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Confusing The Children?


Guest Neuro

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Guest Neuro

Have you ever noticed--or is it just me--how kids seem to pick up on things easier? More curiously, but easier?

I am... fairly androgynous. So kids stare at me in the mall and stuff... like, a little boy going "Is that guy in the suit a boy or a girl??" XD It is kind of fun, I admit...

But recently, I have noticed it a lot.

At church, my best friend (female) was hugging on me for some reason. A little girl ran up and asked in the most blunt way ever: "Are you boyfriend and girlfriend?"

My friend said that no, we were two girls (fffff). The little girl paused and went "...Oh." She pointed at me. "Usually, it's only boyfriends that get hugged by their girlfriends." She stared at me again, trying to spot the girliness SOMEWHERE--and then ran away. That little girl thought I was a boy? Is it pathetic to wanna go "YES!!"? XD

At my play in drama school, I had to play the female lead. (It went well, but no one cares this isn't my blog or whatever. I hadn't been in a dress so long, I had to have another girl give me lessons on sitting and walking cutely!). In the cast room, I didn't care about changing into my t-shirt and jeans because... well, I don't hold much modesty for a female body I don't care to protect. My young friend Jill was staring at me, and I said "Sorry, I'm secretly a guy--can you tell?" jokingly. She brushed it off a little, kind of nervous. But I heard her talking to another girl later, about "How good I look in jeans," "How brave and cool I am," and "How much she wished I could be her big brother." (FYI, her real older brother is a jerk).

Jill is like my little sister anyway, we joke about being father and daughter--but even though I have never told her who I really am, and she knows I was born a girl... She sees me as a guy. And a guy she looks up to. Made me almost cry, ffffff. Because I don't deserve it...

They say kids are more perceptive of things. I think it's true. Because these are only a few of my experiences this YEAR, and I'm running out of room :\ Adults tend to just look and move on, not think anything of it... but children are much more vocal and curious. Somehow, that makes their opinions matter more to me.

Do any of you have stories like this? Or any input? Have you ever came across a chance encounter with a child, who genuinely saw you in body or soul; as who you are...?

(Of course, sometimes you get the bad things from kids, too. "Why is a girl wearing a boys jacket??" XDDD god, kids!!) :rolleyes:

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Guest ~Brenda~

Hi Neuro,

Fascinating topic. I myself have not had that particular passing experience with children. There are no children in the context of my life right now. I think it is so adorable how honest children are. Children don't lie. If you pass to a child, you really pass!!!

LOL

bernii

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Guest Jeannine Bean
Have you ever noticed--or is it just me--how kids seem to pick up on things easier? More curiously, but easier?

Do any of you have stories like this? Or any input? Have you ever came across a chance encounter with a child, who genuinely saw you in body or soul; as who you are...?

(Of course, sometimes you get the bad things from kids, too. "Why is a girl wearing a boys jacket??" XDDD god, kids!!) :rolleyes:

Yes. I used to date someone with a young daughter. The daughter always called me she and talked about me like I was a girl... She knew correct pronouns and could talk clearly enough.. native speaker and all. Her mom just said, "perceptive, that one."

Also, I teach little kids and I notice they're sometimes pretty accepting and sometimes quite crude. Since I'm the adult in the room, I spend my time working to make them more tolerant and wide minded individuals. When we do flashcards, I sometimes call the one in the dress "He" and the one with short hair and no dress "She."... why not? The kids will freak out until I ask how many girls in the room have a dress on (none, usually).. and it's summer so some have short hair.. a couple of boys have longer hair.. then they'll just go on with it. If anyone starts calling kids gay or lesbian to try and make fun of them, I just say, "it's okay, where I am from gay and lesbian is common.. just remember, no kissing in my class." And if anyone tries to make fun of kids by mixing gender pronouns I always ask, "are you a girl or a boy?" then I just insist people use whatever pronoun the kid indicates. Maybe I'll start asking which one they are "today" to let them experiment a little more.

Little seeds, right? They're the future, and I get to help them be more tolerant. I have a boy in my class whom I believe probably is gay (15, and in with a bunch of 11 year olds because his english sucks). I won't tolerate anyone being mean to him or anybody else because of sexuality or gender issues. This is where "Teacher J" puts her foot down.

--Jeannine

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Guest Leigh

my best friend is a girl, and i've known her all my life...we always joked for years that i'm a guy...(i am..lol, imagine that?). i haven't come out to her yet, but i'm planning to very soon.

it's funny, i think we made those jokes before i even knew who i was....

peace&love

Leigh

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Guest Nire

little kids are cool because they don't have stuff hammered into them so permanently.

