This Makes No Sense!

[CharlotteW]

Now this is an oddball thing, isn't it?!

I was in the monthly trans support meeting and I mentioned that I'm far, FAR more comfortable around men. This is a pretty cosmopolitan group, with many opinions and thoughts. They were all deeply puzzled by this. All the transwoman, EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM, stated they had always been more comfortable around women, and doing girly things.

Not me! It's not that I enjoy doing some manly things sometimes, I have no desire to do any typically feminine things, ever. Well, except dating boys and shopping for clothes. One on one with a woman if fine with me, but in a group that is all, or even mostly female, I get very uncomfortable in a nanosecond. I think I even dropped a class in college because there were too many women. Don't get me wrong, I DO identify, and ever more strongly, as a woman, but women give me the hebejebes, and I have no clue why. One thing I DETEST, is that it seems that if women don't like you, they get all passive aggressive and smile as they spew venom, they pat you on the back and there's a knife stuck in it. This I have experience with. I like dealing with guys SO much more. They can be very crude, disrespectful and even violent, but if a guy don't like you, he punches you in the mouth and that's the end of it. I can deal with that.

For the first time ever, I kinda wish I was a gay guy, then I could deal with women exclusively at my own discretion. And then it's like, I want to be one of the guys, and at the same time, be a suitable romantic interest but in a girl way. I have run this through my head many, many times, but as far as I can tell, I'm not a gay man; I'm a straight woman who is paranoid about her sisters. This I do not understand at all. :?

[Sally]

Just yesterday I saw an old female partner who had cheated me on a large business deal - so she is doing very well and has moved to a much more expensive city and I am struggling for survival so I know about the knife in hand while patting you on the back.

In business men will 'pat you on the back, just way too low and with the wrong appendage'- they'll kick you in the behind!

A natal female friend of mine told me, "Never go into a business with a woman - they'll cheat you every time."

Uneasiness is not really that uncommon among natal females.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Cait]

I haven't always been very comfortable around women and still never have dated too many.

They seem more attracted to me as I transition, but it could be the fact that I seem less of a threat. As If.

Your not alone in finding women to be strange creatures.

My mother was a big influence on my life, but I had very few other female role models.

I spent alot of time growing up with my Mom, and haven't have much of an attachment to any other people most of my life.

I have mostly had relationships with men, but I have dated some women but alot of that was out of feeling that I was obligated to date at a certain age.

It seems I feel fairly comfortable around women more and more, but i find that people in general are rather flighty.

Really I prefer to be around other TG people, as I don't really like other types of people as much anymore.

(i make exceptions if i have to or need to)

If I had my way, I would just be around other transsexuals at this time in my life.

Cait

[Guest katiewana]

I personally am not comfortable around groups of people of either gender. Situations like being in class or at work are fine but just spending time with people, if it's more than 3 or 4 people in the group I just want to run away.

I know lots of women though that hate being around other women. One of my really good friends a while back had a ton of guys for friends and only two other women who she'd only see on rare occasion. So your definitely not alone in that respect.

Also don't worry about not liking all the "girly" activities, that's something that bothered me for quite a while since I'm the same way. I'm finally getting past that though, gender has nothing to do with what activites you enjoy outside of the social programming we all receive as children.

Just be yourself, do what you want to do, and you'll be happy.

Kate

[Guest My_Genesis]

I had mainly male friends in preschool and my first few years of elementary school, and mostly female friends from that point til now. now im pretty mixed, although in terms of comfort....im more comfortable around guys just because girls can get really personal with each other and I don't like getting too personal, lol it's not my thing. neither is getting involved in each other's emotions and being empathetic, being all touchy-feely, trying to make each other feel better and being supportive. lol i just suck at that stuff. and guys i can also say things without thinking so much about how im going to offend someoen or hurt hteir feelings because i have a tendency to do that more than i should with girls

I don't know if it's a matter of gender id., maybe it just has more to do with the friends you grew up with. one of my guy friends says all his friends are girls because he can't stand guys and they're annoying (and no he's not gay) i guess that means basically he's more comfortable around women. how he can handle so many women as friends i have no idea

but i dunno, i wouldn't worry about it too much.