Am I The Only One Scared To Work On My Voice?

[Guest Soph]

Seriously, I've never been able to work on my voice without getting really nervous, which kind of throws it all out the window. I can't think of anywhere quiet enough and private enough to try it, but I think what frightens me more is that I don't think I'll ever be able to get my voice to be good enough. I know I need to work on my voice, and I know that it is something in my transition that I can start now (unlike hormones ), but I can't bring myself to work on it.

[Sally]

It sounds like you are fighting against a very basic fear - the fear of failure.

You are afraid to try to work on your voice, because it 'might not get good enough'.

Try at home - ususally no on comeinto the shower!

Pratice in your car, just confront the fear and practice.

The sure way to keep it from being good enough is to never practice - then you will fail.

Love ya,

Sally

[CharlotteW]

Sally, I've been advised not to work on my voice on my own as I will probably develop bad habits along the way that will be a pain to correct. Plus, I haven't a clue how to actually do it. I'm very bad at winging anything. I need to, more or less in a classroom setting, study the theory of something, then utilise that knowledge as the basis for practical application. Even the Youtube videos are more concerned with the practicalities rather than a thorough explanation of WHY such and such needs to be done, so I actually understand what the hell I'm doing.

[Guest Cait]

i sing

[Sally]

Record yourself - and you won't develop bad habbits.

Listen to women speaking - not watching movies and TV unless it is a talk show - working from scripts women alter their speech patterns.

No natal woman was ever given a how too speech course - they learned by listening and that is what you need to do.

Breath a little more shallow and do not let your voice resonate in your chest - speak forward (not from the back of your throat and you will sound more like a girl immediately.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Eth]

Seriously, I've never been able to work on my voice without getting really nervous, which kind of throws it all out the window. I can't think of anywhere quiet enough and private enough to try it, but I think what frightens me more is that I don't think I'll ever be able to get my voice to be good enough. I know I need to work on my voice, and I know that it is something in my transition that I can start now (unlike hormones ), but I can't bring myself to work on it.

You're not alone. It bugs the heck outta me too. I keep trying to practice alone in my room, but can't speak/sing loud enough to tell if I'm making much progress because the only place I can practice is in my bed room and my step-mom is always home, so I'm afraid she and/or neighbors (apartment has very thin walls) will hear.

I try my hardest to work on it, but my hardest just never seems to be enough ;\

[Guest chibi_usa]

I was scared at first too... But then my adrenaline rush made me like 2 freak ppl out XD LOL! Anyways ummm.... hmm.... Anywaysss don't worry! Like they said record it or try calling a friend that knows about u or u trust and ask them 4 help. Ask them if u need 2 make it higher or lower. ^^ Not sure if that helped but goood luuckkk!!

[Guest Donna Jean]

I practice in my car on the way back and forth to work...

Once you know the basics .....it's practice, practice, practice!

It's becoming better all of the time..not great...just better.

Once in a while I'll yell at the dog to stop chasing the cat and I surprise myself at the male voice that comes out...OMG I hate that!

See, that's where the FTM's have it better than us MTF's...

Our vocal cords don't shrink giving us a higher voice, but the FTM's on HRT will get a lower voice because of the lengthening of the vocal cords. DANG!

So we must work that much harder.

And as usual, Sally's advice is golden....she knows what she is talking about having been a professional musician most of her life, she knows about sound!

Good Luck.....

Donna Jean

[Guest Angelgrlsue]

I live in an apartment with thin walls, yet I practise my voice almost every chance I get. What I do so the neighbors or manager does not think there is a woman living with me and he raises my rent, is I use a pillow. I place it in front of my face, not on the face mind you but in front and begin to practise. It keeps the voice from traveling all throughout the apartment and outside and it also bounces back to you so you can hear how you sound. Recording your voice is good practise as well. Just my two cents worth.

[Guest 1charlotte1]

i sing

me too! i love singing along to the dresden dolls, cake bake betty, and within temptation! it's how i practice my voice!!!!!

luvs, Charlotte

[Guest nymphblossom]

It's scary at first, Soph. I've been working on my voice since the beginning of March. The progress has been slow but steady. I raised my voice range NINE notes by teaching myself to sing head voice. Practicing the "Doe a deer a female deer" song, I have raised it another FOUR!