There was this one kid at track practice (he was the coaches son) So he come up to me and is all like "Hi girly guy" or something like that. part of me found him mean I was like arghh! mean little kid (to myself of course); I wanted to insult him back (NOTE:I'm kind of immature sometimes, ok...very...alot) the other part of me was like Yay! recognition like inner Sakura's "hell yeah". I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm weird though because I say stuff to him and wave and he's like looking at me weird and I'm like wondering why.

I like your style, Jeannine, teaching sounds like a cool career. Kids can be trippy sometimes though.

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Guest Nelly

Hi,

kids are a unwritten piece of paper. The adults around give them the rules to find out right or wrong. So if they meet people the meet not before they are curious because they have no rule to judge. E.g. if the only see boys and girls huging, than huging for boys and girls is okay. If they see only girls huging they do not know if this is okay. They ask to get the rule. If the parents are close minded they say that girls huging is not okay. than next time they have the rule to judge huging girls and than they do not like it. the same is possible in the other way.

So it is important to give the kids an open mind that they will not judge by following rules they must learn to generate they own rules by thinking.

Greetings

Nelly

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Guest joe0117

I worked with kids for about 15 years now in different settings. I did summer camp for 6 years, I've done coaching, I worked as a teacher's assistant with children with autism and down syndrome, and I have worked with children in residential who have behavioral problems. When I fisrt started working with abused children with beavioral problems, I was 19 but I looked like I was 12. A lot of them asked me point blank, are you a boy or a girl? Like Teacher J, I got an opportunity to teach them about differences, tolerance, and acceptance. I think I was more easily accepted by the children than the adults. In my experience, children are more easily accepting and willing to be tolerant especially if they form a connection with you. I feel like I have an opportunity to be a role model.

Joe

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Guest Deeedoo

Well, this isn't really with little kids, but when Skyy first saw me she couldn't figure out if I was physically male or female. I rarely talked because I had no one to talk to and I was allowed to wear my baggy t-shirts because it was band camp. I also wore tiny bras that smashed my 'chest hair' and were unhealthy. It made me very happy to find out that she hadn't been able to tell my physical gender.

Also in band camp, this trombone upperclassmen thought I was male and said, "That guy's pretty cool." I was happy when I found out because he was confused and because someone actually thought I was cool.

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Guest nova

This is a fascinating topic. I've had a few experiences. Before I started transitioning, my female friend's daughter asked, "why does (Nova) have a girl's "bottom"?" My female friend who lives in my building babysits her friends little daughter, and she named her teddy bear after me. (does that mean she see's me as a boy?) But once I was downtown talking to a male friend and his friends walked by with their little child in their arms. My friend tried to introduce me but this couple drew back and frowned at me like I was a baby-snatching monster. Little children frequently start talking to me in public--nothing questioning my gender--just innocently talking about whatever, but now I am apprehensive that their parent will 'read' me, freak out and snatch their child away in horror.

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Guest Donna Jean
Little children frequently start talking to me in public--nothing questioning my gender--just innocently talking about whatever, but now I am apprehensive that their parent will 'read' me, freak out and snatch their child away in horror.

I have this happen, too, Nova....and I don't like it at all....

I've had children come up to me in a store and just start talking to me...I suppose that now I look a lot less threatening as I am kind of getting to that stage of between genders where people stare at me wondering...

And I don't want children snatched away as if I was something from outer space...

But, I guess that's it's the society that we live in ....Heck, there are guys around where I live (sticks of Ohio) who believe that if they were to touch a gay.....they would get a case of "Gay", too!

What a world... :rolleyes:

Donna Jean

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Guest Ashlee
....Heck, there are guys around where I live (sticks of Ohio) who believe that if they were to touch a gay.....they would get a case of "Gay", too!

What a world... :rolleyes:

Donna Jean

Donna Jean,

I think you hit the nail on the head here.

This is not just an issue in Ohio, its everywhere.

Which is probably why people will tend to "snatch" their kids away from us. They think their kids will "catch" something from us... :rolleyes:

Kids...they are so honest, so pure. Just gotta love 'em! :wub:

Ashlee

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Guest Evan_J

I've always held little children and animals as a "barometer". If kids hang back from you or don't like you and animals shun you too you probably are no good :) That works the other way also. Too bad parents don't look at the reactions of their children instead of just wanting to implant theirs.

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