stopping for anyone... Well that, and this girl loves an audience! I would do standup but my wife would kill me...

Hugs,

Jae

Link to comment
15 minutes ago, jae bear said:

Hi Daisy,

I completely agree with you, workplace drama or harassment can not be allowed... In this situation others started gathering after I was coming clean with him, he was discreate while pushing for the truth, I was less so while explaining and normal shop traffic brings people to the shipping department regularly, I was in full explanation while not using my guy voice (rarely do now anyway) and I was not stopping for anyone... Well that, and this girl loves an audience! I would do standup but my wife would kill me...

Hugs,

Jae

I am glad you put it out there. They should accept you for who you are. You still have the ability to do the job  no matter if you have breasts & and vagina or not. I am glad you can stick up for yourself girl. Don't take any s*** from any of them. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hey Daisy,

Friday went surprisingly well, everyone was super nice, and since I was there from the company creation and run HR I doubt much will happen that I can’t handle. My only real fear is someone getting angry and calling me a dirty name, but that has only ever happened when I have to fire someone or let them go... I may not currently have a vagina, but I certainly now have the breasts, and coming out makes my life easier at work since I don’t have to layer with a flannel while it’s hot and sweat to death. However it has created a bit of a new issue as nobody looks me in the eyes anyway, but now the new issue is they’re looking straight at my chest and I feel like I need a shirt that says “eyes up here buddy “ just so I know they’re listening to me.

Hugs,

Jae

Link to comment
Just now, jae bear said:

Hey Daisy,

Friday went surprisingly well, everyone was super nice, and since I was there from the company creation and run HR I doubt much will happen that I can’t handle. My only real fear is someone getting angry and calling me a dirty name, but that has only ever happened when I have to fire someone or let them go... I may not currently have a vagina, but I certainly now have the breasts, and coming out makes my life easier at work since I don’t have to layer with a flannel while it’s hot and sweat to death. However it has created a bit of a new issue as nobody looks me in the eyes anyway, but now the new issue is they’re looking straight at my chest and I feel like I need a shirt that says “eyes up here buddy “ just so I know they’re listening to me.

Hugs,

Jae

I am so glad it went better for you Jae on Friday. I think if I saw a Co-Worker staring at my breasts instead of eye to eye I would say something smart like "You Like What You See". :) 

 

Big Hugs, Daisy Mae

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

HA!  I don’t think I have the guts to say that but it is hilarious. I did get a comment from our head machinist while we were discussing a project and some different tooling Friday afternoon, he said hey, I know I said you should hire a girl with big boobs for me to work with, but I take it back, I don’t need your help that much, and I don’t know how I feel about the way you look anymore. I know I couldn’t stop smiling and I laughed a little, he thought it was funny and he smiled and he laughed a little too, even though it was weird and awkward it was really quite nice of him to say something that I know it’s difficult for him to squeak out.  Things turned the corner at home too and I’m really happy about it, my wife and I had a breakthrough and I feel like I can breathe again. She came to me with nothing but love in her heart and explained all of the things that she was worried about and what her intentions were. While it was hard to hear, everything she said was true, honest, necessary, reassuring, she loves me and she’s going to stay and support me even though it’s hard for her to do. I’ve been holding my breath for quite some time now waiting for this to happen. Not that it’s all going to be sunshine and roses going forward, but I now have the baseline knowing she loves me and is staying with me and even more than that will support me because of the former statement. I’m also quite glad that I’ll be able to give her the anniversary gifts I bought as I was really stressed out that our marriage wouldn’t make it to the end of the month. 

Hugs,

Jae

Link to comment

Jae, I agree with Julie that being open is the way to go. I have told a few of my neighbors since they have seen me out and I would rather that they know the truth rather than make assumptions about me.

I'm glad that things are going well at work. I'm sure that you are relieved to not have to hide anymore. I wish I could have done that, but I knew how everyone would react, as we had a trans woman working there some years back. I saw how she was treated and so I chose to wait until I retired to come out full time.

I too am very sorry about your problems at home. Reading your posts, I am very much aware of how much you love your wife, and I believe that she loves you as well. Maybe she thinks that you are moving too fast and needs time to adjust to the changes. Or maybe she is afraid of the future. I hope that things will work out for you.

 

Hugs,

Brandi

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

 I’m just so happy that my wife came to me this morning to tell me things that were hard for both of us to handle, it was hard for her to say, and it was hard for me to hear, but it was all truthful and came from her heart. I listened and listened, avoided the incredible urge to say something about the sentence she was uttering at any given time, but I allowed myself to take it all in and told myself that the important things I will remember when she is done talking. That really did work for both of us, rather than me defending myself over every little topic,  absorbing it all and finding honesty in her words was something I’m just not used to. We love each other deeply, and the depth of her love is beyond my understanding, which is primarily the reason I love her so much myself. I always knew that we would work this out in someway, and I know there are many bumps in the road ahead, but as others have said she’s got her seatbelt on tight, as do I, and while we may not be going full throttle we certainly  need to find a pace that makes us both comfortable. I very much look forward to the day when we can go see a therapist together and work things through, finding ways to show her love to one another that maybe at the moment we’re on aware of. She took me to the mall today as she wanted a tech device for herself and I was more than happy to go with her, but she ended up buying us matching devices  and told me that I was just going to wear it even though it was pink. I’m pretty glad I’m out at work, that new accessory would be a little hard to explain if I wasn’t. 