I need structured exercises and the free on-line Deep Stealth program has been working miracles for me. Here's the link:

http://www.deepstealth.com/freebook/voicebook020.pdf

I keep track of my progress and compare my voice to female voice samples I have with free audio software call Audacity

http://audacity.sourceforge.net/

and Spectrogram 5.1.6

http://www.visualizationsoftware.com/gram.html

My therapist offered to be a non judgemental listener. I hope to take her up on that at my next session

YOU CAN DO IT!

Blossom

[Guest nymphblossom]

Oops, you have tto use the link DeepStealth has on their YouTube video. Let's try that again:

http://www.deepstealth.com/freebook/

Hope that helps

Blossom

[Guest Sophie H]

Not sure if it would work for you, but the way I practice is answering the phone. If I am at home on my own and nobody else is around and the phone goes I answer it in my female voice and pretend to be my sister and take a message and say I will get whoever they are after to call back later. I find this a good and reasonably private way of practicing.

[Guest Neuro]

Y'know, I don't think I remember posting this but I'll say it again--it sounds corny--but practicing in the CLOSET helps!

No, not 'don't come out!' I mean, if you are worried about an apartment neighbor complaints or parents knocking on doors or anything; practicing in a literal closet is a good hiding place for more difficult practice. Like for singing, or louder things.

So that you are more or less unheard, I turn on the TV or Stereo in the room to a loud-ish level. Then I go in my closet, and use a blanket or pillow to muffle the crack under the door. I live in a TINY house with 4 other people in it who love to nag people for talking--but no one has heard me practice. (My closet is also tiny, like a torture chamber!)

One thing to remember is 99% of the world (in my calculations of course) is NOT perfect at the first try. It takes years to get down right for most, but like you said; you can start it now. Baby steps, baby steps. You cannot be afraid, especially of judgement so it helps to be confident in yourself first; by practicing in the closet or using a recorder...

--Around me, there are some record stores that still have booths you can sing in. Get a record or CD, and go in there just to practice a little.

It is important to be able to conquer you own judgements, like "This is too deep" or "I'll never sound this cute." NYOOOOOOO!! D8 It's "My voice is too deep now, but it can be octaves lower by training!" or "I will sound cuter every day, because singing and recording will help me practice and learn from mistakes!" Because without mistakes, we will have no learning; and then none of us will ever have voices eh? >w0

I wish you best of luck, and it is a scary thing to try; but you will get comfortable with it! My voice is as high as A CHIPMUNK--BUT I vow to someday have at least an alto voice! We can do ANYTHING if our hearts are in the right place. Everything else will follow naturally then.

--Michael

[Guest sailcruisn]

I have worked on it some but right now I am living in a 1 bedroom apt with my mom and so that won't work. Plus my TV is my other computer and it has all of my sound stuff on it. I feel bad for not being able to practice. I guess there is a little fear too embedded with practicing around her as she doesn't understand much yet and is still kind of in denial.

[Guest Emily_MI]

I practice in my car on the way back and forth to work...

Once you know the basics .....it's practice, practice, practice!

It's becoming better all of the time..not great...just better.

Once in a while I'll yell at the dog to stop chasing the cat and I surprise myself at the male voice that comes out...OMG I hate that!

See, that's where the FTM's have it better than us MTF's...

Our vocal cords don't shrink giving us a higher voice, but the FTM's on HRT will get a lower voice because of the lengthening of the vocal cords. DANG!

So we must work that much harder.

And as usual, Sally's advice is golden....she knows what she is talking about having been a professional musician most of her life, she knows about sound!

Good Luck.....

Donna Jean

This is exactly what I do as well is practice ALL THE TIME in the car , it requires a lot of time and effort but once you have a tone and pitch that you are comfortable with you really just need to stick with it, and just have to keep working on it over and over again. I have been working on my voice for almost a month and I really have been very pleased with the results so far but I know that I still have a lot of work ahead of it. It is hard not to get discouraged(trust me, we all do) but you can't let that stop you from making your voice more the way you want it to be.

[Guest Emily_MI]

Attached is my most recent voice recording, been really happy with the results but there is still a lot that I need to work with(all things in life that is worth doing is never easy...)

[Guest Elizabeth K]

GREAT advice - don't be afraid.

Its very difficult to develop your voice and easy to get discouraged.

(1) Buy a good instruction CD like the Stealth one or Lana Speaks.

(2) If you wing it, just sing - sing difficult songs just at the top of your range. Sing loudly and also sing softly and quiet - vary the technique.

(3) Learn that you have to redevelop muscles you had as a chiild, and stopped using

(4) Try to talk soft and low at first when you find the range. Male and female range overlap in the male upper and female lower. Work to find and keep that.

