Finding humor in my transition?

[jae bear]

Things went fairly smooth last night so it wasn’t too bad. Although my wife did make one really nasty comment that I didn’t like as it was pretty much derogatory and hurtful. I get that she’s hurt, but I’m not doing anything to hurt her back other than just trying to live my life and be the person I’m supposed to be, but when she says hurtful derogatory sexual things to me I think that’s way over the line and I politely told her so but then she says “oh it’s just a joke,” as if that is supposed to make it better. The funny thing is I had just told her that my transition has a great deal of humor surrounding it and that it’s OK for it to be funny sometimes because I find it funny and like to joke about it as well, however I absolutely won’t tolerate anyone making me the Topic of a cruel or vulgar joke and I had just said that to her before she made her comment so either she did it without thinking or she did it right after I told her not to and she thought “here is a way to really get at him.” I fully realize that sentence ends with the wrong pronoun, but in her head that’s definitely what she’s thinking, I’m just waiting for her to say, you’re never going to be a “real” woman.

My wife and my daughter had been talking about things earlier that evening when I was working out, my wife was asking my daughter how she was doing and how she felt, so my daughter opened up a little and said “you know I do feel a little weird about dad I don’t know what to think but I still love him.” They talked a little about it but not too deeply, I don’t think my wife can take it when she does, and my daughter said something so funny that my wife and I almost Peed the bed laughing about it when she told me late at night. I guess I had left my voice therapy paperwork on the keyboard of my computer and my daughter had looked at it and saw where it says ‘identifies as transgender’ or maybe ‘identifies as female’, and my daughter asked my wife about that and what it meant. So my wife explained it, then she understood it, thought about it for a second, and then said, “well then, I identify as a pinecone.” Neither my wife nor I could stop laughing or crying about this, it was hilarious! I’ve never heard of anyone transitioning to a pinecone, but just the simple idea that she came up with that on her own was instantaneously and uncontrollably hilarious. My little kid is pretty awesome, she makes one heck of a good transgender joke.

Hugs,

Jae

.

PS.   I hope nobody finds my kids joke offensive, I was a little worried about posting this one, but I wanted to share it as I personally thought it was incredibly funny. If anyone thinks this is inappropriate I am fully OK with a moderator removing this post as I wasn’t quite sure if anyone would be offended by the transitioning to pinecone joke.

[Ravin]

Just now, jae bear said:

Things went fairly smooth last night so it wasn’t too bad. Although my wife did make one really nasty comment that I didn’t like as it was pretty much derogatory and hurtful. I get that she’s hurt, but I’m not doing anything to hurt her back other than just trying to live my life and be the person I’m supposed to be, but when she says hurtful derogatory sexual things to me I think that’s way over the line and I politely told her so but then she says “oh it’s just a joke,” as if that is supposed to make it better. The funny thing is I had just told her that my transition has a great deal of humor surrounding it and that it’s OK for it to be funny sometimes because I find it funny and like to joke about it as well, however I absolutely won’t tolerate anyone making me the Topic of a cruel or vulgar joke and I had just said that to her before she made her comment so either she did it without thinking or she did it right after I told her not to and she thought “here is a way to really get at him.” I fully realize that sentence ends with the wrong pronoun, but in her head that’s definitely what she’s thinking, I’m just waiting for her to say, you’re never going to be a “real” woman.

My wife and my daughter had been talking about things earlier that evening when I was working out, my wife was asking my daughter how she was doing and how she felt, so my daughter opened up a little and said “you know I do feel a little weird about dad I don’t know what to think but I still love him.” They talked a little about it but not too deeply, I don’t think my wife can take it when she does, and my daughter said something so funny that my wife and I almost Peed the bed laughing about it when she told me late at night. I guess I had left my voice therapy paperwork on the keyboard of my computer and my daughter had looked at it and saw where it says ‘identifies as transgender’ or maybe ‘identifies as female’, and my daughter asked my wife about that and what it meant. So my wife explained it, then she understood it, thought about it for a second, and then said, “well then, I identify as a pinecone.” Neither my wife nor I could stop laughing or crying about this, it was hilarious! I’ve never heard of anyone transitioning to a pinecone, but just the simple idea that she came up with that on her own was instantaneously and uncontrollably hilarious. My little kid is pretty awesome, she makes one heck of a good transgender joke.

Hugs,

Jae

.

PS.   I hope nobody finds my kids joke offensive, I was a little worried about posting this one, but I wanted to share it as I personally thought it was incredibly funny. If anyone thinks this is inappropriate I am fully OK with a moderator removing this post as I wasn’t quite sure if anyone would be offended by the transitioning to pinecone joke.

 

I suspect part of the joke was context that might get lost on a reader, but that's ok.

 

The whole "identify" thing is why there are T-shirts and such that say "I don't identify, I am." Poking at the "identify" language is definitely a good use of humor in my book.

 

I'm glad that even during the difficult stage you're able to find the humor. Life can be surreal at times, especially during transition!

