That pesky 5 o'clock...

[Lexi]

Hello ladies, 

 

  I'm curious how you're all dealing with this debilitating bodily function. Currently doing a primer, 1 spotted touch up or red lipstick on the darkest areas, 2 coats foundation, 1 matifying loose powder and a sealer but within a few hours it's all taken apart by that darn stubble... 

 

From what I hear electrolysis is well over a year of being any benefit. Any tips would be greatly appreciated. 

 

Lexi, 

  xoxo

[SugarMagnolia]

This probably isn't the answer you're looking for Lexi, but I had similar issues and while all the things you mention helped the only thing that's been super effective have been laser and electrolysis. 

Laser can be very effective in reducing the shadow and stubble if you have a dark (not silver, white or blonde) beard. I noticed significant reduction within a few months. Everyone's experience is different, though. 

 

Hugs,
Julie

[Jani]

Lexi I'm sorry to say there really isn't a good answer for this issue.  Their has got to go, sooner or later.  I just returned from my electrolysis appointment where we spoke about false advertising for laser being permanent.  My electrologist is on the state board.  For some people it does work well, others I know have had hair come back at some time (even years later).  It is an expensive treatment.  Electrolysis isn't cheap either but less per session that I see.  Maybe you can try Laser to get a jump on the shadow issue and start electrolysis as the new hairs come in.   Hair removal is a long process so its best to start sooner than later.

 

Unfortunately sometimes we use so much make up that we end up looking like Tammie Fay Baker.   This doesn't help with the dysphoria.   I ended up getting as close a shave a possible and using as light a coating of makeup as I could.  It helped a bit but it didn't cause another issue (too much makeup) for me to worry about.

 

Jani

[Kirsten]

Yep. No way around this one unfortunately. Laser or electrolosys. But in the meantime something that helps a little bit is how you shave. I shave with the grain first. With a disposable razor. A cheapish one. (I use bic 5 blade razors. $7 for 5) This gets 90%. Or even more. Then I use a more expensive 5 blade razor against the grain. And it’s gotta be brand new or almost brand new. I get maybe 3 shaves out of a Gillette fusion blade. Thus the reason I only do a tight shave like that on Saturday morning or a special occasion another day.  It gets pricey at 18 dollars for 4 of them.  Plus your skin needs a real rest after this type of shave. I’ll usually get about 24-36 hours of decent hair free looking face. And a good face regimen will help. Cleaners, lotions, etc.... healthy skin looks smoother and more feminine even with a touch of stubble. 

 

For makeup i used to do a light orange eye shadow to reverse the blue hue and then foundation, concealer, and powder on that. But it makes for a cakey look to me. 

Now I just deal with it on stubbley days. Shave as good as I can and not worry as much. Like with all of this, other than a few misled uneducated morons, people don’t seem to care what you look like. As long as you’re comfortable. 

Kirsten

[Lexi]

Thank you ladies, 

 

  The knowledge that I am doing everything I can until electrolysis kicks in gives some solace. Luckily I'm getting better with makeup! 

 

Shaving with, across, then against the grain, then moisturizer, makeup and teardown really does a number of the skin. I made it 4 days once before my face just couldn't take another round. 

 

Curious though - how long do your electrolysis sessions last? I pay about $100 per 20min session. They do whole face but seems a bit steep for 20mins.

[SugarMagnolia]

I'm really lucky. I found a certified electrologist nearby who I adore and it's only $65 for an hour. It will probably be 1.5-2 years before I'm done, though.

[Lexi]

Do they spend the entire hour on your face? My electrologist does one quick pass everywhere, puts aloe and done.. Usually doesn't even take the full 20mins lol

[SugarMagnolia]

Yep, one hour on my face. I have a lot of light hair that laser didn't get rid of. I've only had 4 or 5 appointments so far and we're mainly thinning things out, so nowhere close to being able to clear everything in one session. 

If you can do 20 mins and get everything, that's awesome!

[Martyn]

Hi SugarMagnolia

I’ve had 5 laser sessions on my face, it’s almost eliminated the dark hairs with exception to my upper lip, still have lots of white hairs on my cheeks and jaw line so I guess electrolysis the next stage. I’ve not had it done before but do they zap each individual hair? If so an hour doesn’t seem long enough? 

