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Got outted at work and asked for a divorce, what a day!


jae bear

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2 hours ago, SugarMagnolia said:

I'm so impressed with you, Jae. You're a rock star! ?

.

 HA!!!! That's crazy! I guess I could join in with the pussycat dolls and rip off my version of 'when I grow up'!  I change "groupies" to "boobies"!

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Jae, I am brand new here and you don't know me at all but I first want to say I am truly sorry that you are going through all of this.

 

OK, the divorce with your wife like you said you will get over even though it will be extremely hard as there was a reason you were married to her and now that bond is being broken. I do hope that you can still communicate and remain connected in a way that you can still at least be acquainted with each other. 

 

Now for your job. Being outed is hard enough to deal with, but from the way I read it in your original post I got the feeling that the person who outed you also made the information known throughout the whole workplace. That is not right and could be considered as work place harassment. If comments continue to be made about your transitioning and being transgender I would say something about that. It should not be happening.

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Hi Daisy,

I completely agree with you, workplace drama or harassment can not be allowed... In this situation others started gathering after I was coming clean with him, he was discreate while pushing for the truth, I was less so while explaining and normal shop traffic brings people to the shipping department regularly, I was in full explanation while not using my guy voice (rarely do now anyway) and I was not stopping for anyone... Well that, and this girl loves an audience! I would do standup but my wife would kill me...

Hugs,

Jae

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15 minutes ago, jae bear said:

Hi Daisy,

I completely agree with you, workplace drama or harassment can not be allowed... In this situation others started gathering after I was coming clean with him, he was discreate while pushing for the truth, I was less so while explaining and normal shop traffic brings people to the shipping department regularly, I was in full explanation while not using my guy voice (rarely do now anyway) and I was not stopping for anyone... Well that, and this girl loves an audience! I would do standup but my wife would kill me...

Hugs,

Jae

I am glad you put it out there. They should accept you for who you are. You still have the ability to do the job  no matter if you have breasts & and vagina or not. I am glad you can stick up for yourself girl. Don't take any s*** from any of them. 

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Hey Daisy,

Friday went surprisingly well, everyone was super nice, and since I was there from the company creation and run HR I doubt much will happen that I can’t handle. My only real fear is someone getting angry and calling me a dirty name, but that has only ever happened when I have to fire someone or let them go... I may not currently have a vagina, but I certainly now have the breasts, and coming out makes my life easier at work since I don’t have to layer with a flannel while it’s hot and sweat to death. However it has created a bit of a new issue as nobody looks me in the eyes anyway, but now the new issue is they’re looking straight at my chest and I feel like I need a shirt that says “eyes up here buddy “ just so I know they’re listening to me.

Hugs,

Jae

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Just now, jae bear said:

Hey Daisy,

Friday went surprisingly well, everyone was super nice, and since I was there from the company creation and run HR I doubt much will happen that I can’t handle. My only real fear is someone getting angry and calling me a dirty name, but that has only ever happened when I have to fire someone or let them go... I may not currently have a vagina, but I certainly now have the breasts, and coming out makes my life easier at work since I don’t have to layer with a flannel while it’s hot and sweat to death. However it has created a bit of a new issue as nobody looks me in the eyes anyway, but now the new issue is they’re looking straight at my chest and I feel like I need a shirt that says “eyes up here buddy “ just so I know they’re listening to me.

Hugs,

Jae

I am so glad it went better for you Jae on Friday. I think if I saw a Co-Worker staring at my breasts instead of eye to eye I would say something smart like "You Like What You See". :) 

 

Big Hugs, Daisy Mae

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HA!  I don’t think I have the guts to say that but it is hilarious. I did get a comment from our head machinist while we were discussing a project and some different tooling Friday afternoon, he said hey, I know I said you should hire a girl with big boobs for me to work with, but I take it back, I don’t need your help that much, and I don’t know how I feel about the way you look anymore. I know I couldn’t stop smiling and I laughed a little, he thought it was funny and he smiled and he laughed a little too, even though it was weird and awkward it was really quite nice of him to say something that I know it’s difficult for him to squeak out.  Things turned the corner at home too and I’m really happy about it, my wife and I had a breakthrough and I feel like I can breathe again. She came to me with nothing but love in her heart and explained all of the things that she was worried about and what her intentions were. While it was hard to hear, everything she said was true, honest, necessary, reassuring, she loves me and she’s going to stay and support me even though it’s hard for her to do. I’ve been holding my breath for quite some time now waiting for this to happen. Not that it’s all going to be sunshine and roses going forward, but I now have the baseline knowing she loves me and is staying with me and even more than that will support me because of the former statement. I’m also quite glad that I’ll be able to give her the anniversary gifts I bought as I was really stressed out that our marriage wouldn’t make it to the end of the month. 

