Do you know any safe methods to start looking more like a guy?

[Aro]

Hi, thank you to everyone who helped me after my last post. I am pretty sure i am trans as opposed to non-binary especially after having my first kinda dysphoric panic attack in the women's section of a department store today. I was wondering if there are any safe ways to make myself look a bit more masculine. I'm young and don't have a job yet and i came out to my mom once as trans then backed away and said i wasn't because i got overwhelmed and scared one night and i don't know if i'm ready to come out again so buying binders is kind of tough though i have some old ones that work pretty well but i feel really dysphoric about my hips as well and don't know how to shop men's. Any tips will do wonders i just want to experiment more with my look and going out and presenting as a boy to be sure that's how i'm most comfortable before i make a full transition.

[Terry]

I think the main difference between typical men's and women's clothing is that men's clothing is usually baggier. Which is probably a big advantage for you, because it's also easier to hide your body shape. Other than that men's clothing is typically less colourful, with a preference for darker colours.

 

There's a bit of an overlap (which is my personal comfort zone). Regular cut jeans are not very different, nor are t-shirts and certain types of sweatshirts.

[SugarMagnolia]

Hi Aro,

One nice thing about shopping the men's section is that you're unlikely to attract any attention...lots of wives, daughters and girlfriends looking at clothes for their male relatives. So, you should feel confident looking around. 

What sort of places/activities would you be doing? Going to the store/mall, coffee shop/restaurant, school?

In general, I find men's fashion to be boxier, less colorful with fewer accessories. Muted/neutral colors, prints limited to stripes or plaids. 

You could start with something as simple as jeans, a t-shirt or polo, some vans/converse and a baseball cap. Take advantage of the enormous front pockets you'll have in you pants or shorts and load up your phone, wallet, keys etc. Error on the side of loose and wear your shirt untucked. that will probably minimize chest and hips. If you wear shorts go for some big cargo shorts and put things in the pockets that you would normally have in a bag. 

Check out some thrift shops, salvation army, good will, etc. There should be a ton of basic guy stuff for hardly any money. And go to public spaces like malls to watch people, see what you like on guys, what you think you could pull off and especially how people stand and interact with one another. 

I'm sure others will have more targeted/better advice, but those are at least some things to think about. The main thing is to be yourself, be confident and have fun. 

Julie


 

[Aro]

Just now, SugarMagnolia said:

Hi Aro,

One nice thing about shopping the men's section is that you're unlikely to attract any attention...lots of wives, daughters and girlfriends looking at clothes for their male relatives. So, you should feel confident looking around. 

What sort of places/activities would you be doing? Going to the store/mall, coffee shop/restaurant, school?

In general, I find men's fashion to be boxier, less colorful with fewer accessories. Muted/neutral colors, prints limited to stripes or plaids. 

You could start with something as simple as jeans, a t-shirt or polo, some vans/converse and a baseball cap. Take advantage of the enormous front pockets you'll have in you pants or shorts and load up your phone, wallet, keys etc. Error on the side of loose and wear your shirt untucked. that will probably minimize chest and hips. If you wear shorts go for some big cargo shorts and put things in the pockets that you would normally have in a bag. 

Check out some thrift shops, salvation army, good will, etc. There should be a ton of basic guy stuff for hardly any money. And go to public spaces like malls to watch people, see what you like on guys, what you think you could pull off and especially how people stand and interact with one another. 

I'm sure others will have more targeted/better advice, but those are at least some things to think about. The main thing is to be yourself, be confident and have fun. 

Julie


 

Thank you. I've arleady known about the liberation of cargo pants and their endless pockets haha (as an artist it helps s lot so i dont have to allways carry bags in the summer) but i'll definateky try and mimic more of male esc style like you said to try. I also never thought about the shopping for otgers thing so i think i'll be a lot more comfy in mens sections now :).

[Aro]

Just now, Terry said:

I think the main difference between typical men's and women's clothing is that men's clothing is usually baggier. Which is probably a big advantage for you, because it's also easier to hide your body shape. Other than that men's clothing is typically less colourful, with a preference for darker colours.

 

There's a bit of an overlap (which is my personal comfort zone). Regular cut jeans are not very different, nor are t-shirts and certain types of sweatshirts.

Thank you so much, i was wondering alot about jeans because a lot of the ones i saw were the type that tries to enhance curves which is an obvious no go but i'll see if i can find some baggier ones to wear to help.

[nathand]

If you dont want to shop in the mens section of a store you can always shop online! asos is good place to get nice clothes online, they have a very wide selection. Also I agree with everyone about the baggy clothes, and like many have also said men's clothes is typically less colorful. Sometimes shopping a size up can make sure that your clothes are baggy enough to hide your body. That is what I tend to do. Hope this helped!

[ChickenLittle]

If you have trouble finding pants that fit your hips, look for anything labeled "athletic fit" or "tapered," they will have more room in the hips and still look masculine without making you look like you're swimming in fabric. And I'm sure you've already thought of this, but a good haircut can do wonders for your confidence! As far as clothes go, I try to shy away from overly baggy things as they make me look very very young. I try to find things that fit well and are cut in a way to minimize things I want to hide (hips! chest!) and emphasize things I like (shoulders). Aaron Ansuini also has some great clothing tips in this video: 

 

 

[Annie]

My son and I have done quite a bit of shopping to try out new clothes and to try to figure out what his look is going to be. One thing that he seems to gravitate towards that does make him look more masculine in shape are unbuttoned shirts over a T-shirt.  We're pretty naturally curvy in our family and my guy is not ready to start medical transitioning so he’s relying on clothes to create a masculine shape. It seems to really be about thinking in terms of the lines your clothes will create. 

 

In terms of pants, he relies a lot on basketball shorts and athletic pants because those things basically have no shape. I got him a book from the library called Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out. This book has a lot of pictures in it of young trans folks and it has served as some inspiration. After looking through it, he tried some long khaki shorts with a flat front and a thick belt. These seem to work well for him also and they are a bit more stylish than the athletic wear. Another thought is that if you’re not quite ready to come out, but you want to feel more boy is to wear boy underwear. Women have always known that what you are wearing under your clothes that no one else sees actually impacts your mood. If you’re still wearing feminine underthings, changing that up may be an easy less expensive way to feel better.

 

probably the biggest thing that seemed to help him feel better about himself was a short haircut. I know this step is huge for a lot of people and my son was very worried about it, but I think of the day of the haircut as the day he got his smile back.