What Have I Done?

[Guest Mrs. Miniver]

Today is Mother's Day and here I am dressed and by myself. On such a day I would usually be at my Mother's house doing something for her to thank her for what she did for me, but now this is no more as she passed on a few years ago. The scary part of this, as I look into the mirror, is that I see my Mom. As I grow older it seems that I am gaining more of my mother's facial features than that of my Dad ( I inherited his loss of hair). What troubles me now is that I like my look the way it is. It has taken me a long time to get there, but now that I see my Mom in myself I question why? Is it because I purposely wanted to look like her or is it just the natural course of genetics? I struggle to answer the question. On the one hand I like the way I look, but on the other hand I wonder if I should change my appearance because it is an insult to the beautiful person she was.

[CharlotteW]

You're not your mom, but if you are happy looking more like her, that's very cool. If you're not, well, you have the right to change it. It's no disrespect to your mom. I'm sure wherever she is, she's happy that you're thinking of her, and glad you are still fond of her. Remember, a lot of how we perceive ourselves is in our head, so it could be all you. OTOH, it could be the way hormones play out: when I was a kid I looked so much like my mom it was scary, but as I grew up and got flooded with T, I began looking more like my dad. It's all good, though I hope HRT makes me look more like my mom cause my dad's stache just doesn't suit a woman very well!

[Guest Evan_J]

All children, male and female, trans and nontrans , have the genetic chance to look like either, both, or neither of their parents. I look like my dad, I've always looked like my dad, but peeps who have only seen my mother say "you look like her". Which is true? Either? Both? Neither? I think Charlotte gave a great answer; could be that there's a mental influence or could actually be physical due to genetics. Either way "its no sin" because you were her child. Who're you supposed to look like? The milkman?

I think actually your feelin has more to do with feeling guilty about being trans? Maybe wondering if she would be upset about that?

[Paula ult]

I sympathize with you, my mom died 4 years ago and when i got my first wig and looked in the mirror i kinda saw my mom staring back, I'm lucky i got most of her facial features, now i really don't mind if i resemble her.

Paula

[Sally]

You should consider yourself to be very lucky to resemble your mother.

If you hated your mother and tried to torture her, then you should feel bad for looking like her.

But you seem to have loved her and always treated her well, if she knew you as the wonderful woman that you are becoming, she would be proud to have you look like her.

Carry on her ways, you did something nice for her each year - must have been a reason, did she do a lot for others?

Then carry on that tradition and be a very good woman and she will be proud of you and glad that you look like her.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest leo]

id say its genetics

i look like my mum apparently but my bro looks like me but he looks like my dad!