[Kirsten]

What does everyone reccomend? Laser first then electrolosys? Or just electrolosys?  Seems like everyone ends up there eventually. I really want to start that but I’m not sure which way to go. I have local options for both through Groupon too. 

6 laser for 300 for full face 

2 30min electrolosys sessions 42 dollars. 

I just don’t know what to do. 

[SugarMagnolia]

@Kirsten I don't think there's one perfect way for everyone. I've been happy doing laser then electrolysis. The laser eliminated a lot of my shadow dysphoria and made it manageable. Doesn't work for all, though, and it's expensive. I'm not sure I would have been patient enough to do only electrolysis. ?

 

@Martyn With electrolysis they need to do each hair individually. My electrologist doesn't like to concentrate on all of the hairs in one area. She feels that is more likely to lead to "pitting" and that it's harder on your skin. So, she's working on a few areas around the mouth and thinning those out. Eventually, she'll be able to clear everything in one go, but that's going to take a while since we have a lot to get rid of. I'd say she can do 5% of my face per session?

 

[Martyn]

Thank you Julie, you’ve made some valid points it seems. Like everything in this whole journey, it takes time and lots of patience, I’m sure we’ll all get there in the end, I’m looking forward to having nice girlie looking skin on my face tho, well everywhere actually :0) 

[jae bear]

 Hey Lexi, 

This may not be the answer you’re looking for but the electrolysis is going to be the best answer if you had anything but a dark black beard. If you have dark black beard hairs go laser. I do know that my medical insurance through Kaiser covers electrolysis and I only pay a $55 co-pay every time I go once a week, I’m in the electrocutioners chair For two or three hours every session, but it’s going to take one to two years to clear the dysphoria inducing stuble no matter what I look at.  Here is my answer to all of this, a close shave and a light pat of cover girl powder, That’s it. Does this cover everything up, no, but for me that’s not the point I just want my skin tone to be a little more uniform, the stuble is just part of my year of androgyny, it’s best for me to accept the idea that transition is tough, and I’m so glad I decided to do what I want to do rather than worry about the rest of the world.  I do remember hearing these exact words from other girls long ago, and I just couldn’t understand it as I felt I had no power of my own to be as courageous as these wonderful women, wow, I’m glad I was wrong!

 Hugs, 

 Jackie 

[Jani]

1 hour ago, Lexi said:

Do they spend the entire hour on your face? My electrologist does one quick pass everywhere, puts aloe and done.. Usually doesn't even take the full 20mins lol

I go for two hour sessions and she works straight through which is enough to mostly clear it.  Each week has been noticeably less and less.   Mine bounces around all over my face and neck so to not cause too much skin damage in a specific area.

 

16 minutes ago, Kirsten said:

Laser first then electrolosys? Or just electrolosys?

If you have enough dark hair for laser to work, start with that to thin things out, then jump into electrolysis.  This will get rid of some of the shadow.

 

Jani

[Terry]

On 8/2/2018 at 7:18 PM, Kirsten said:

Then I use a more expensive 5 blade razor against the grain. And it’s gotta be brand new or almost brand new. I get maybe 3 shaves out of a Gillette fusion blade. Thus the reason I only do a tight shave like that on Saturday morning or a special occasion another day.  It gets pricey at 18 dollars for 4 of them.  Plus your skin needs a real rest after this type of shave.

 

You've listed several of the reasons why cartridge razors are not even close to what the advertising promises. I've found a good old-fashioned safety razor to give a much, much closer shave. The blades are ridiculously cheap (I think I paid 30 pennies per blade for the ones I'm using) and last several shaves. And all those nasty skin reactions I got with cartridge razors are completely gone. It takes a bit of learning, but it's absolutely worth it.

[Lexi]

@Terry thank you sooo much you're a life saver!! I picked up a safety razor kit the other day. Not only is it the closest shave I've ever experienced but also the most painless and long lasting. I actually went out with no makeup. Next I'll try it on the legs. Thx again! xoxo

[Terry]

Glad to hear that @Lexi! It's a great experience when a razor actually cuts the hairs rather than dragging them out, right? Wouldn't want to go back to cartridge razors for anything in the world...

[AsTheCrow]

Welp, it looks like it's time for me to try safety razors! Thanks for the heads up!

[jae bear]

Huh...  I have a safety razor I got for Christmas that I’ve never even opened, it never occurred to me that it would be a better shave, I am absolutely going to try this !