Hugs,

Jae

Link to comment
11 hours ago, jae bear said:

 I’m just so happy that my wife came to me this morning to tell me things that were hard for both of us to handle, it was hard for her to say, and it was hard for me to hear, but it was all truthful and came from her heart. I listened and listened, avoided the incredible urge to say something about the sentence she was uttering at any given time, but I allowed myself to take it all in and told myself that the important things I will remember when she is done talking. That really did work for both of us, rather than me defending myself over every little topic,  absorbing it all and finding honesty in her words was something I’m just not used to. We love each other deeply, and the depth of her love is beyond my understanding, which is primarily the reason I love her so much myself. I always knew that we would work this out in someway, and I know there are many bumps in the road ahead, but as others have said she’s got her seatbelt on tight, as do I, and while we may not be going full throttle we certainly  need to find a pace that makes us both comfortable. I very much look forward to the day when we can go see a therapist together and work things through, finding ways to show her love to one another that maybe at the moment we’re on aware of. She took me to the mall today as she wanted a tech device for herself and I was more than happy to go with her, but she ended up buying us matching devices  and told me that I was just going to wear it even though it was pink. I’m pretty glad I’m out at work, that new accessory would be a little hard to explain if I wasn’t. 

Hugs,

Jae

Jae, even though I have never been married and never felt that type of love what you wrote is what I have seen and heard that is exactly what a loving marriage is all about. Even when there are bumps in the roads like the one you are your wife are going through you both are being honest and communicating together and bringing things out from your hearts. it may not be the easiest thing, but it helps in the end. I commend both you and your wife. There are so many couples who go through stuff that just shut down and make things way worse. You both are not doing that and you both are supporting each other. Big hugs to the both of you.

 

~Daisy Mae

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 101 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryEllen
    • Ashley0616
    • Ivy
    • FelixThePickleMan
    • MaybeRob
    • Maddee
    • Thea
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      769.5k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,068
    • Most Online
      8,356

    autumn hill
    Newest Member
    autumn hill
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Caridad
      Caridad
    2. Certbunnie
      Certbunnie
      (25 years old)
    3. EstherElle
      EstherElle
      (43 years old)
    4. Juliet
      Juliet
      (43 years old)
    5. MelissaAndProudOfIt
      MelissaAndProudOfIt
      (59 years old)
  • Posts

