hard time passing

[Alex-John]

Am having a very hard time passing as male am pre t and pre op  i bind and i have cut my hair short  the thing that the main problem is my body shape i have a Jenifer Lopez butt  witch i hate  and am obese i have been trying to lose weight  but getting no where  just became vegan for animals and the environmental  reasons   and i have lost a little  but i think it may come back on once i get use to the vegan food  i try to exercise  but i need help with it because i get very wobbly walking and doing  stretches and trying to change my body i have changed my full name and most of my family and friends know that i want to be called by that name  the only person who dont know or care is my mother who would call me by my birth name and calling me she as she is toxic and i found out through my flashbacks  that my mother had sexually abused me as a child  i have cut all contact with her and family  as i cant deal with her talking or being anywhere near me  she took a stroke  and i didn't  see her i wouldn't even go to her funeral  she nothing to me 

most strangers call me hen ( female term in scotland ) alright hen  most people in aa call me her or she  and yes i have told them am male but they still call me by those terms they will call me by new name as they didnt know my old name  but i am seen as female  mostly 

[Charlize]

Alexx you may find that being vegan will help you to continue loosing weight over time.  I lost a good bit of weight when i became a vegetarian well before transition.  I have only gained a little bit despite HRT.

Unfortunately many of us never completely pass but with time as we accept ourselves others usually do the same.

Give it time.  Hopefully it will improve.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Jani]

Alexx try focus on blending in rather than passing.  You really want to fit in with the crowd you identity with, whether they know of your past or not.  It all starts with us and how we look at and feel about ourselves.  When starting any type of exercise remember to take it slowly and be safe.  Even at 15 minutes a day.   This is a start and your can build from there. Remember the weight didn't appear in one week and it won't go away that soon either.  It's a long term commitment, similar to transition.  We do ebb and flow in our speed but keeping forward motion is the goal.  You can do it dude! 

Cheers, Jani

[ChickenLittle]

Hi there from a fellow vegan! I know firsthand how painful it can be not to pass and to constantly face people calling you "she" and "her." If you can find a few good friends who will use the right name and pronouns for you, it might help you feel a bit better-- this forum is really great for that too. And once you get on hormones (you said pre-T but I'm guessing that means you plan to see a doctor eventually about hormones) you'll see a lot of changes! Plus, I know trans guys who are heavy and they still look great and pass just fine. I know it's hard when you're so ready for the world to see you the way you want to be seen, but you'll get there. And if you want to swap vegan recipes let me know