[jae bear]

@MaryMary    That is absolutely hilarious, I think that definitely tops the transitioning to pinecone idea, I seriously doubt anyone at work could top that level of medical excuse!

Hugs,

Jae

[jae bear]

 I realize since I wasn’t fairly specific about what she said it’s hard for people to understand where I’m going with this conversation, so I’ll try to clarify a little bit without being vulgar. I was talking about the idea that since I’m a lesbian and want my own vagina that it would be odd to have one and not know what to do with it, and without turning over or looking at me or even so much is turning her cell phone off said to me “yeah well you’re going to need some man parts in there.” Of course she didn’t say ‘man parts’ and it was a four letter word starting with D and ending with K, but I feel very secure about who I am and where I’m going and I have to say I am very straight lesbian. Then again there’s always that weird little part of me that wonders what the Hecks going on in my brain, thoughts whizing everywhere where they didn’t used to be, losing my train of thought and having odd conversations in my head that didn’t exist before, and of course Jenny Boylan’s conclusion for her was that the way she felt about men had changed and it’s spooked me a little bit, I really don’t want that part of me to change but I know it does for some, I suppose only time will tell. In any case If that part of me does change I will abstain and reject the notion simply so I  can prove my wife wrong!

[Cindy Truheart]

@MaryMary That's priceless!

 

@jae bear  I wouldn't worry about it. It's been my experience that those of us who've repressed our sexuality have other indicators that can be clearly seen when hindsight is 20/20. If you haven't had a reason to question your sexuality in the past ten years or so, you probably got it right. No worries, its copacetic.

[jae bear]

I’ve given this a lot of thought, I just don’t think that part of me is going to change, I honestly I don’t want it too as I know precisely what I like and this little lesbian really likes chubby girls. It’s really hard to think straight these days, with all these thoughts whizzing past my brain that I can’t quite grasp and the ones I do want to seem to slip out from under me before I can remember what they were, all the mental acrobatics are starting to make me wonder if things are going to change but I am assuming I can simply control myself.

Hugs,

Jae

[tracy_j]

I have found that humour works really well to defuse situations. I think it becomes obvious when things are going too far, but it has helped me in the past.

 

Tracy

[Cthorne]

Oh wow..... Humour is all my family know...its how we deal with weird situations, I'll give a few examples sorry if these are tmi.

 

1) When I came out to my brothers the older of the three said I wasn't allowed to have bottom surgery (he obviously didn't use these words) because it would make him all self-conscious that I might be bigger than him down there and he just couldn't handle it. (Cue intense crazed laughter) Followed by my mother adding "But she might show you... you know for your opinion if it looks right..." I was like "No no no nope not happening! Let's move on shall we..." We were all crying with laughter.

 

2) Having a family meeting about me getting a packer (now referred to as a pecker) Discussing size and colour and my parents asking to see photos and making jokes about it whenever possible.

 

I've decided that my family are weird, I'd tell people I'm adopted but I look too much like them no one would believe me.

 

Again sorry if this is too much info... Just funny moments with the family  

[Guest]

I think you're all correct regarding the importance of humor.

 

If my wife and I were not both profoundly silly people at heart, our marriage might not have survived the transgender roller coaster.

[jae bear]

@Cthorne & @Kenna Dixon    You both certainly have the silly gene! I dont think one could transition without it... why were you two posting so early in the morning? I just cant sleep, so I am up with the chickens this morning... I am definately in a ‘life is weird’ kind of mood today.

Hugs,

Jae

[Guest]

8 hours ago, jae bear said:

@Kenna Dixon why were you two posting so early in the morning?

 

I'm usually at the computer by five EDT and writing by six on weekdays.  My main client in Texas shuts down at six in the evening our time, so it's a long day.

 

But I get up early every day.  I like to sit on the porch with a cup of coffee and watch the sun come up.  

[Cthorne]

I would just like to add I did not set up a family meeting about packers and stuff, I wasn't even going to mention it to them but somehow the subject was bought up and we were all in the living-room and it just became a subject that everyone had an opinion on lol  My family are bonkers!

 

As for being up early... that post I made was at 11:47am.... Unless it shows a different time for you because I'm in the UK.

 

I guess if I have any other funny moments I will have to post them here, just to share with you nice folks!  

[jae bear]

On 5/28/2018 at 4:17 AM, Cthorne said:

As for being up early... that post I made was at 11:47am.... Unless it shows a different time for you because I'm in the UK.

 

Ahhh... Yes... The posting time here showed 3:47am!

Hugs,

Jae

[Jani]

Ahh, that what happens Jae you're part of a worldwide community!  Someone is always around.

 

Jani

[Guest]

On 5/28/2018 at 7:17 AM, Cthorne said:

Unless it shows a different time for you because I'm in the UK.

 

It's been a long-standing joke between me and my friend in Bilston that people in the UK think it's five hours later than it actually is.

 

I always write to him well before midnight on December 31st to ask what changes to expect from the new year.

[jae bear]

 Well you know how it is, I’ve always assumed that the world revolved around me and I’m only just now realizing that it doesn’t, thanks for bursting my bubble!?

Hugs,

Jae