    • Justine76
      Thank you for sharing! This is very much where I am currently. Questioning my motivation's, wondering where this is going and do I have the fortitude to continue the journey?   I too like to dress in what would probably be eye catching in your typically suburb. Not in a revealing way but beyond casual. Not that I’ve presented in public yet. Trying to build the confidence to dress for the next trans pride event locally ;)
    • Maddee
    • Justine76
      Certainly considering this. I’ve seen some reports, albeit anecdotal, of laser treatments causing some mild skin damage; like mild pitting, etc. Any validity to this in anyone’s experience? 
    • VickySGV
      @FelixThePickleManI and at least 3 or 4 others here on the Forums are in recovery (a couple of us over 15 years) from drugs and alcohol. Any drug, legal or not so, including abused prescription drugs (me) is potentially addictive and you need some help and uplift to break that cycle.  At first you do feel better by using your substance of choice, I know I did, but the substance takes over our lives, because for us they are cunning, baffling and POWERFUL and too much for us to control.  It was during my recovery from my alcohol and drug abuse that I first fully and with a lot of fear, but a desire to be honest came out to a group that actually turned out to be wholly supportive both of my recovery and encouraging me to get into things that would forward me toward my Transition.  Let us help you feel better about yourself without the substance since without the substance you can actually meet the challenges you face to become the best self you can be.  The goal is to like yourself every day without the false gods that chemicals can become, because they want to destroy us not help us live. We deserve to be happy and able to work and live our lives. PM me if you need some one-on-one and do the same with the others who will respond to you here.  A choral group I am part of sang a song in a concert last week that tells us that we Trans are OK and great, it is the people in the village around us that are the real grief in our lives, but here you are in  a village on-line that will support you.  
    • Vidanjali
      I can only imagine what your early life experience was like. It's very weird when children's bodies are treated as property of their parents and not really their own. Certainly children don't have agency to make major life decisions. But parents operating covertly doesn't seem to be entirely sensible. I'm sure there was a lot of fear on the part of your parents, and perhaps/probably even coercion by medical professionals. But what is your relationship like with your parents now, if they are still living or in your life? 
    • Vidanjali
      Hello & welcome, @Ladypcnj. That's great you're involved in several online communities. Reaching out to connect with others is a gift for all involved. 
    • FelixThePickleMan
      My mom found a vape of mine and this is the third time. I hid it out in the garage but she found it because I looked suspicious and now shes mad at me again which makes sense but she told me not to bring it in the house so I figured the garage was okay. But I know I should just stop but its something that I enjoy doing. I do it with my buddies and I do it alone. The one she found was a different, typically I have weed but today I had nic, but still, I know I should quit. Not because it's bad for me but because its hurting the relationship that I barley have with my mother and that's tough but for some reason I want to have my cake a and eat it too, but that isn't possible. I finally understand that phrase now, well I already understood it but now I really understand because I'm living it. and with that my mom most likely will pull me out of the school that I'm at now because that's when I started, this year. I've always had an interest in weed the way I have an interest of anything else. To me it's no different than the other things I'm interested in but this just happens to be a drug. I know I should quit I know it's wrong and I know that I'm choosing to do it, because I like it and I think in order for me to stop is to not like it anymore otherwise I most likely will continue. I know its sad but unfortunately it is true I know I'll have to quit before I go in the Marines so maybe I'll stop then. I smoke because I don't have anything else to do initially but now I smoke because I don't have anything to do and I  like it. Even when I did basketball I still was high, and I still played in fact I played better. I do everything better when I'm high I'm like a better version of myself, I can let go and let the me on the inside show on the outside with no fear, my creativity flows like Niagara falls just a contunious stream of creative output and innovative ideas that leave a good impression on others. I'm better to be around when high. I like myself better when I'm high.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      This neighbor's friend,luckily my health insurance covered it.Luckily my vehicles,house and shop are smoke free.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      @VickySGV    Good point.  There are websites full of porn and fantasies related to cross dressing, trans stories, etc., and people might easily think those are written by TG types and accurately describe TG folk.
    • VickySGV
      No one has mentioned the Adult Entertainment Industry aka the Pornography Industry which for too long was the ONLY source of information about us for the general public.  I actually realized what I was from an XX Rated publication that I snuck behind a comic book at the neighborhood convenience / liquor store.  The person in the article told of her feelings up until and through GCS which I identified with completely, but then went on to the sob story of a marriage crashing when her knowing husband went to a new job and they found out she was Trans on a security check and threatened the husband with legal action unless he divorced her ---  yada yada!!   On that note she decided her  life was ruined. --    Other problems in the Porn Press are of course the "Morality" and it is there that child endangerment stories for actual mental illness types  comes in.  Also in that media they emphasize the Fetishistic Cross Dresser classification which is an actual addiction situation and is a harmful process addiction of sex that is as terrible as Drug and Alcohol Addiction can be.  The pornographic issues and sources of information are readily available in the opening pages of a Google Search while actual Trans information is about page 200 on the engine.   A recent misadventure I had that shows how acceptable I am as my True Self is that a man who claimed to be a church elder (minister??) told me how he had never come up with legitimate information   on Trans People and actual Trans Children and he went on to brag about what he did find that was morally damning by looking for the  information.  He continued to go into detail about other pornographic sources and how nasty they were. I asked him then why HE, a MINISTER kept looking at the Porn.  He replied to me that he kept up with it to warn his congregation of the true evils he had seen so he could minister to them.  Happily for me a friend of mine came along so I could  break away from the guy who was after my soul.  (He did not read me as Trans, whew!!)
    • Ashley0616
      Just like anything else that is new it's always the thing that people fear of. People are typically afraid of change. Even something as simple as new procedure at work or the population growing. Typically just have the mindset of it's not broken then don't fix it type of attitude. The world is progressing and they need to accept that or they will eventually be left behind. A good example after WW II women working in the workforce things didn't go well at all due to a lot of butting heads. There are still even people now that think women are only meant for housework and raising babies. 
    • RaineOnYourParade
      I've actually seen a lot of people who at least tolerate the LGB and not the T. There's also some of the gay/lesbian population that, unfortunately, alienate trans people away from other parts of the community.   To me, the biggest block is probably the lack of formal exposure. If people aren't taught about LGBT they will, just like any other topic, come to misunderstandings and more. Besides, how can most LGBT people figure out that they are such if they don't know it exists? I know that, personally, I didn't realize I was a guy rather than just someone who wanted to be a guy until I was introduced to trans as a concept 
    • Ashley0616
      You're welcome. I wanted to post something new that I haven't posted yet.   
    • Ashley0616
      That's a lot of weight congratulations. I was almost about to become a K9 handler in the Air Force back in 2006 but I found out that once you get promoted to E7 you lose your dog. You can get it at E4 as long as they need them but it is usually E5. If you don't understand military jargon, I'll help you out. I didn't want to join the Marines because I actually like to be treated better. I was Security Forces and performed security, law enforcement and everything you could think of such as convoying, fire fights, search pit just to name some. It also helped that I had family that was Air Force and I went through Air Force Junior Reserves Officer Training Corps so I knew the basics of Air Force already. That's awesome that you have goals in life. I hope you get it. 
    • Davie
      Not sure what category I'd call this—don't care—I like American music. Any American. Thanks, @Ashley0616
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...