Hugs,

Jae

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Jae, I agree with Julie that being open is the way to go. I have told a few of my neighbors since they have seen me out and I would rather that they know the truth rather than make assumptions about me.

I'm glad that things are going well at work. I'm sure that you are relieved to not have to hide anymore. I wish I could have done that, but I knew how everyone would react, as we had a trans woman working there some years back. I saw how she was treated and so I chose to wait until I retired to come out full time.

I too am very sorry about your problems at home. Reading your posts, I am very much aware of how much you love your wife, and I believe that she loves you as well. Maybe she thinks that you are moving too fast and needs time to adjust to the changes. Or maybe she is afraid of the future. I hope that things will work out for you.

 

Hugs,

Brandi

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 I’m just so happy that my wife came to me this morning to tell me things that were hard for both of us to handle, it was hard for her to say, and it was hard for me to hear, but it was all truthful and came from her heart. I listened and listened, avoided the incredible urge to say something about the sentence she was uttering at any given time, but I allowed myself to take it all in and told myself that the important things I will remember when she is done talking. That really did work for both of us, rather than me defending myself over every little topic,  absorbing it all and finding honesty in her words was something I’m just not used to. We love each other deeply, and the depth of her love is beyond my understanding, which is primarily the reason I love her so much myself. I always knew that we would work this out in someway, and I know there are many bumps in the road ahead, but as others have said she’s got her seatbelt on tight, as do I, and while we may not be going full throttle we certainly  need to find a pace that makes us both comfortable. I very much look forward to the day when we can go see a therapist together and work things through, finding ways to show her love to one another that maybe at the moment we’re on aware of. She took me to the mall today as she wanted a tech device for herself and I was more than happy to go with her, but she ended up buying us matching devices  and told me that I was just going to wear it even though it was pink. I’m pretty glad I’m out at work, that new accessory would be a little hard to explain if I wasn’t. 

Hugs,

Jae

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11 hours ago, jae bear said:

 I’m just so happy that my wife came to me this morning to tell me things that were hard for both of us to handle, it was hard for her to say, and it was hard for me to hear, but it was all truthful and came from her heart. I listened and listened, avoided the incredible urge to say something about the sentence she was uttering at any given time, but I allowed myself to take it all in and told myself that the important things I will remember when she is done talking. That really did work for both of us, rather than me defending myself over every little topic,  absorbing it all and finding honesty in her words was something I’m just not used to. We love each other deeply, and the depth of her love is beyond my understanding, which is primarily the reason I love her so much myself. I always knew that we would work this out in someway, and I know there are many bumps in the road ahead, but as others have said she’s got her seatbelt on tight, as do I, and while we may not be going full throttle we certainly  need to find a pace that makes us both comfortable. I very much look forward to the day when we can go see a therapist together and work things through, finding ways to show her love to one another that maybe at the moment we’re on aware of. She took me to the mall today as she wanted a tech device for herself and I was more than happy to go with her, but she ended up buying us matching devices  and told me that I was just going to wear it even though it was pink. I’m pretty glad I’m out at work, that new accessory would be a little hard to explain if I wasn’t. 

Hugs,

Jae

Jae, even though I have never been married and never felt that type of love what you wrote is what I have seen and heard that is exactly what a loving marriage is all about. Even when there are bumps in the roads like the one you are your wife are going through you both are being honest and communicating together and bringing things out from your hearts. it may not be the easiest thing, but it helps in the end. I commend both you and your wife. There are so many couples who go through stuff that just shut down and make things way worse. You both are not doing that and you both are supporting each other. Big hugs to the both of you.

 

~Daisy Mae

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