 Hugs, 

Jackie

[AsTheCrow]

Shaving my face is such a catch-22 for me. I want my face nice and smooth, but the ritual and trappings of face shaving are such a masculine minefield that I don't want to do it!

 

It makes me feel like my grandfather, shaving with a brush and safety razor, smoking a pipe and drinking scotch. This is of course a fabrication; my grandfather used an electric Norelco his whole life, never smoked, and only drank black coffee. Still, the image persists and is offputting.

 

But if it gets my face nice and smooth it is WORTH IT.

[jae bear]

 OK, I just got out my safety razor put in the blade and gave it a go ... I do think this is better than my five blade fusion, and it didn’t tear up my face going against the grain nearly as bad as the cartridge razor. In fact it was very smooth and I pulled and tugged and puffed up my lip then went over it with far more passes than I ever would with the cartridge razor and I didn’t get any razor burns.  I am thoroughly impressed with this razor !

 Hugs, 

 Jackie 

[jae bear]

Well, before I left my apartment I carried that little safety razor into my shower, and it works pretty good on legs too, I can’t tell if it’s better than the cartridge type but I was able to shave in places I wouldn’t dare shave before, and the Short handle makes it a lot easier to manipulate, I think this is going to be my go to razor now, it’s easy to keep clean too. I haven’t had any trouble with it clogging up, I just pop the top off and rinse it out and close it back up and keep going...  how did I not know that these little safety razors were so good? 

 Hugs, 

 Jackie 

[Terry]

Until a few months ago I didn't know either. It's probably not a big surprise, given that the producers of cartridge razors spend millions or even billions on marketing, whereas safety razors are barely visible these days.

 

Interesting to hear that they work on the legs too. Everything I've found about them on the internet was about shaving the face.

 

There's another thing that I do that I think helps a lot - I foam up my own lather with a brush, using a shaving cream with a few drops of hot water. It gives the whole thing an even more nostalgic touch, but the quality of the lather is much better. Whatever comes out of aerosol cans just can't give the support to the little hairs that a proper lather gives. That's really important especially when it comes to shaving against the grain - you can only properly cut the hair if it stays in its place. If the foam doesn't give enough support, you end up tearing it out, even with a good razor, although the sharp blade makes this a bit less likely.

[jae bear]

 The one thing I did notice the day after using the safety razor, is that while it was very easy on my face while shaving I think I over did it trying to get a close shave since it gave me the illusion of not bothering my face. I definitely irritated my face by attempting to shave to aggressively against the grain, a cartridge razor Would have bothered me immediately and it would’ve been much more careful and sparing with the  against the grain shaving... It’s really my fault not the razors fault, I lulled myself into a false sense of security since it felt so smooth.  I would just caution a little extra care, since the safety razor feels so much smoother than a cartridge razor, I guess knowing your limits is important.  I also noticed that exercising proper blade angle makes a big difference when using a safety razor, not hard to do just something you need to be aware of. I thought I did a really good job on my legs and I didn’t spend much time on that chore as I was just looking for a cleanup, I used it on my chest as well but there is very little there so it’s hard to tell what it did,  it did feel smooth though, so I believe it worked!  I guess the moral of the story here is just be careful with a safety razor as it feels better in use than a cartridge razor ...

I have to agree with you Terry, I usually Splash water on my face and use a small amount of shaving gel, and I wipe it around to get some lather on my face,  this seems to produce a much better shave probably for the reasons you have cited. I really appreciate the advice everyone has provided here it’s been an eye-opening experience !

 Hugs, 

Jackie

[Terry]

7 minutes ago, jae bear said:

I definitely irritated my face by attempting to shave to aggressively against the grain, a cartridge razor Would have bothered me immediately and it would’ve been much more careful and sparing with the  against the grain shaving...

 

Now I'm wondering how exactly you did it? Did you always lather up before going over it again? I found that you need to be very disciplined. This means to do only very short strokes, then rinse the razor, then move to the next bit and ignore remaining stubble on the area you've just done for the moment. Once you've finished a complete round you lather up your face again (I do it with a brush) and do one short stroke at a time. And the whole thing usually takes several rounds. I typically end up doing a few extra rounds on the chin and upper lip.

 

There's a lot of good tips on this site, in particular things like this guide on how to shave with a safety razor. It's clearly targeted at a typical male audience, sometimes annoyingly so, but the advice is excellent. Almost everything I've figured out was by following their tips.