Coming Out... maybe...

[NekoSammy]

Hey everyone it's me again, sorry I bother so much.

I'm thinking it's time to come out. What we did was first told my mom that my girlfriend was pansexual and genderfluid to see how she would take that and it went over well. Now she was saying I could just come out to my mom at least, but I'm scared. My family is good at putting on a mask to look nice in front of people, then taking it off when it comes to me. I'm scared, what if they hate it, or disown me? I can't lose my family. They are all I have, please help in any way you can. I don't know how to come out.

~Samantha

[Guest Rachel Gia]

Coming out was a way of freeing myself from the secrets that were keeping me internalized and when I finally did it was such a relief.

Take your time and let it be right when you do .

She may already have had a light turn on with the knowledge around your girlfriend.

Cheers

 

PS I really like the Will Smith quote and I have found that to be true.

[BrandiBri]

Hi Samantha,

I was about to say basically the same things as Mary, but not quite in the same words. I totally agree that you need to do this on your own terms.

21 minutes ago, NekoSammy said:

I'm scared, what if they hate it, or disown me?

I think we have all been there at first, but in my experience I found that my fears were unfounded. My fears led me to never reveal to my parents unfortunately, but like Mary I just told it like it was. I told two people over the phone, which is not the best way I admit, but my sister lives in Hawaii and I live in Nebraska so that was the only way possible. My oldest daughter lives in Colorado.

 

[Guest]

Here's a few thoughts that may also help. Mother's who have raised their children, fed and nurtured them will never throw them away, not even for a capitol crime. They may become tearful and there may be some drama, but in the end she will take the pragmatic approach realizing that it is what it is. Dad's usually don't care for any disruptions and drama in the normal ebb and flow of family life, and it's possible that he will have one of those blustering "Oh goddammit" moments, but don't worry about him, he'll come around once your mother calms down enough for the two of them to discuss it between them. He's the head of the household, but she controls the reins and she will shape him up. When the dust settles, you will still be their child and they will still love you. Believe me, this is how it most often pans out! Keep in mind that in a sense you will be going through a rebirth, suffice it to say that if there is no struggle involved it would be a still birth. So taking into account Mary Mary's comments along with what I have said here, it's up to you to follow through when you are ready armed with the knowledge beforehand of what to expect. Remain calm and respectful towards your family members, let them yell  if they have to, but you remain calm and no yelling back and you will do fine!