Weird Dream

[Guest Javey]

I had this really weird dream the other day.

But before i went to sleep,

It had been a very stressful day, all kinds of stuff with my friend (who i posted about in the suicide prevention and self abuse forums) and her parents went down. Apparently i am the devil and am trying to steal her away. by the time i went to sleep, i felt like my face was melting from all the stress. Plus i had to get up the next morning and perform again. I was also contemplating sending my (Big LGBT activist) aunt an email, coming out to her. She lives 3 states away so i couldn't really meet up with her without a lot of work. It seemed like a good idea. I had already written out an email. It was just a matter of sending it. But i was still nervous. Even though i didn't need to be.

I fell asleep and thats when the weird dream kicked in. There i was at the theatre, talking to my friend. Not about her parents or anything, just chatting like normal. I walked in the dressing room to change out of my costume, but the clothes i had worn there in the dream (Black Ballet flats, my cast T-shirt, and a pair of pants that cut off at my shin - which isn't my usual dress style in the first place) were now vans skater shoes (something i wear already) slightly baggy jeans, and a band shirt. Okay, thats a little more my style. Except for the jeans, baggy jeans kinda bug me usually. But it caught my attention that my clothes had changed. I put them on, and glance at the mirror before i walk out. My hair was about 3 inches shorter then it is right now, and it was more of a boy-ish cut. Weird. I walk out and glance down at my feet, trying to figure out how my shoes had gotten switched when i noticed i had nails. Apparently someone had given me a (very nice) manicure without my knowledge. Then suddenly, memories flashed back of me going to a salon and getting my nails done. Usually i keep my nails short because i play guitar. Once in a while I'll paint them, but i don't really have the patients for that.

I can't remember what happened after that, but the next thing i DO remember is that me and my friend were walking in a park. I still was in the weird clothes and had the weird hair cut and the nails. She starts talking about her parents some, while i listen. Then i notice I have an odd amount of hair on my arms. Much more then i really have. As we are walking, my clothes seemed to magically change into these tighter light colored jeans and my band shirt into a white, floaty tank top. My shoes stayed the same. My hair changed back into a girls cut a little more, and the hair on my arms stayed. I was trying to figure out what was happening and why my friend didn't seem to notice the change. I still had the manicure, and for some reason the nails were really sticking out to me. But then, as we were still walking and i was still in the girly clothes, my face started to feel weird. I felt it with my hand, and i was growing a beard. Then i woke up.

Totally tripped me out. Trying to figure out if it might mean anything particular. I have a history of weird thoughts and idea's coming to me in my sleep.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Not an expert by any means. My guess is your mind was going through your 'androgyne' impressions file - doing a bit of houseeeping - mixing up a bunch of what you subconscieously consider clues to femaleness and maleness. Everything seemed to change and like Alice in Wonderland, got 'stranger and stranger," and you were the only one to notice.

Lizzy

[Guest DeniseNM]

Well I have no idea what it means Javey, it could mean any number of things or it could be like even Freud said once "Sometimes a dream is just a dream". Definately a unique dream though.

Denise

[Sally]

I wouldn't worry too much about its meaning, it does seem to tie in a lot of impressions of what is Androgyne?

You were very tired and thinking about coming out and your mind ran a lot of different stuff past you while you were trying to sleep.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest My_Genesis]

I had a dream about 1-2 years ago that I grew facial hair, and I was physically completely pre-transition like I am in RL. just started sprouting facial hair, and thought it was cool, and didn't care how many people were staring lol.

wasn't much else in terms of plot that went on in that dream.

It's funny that the more open I've become with myself about having a male identity, the less I have these types of dreams.