(5) Practice in the car - but understand the road noise interferes a bit - taping can be good , but realize the quality of tape recorders vary

(5) Never give up. I had zero success for about two months

(6) Best advice? Listen to women talk. There is a singing quality and a beautiful uplift lilt at the end of sentences. There is also a very hard ennunciation - no slurring at all of any words, every part of the word is used, but the first part has a quiet treatment, and the last part is almost exaggerated =

ex-ADGE -er RATE -teddddtt!

Esses and Tees are especially women parts of speach, almost spit out.

(7) Use words and phrases women use - end with a question mark more often. Never make statements, always make suggestions? You think?

(8) Know women talk differently to men (more non-threatning) than with other women (conspiratory).

If you have the language code down pat, then your voice sound will not be noticed as much as long as it is softer and sort of in a feminine mode. Many women have naturally low or gruff voices. (That last set of sentences is presented 'masculine.")

You should probably try your best to keep to a feminine language code, and then your voice wouldn't matter so much? I have heard women who have really low or gruff voices, poor dears! (is this more feminine sounding?)

Hee hee

Lizzy

[Guest Donna Jean]

I want everyone to listen to Lizzy's advice here! She knows what she is talking about!

I talk to her on the phone and she is a true "Southern Belle!"

Sounds amazing.....I don't think that I've heard her in any other mode!

Good luck everyone...if any of you can get to half of how Lizzy sounds...you'll have it aced!

HUGGS

Donna Jean

[Guest Leigh]

i have to admit, Soph..i too am afraid to practice...

i don't know why, but the idea of sitting alone in a room and talking to myself...........well.

and i don't really know HOW i would try to lower my voice.

sometimes when i talk, my voice just sounds lower, and i like it, but sometimes it sounds really high, and..well, you get the idea.

i guess i'll have to plunder this thread for advice as well...

peace&love

leigh

[Guest Emily_MI]

GREAT advice - don't be afraid.

Its very difficult to develop your voice and easy to get discouraged.

(1) Buy a good instruction CD like the Stealth one or Lana Speaks.

(2) If you wing it, just sing - sing difficult songs just at the top of your range. Sing loudly and also sing softly and quiet - vary the technique.

(3) Learn that you have to redevelop muscles you had as a chiild, and stopped using

(4) Try to talk soft and low at first when you find the range. Male and female range overlap in the male upper and female lower. Work to find and keep that.

(5) Practice in the car - but understand the road noise interferes a bit - taping can be good , but realize the quality of tape recorders vary

(5) Never give up. I had zero success for about two months

(6) Best advice? Listen to women talk. There is a singing quality and a beautiful uplift lilt at the end of sentences. There is also a very hard ennunciation - no slurring at all of any words, every part of the word is used, but the first part has a quiet treatment, and the last part is almost exaggerated =

ex-ADGE -er RATE -teddddtt!

Esses and Tees are especially women parts of speach, almost spit out.

(7) Use words and phrases women use - end with a question mark more often. Never make statements, always make suggestions? You think?

(8) Know women talk differently to men (more non-threatning) than with other women (conspiratory).

If you have the language code down pat, then your voice sound will not be noticed as much as long as it is softer and sort of in a feminine mode. Many women have naturally low or gruff voices. (That last set of sentences is presented 'masculine.")

You should probably try your best to keep to a feminine language code, and then your voice wouldn't matter so much? I have heard women who have really low or gruff voices, poor dears! (is this more feminine sounding?)

Hee hee

Lizzy

wow great advice, Thank You Lizzy!! I will start trying some of these and see how they work out for me as time goes by, any help I can get I am more then willing to do!

-Emily

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

I practice in my truck. I've got hours upon hours of just me so I sing, I practice, I vary the pitch to weird highs and lows for various accents and such.

From what my best friend told me, my voice has changed from when she first met me. There was a link in another thread for a series of voice lessons by a woman named Melanie I think? She's really good! Many of the things she mentioned about word choice and emphasis I do already without thinking about. Listening to talk radio hosted by a woman also helps a lot because you get hours of hearing a woman talk and you can try to emulate how she's speaking.

[Guest shanna_bana_1]

yes it's scary, even when you're alone, but you gotta cross that line. once you get used to practicing you're gonna want to do it all the time!

[Guest Cameron Michaels]

Yeah. Definately too nervous on working on my voice. I actually think if i could just fix my voice id pass sometimes. : ( but i feel like it wont happen. Ive never had good vocal range/control. and i smoke.