How To Tell My Friend

[Guest Angelgrlsue]

Ok, I'm not sure how to go about telling my best friend that I am really a woman. I've been hiding this from him for a long time and it is time for me to tell him. My therapist even has suggested I tell him rather than keeping it a secret. I will be seeing him this Friday and so I was thinking maybe I can email him first and tell him and let it sink in for awhile and then when I see him on Friday see what his response is. Any suggestions?

[Paula ult]

I told my best friend in person, when i did it i was my old usual self because i didn't want to shock her. In person makes it easier to answer questions. Make it short and sweet, don't overload him with too much information or technical terms he probably won't understand.

HUGS!

Paula

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hi Suzie,

Do you think that your friend suspects that you are gay? I only ask this because to date, everyone that I have come out to already suspected that I was gay and so me saying that I am transgendered really meant very little to them and just confirmed in their minds that I was gay (darn). Don't be surprised that your friend does not understand the distinction between homosexuality and transsexuality. Most people do not understand the difference. All, I can really offer to you is that timing is everything! Coming out to your friend, ideally, should not be forced. Just let it flow. If your friend only knows you as "one" way and has never experienced yourself as yourself (at least partially) than that could be a shock to your friend. I do not know your friend and I do not know how close you are. You know best what to say and when to say it. Trust yourself.

When the time is right you will know.

LOL

bernii

[Sally]

Hey Sis,

I think that you would be better off telling him in person, the E-mail is so easy, type it, push send - it's done - for someone that doesn't really matter that much it's fine, but it is so impersonal.

Try to remember that becoming yourself is a good thing and don't focus on the negative side - he'll have plenty of questions on that as well.

Good luck, I hope he takes your revelation well.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Angelgrlsue]

Bernii

No he does not suspect that I am gay. He is pretty understanding so I should not have any problem in telling him and having him accept it. It is best to tell him in person. Your right Sally it can be inpersonable to just email him. Wish me luck this week when I reveal Suzie to him. Thanks girls for your advice. :-)

Hugs,

Suzie

[Guest mia 1]

I told my two best friends and they didn't blink an eye one was from 4th grade on and the other has been my friend since my freshman year in college,,believe me if they are truly friends it doesn't matter one wit....Mia

OBTW good luck and I'll bet everything will go just fine..........Congrats and have fun and then buy him a beer or an adult beverage of his choice......

[Sally]

Good luck, Suzie and have a great big HUGG from your big sis.

Things will go great, he has to be happy for you.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Angelgrlsue]

Thank you girls. :-) Big hugs to all of you. It is going to be sooner than Friday. I will be seeing him tommorrow, change in plans is all. Will be seeing him after my therapy session. I know I have nothing to worry about, he is a pretty understanding guy and will probably give me a surprised look, chuckle and think nothing of it.

[Guest Angelgrlsue]

Well the coming out to my friend party is being postponed. He will not be home today so will have to wait until next week to see him. He lives about an hour away from where I live. No hurry in telling him anyways. Thank you for your support girls.

[Guest Sophie H]

I think telling him in person is probably the best decision, but also the hardest. It's hard to advise without knowing much about this person. I think if it were me about to receive the news I would prefer and email to break the ice, but then I always take the easy way out of everything

[Guest amie]

I've had great luck thus far but have been rather selective in whom I've confided in, save one time, where I was outed by another tranzfriend of mine to a girlfriend that I had well on the backburner in terms of comin' out to.

But much to my good fortune, she hasn't treated me any differently...and it's as if nothing ever happened actually.

I know that's rather inderect and vague, but hope I helped to a degree, anyway.

[Guest 1charlotte1]

I think u should definately tell em in person! Good luck! And telling anyone who cares about u is 110% worth it!

Hugz, Charlotte

[Guest Angelgrlsue]

Ok everyone. Woohoooooo!!!!!! I told my friend this past Friday, Finally! Lol. I told just before my therapy session in case he did not take it well I would get some good therapy. Good timing I would say. :-) Anyhow..I just sat down with him at the dining room table and told him "Do you remember that big secret I was going to tell you?". he said "yes". Well I just went for it. Don't like beating around the bush I just said "I'm transgendered". He had a bit of a schocked look on his face at first but then more at ease when I explained more about what I was feeling inside and for how long. He is a bit confused about the difference between homosexuality and transgenderism. I tried explaining it to him a couple of times but he still wants more information about it. I offered for him to go with me to my next transgender support meeting this month and that he can ask as many questions as he likes there. He accepted my invitation.

Wanted to know if I was going to have the surgery and I said I was not sure at this time since I am unable to afford it. I did tell him I will be going on hormones soon and probably will start to grow female breasts. My therapist forwarded me some information for him as well for him to read. I've also sent him the link to Laura's Playground if he would like to know more and recieve some support.

Have not lost my friendship to him and I am glad for that. Was worried a little that he might not take it so well.

Hugs,

Suzie

[Sally]

Hey, Suzie.

I am so happy for you.

If he is going to attend a transgendered support meeting he has already accepted you and wants to understand it better.

He must be a very good friend and a very special person.

Best of luck to you, Little Sis.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Good results - so good for you to have that kind of friend.

For other's reading this I wanted to suggest something. When my sisters were coming to see me (was not out to them) and i was emailing them, I suggested they look up gender dysphoria in Wikipedia, at the sign off. I waited for an email or a telephone call. It came three days later. My wife outed me to them on the telephone (I was taking a nap). It worked as they came over (from another state) a few days later. This might be a good way to talk to your more distant friends and relatives.

Lizzy

[Guest Pól]

That's excellent, Suzie! You might try sending him some things to read also. I have a feeling that a meeting like that could be pretty intimidating to someone who's not completely used to the idea to begin with, but I've never been so I'm hypothesizing here.

Pól

[Guest angie]

My sisters could not will not and do not support or accept me.

After two years in transition,twenty one months living woman,

I would hope they at least would come over to see me...Not gonna happen.

One day when they do see me,all they will see is a woman,with little left of

the brother that was.

I know my best friend,the only man I have left of my past life,fully accepts.

When he first saw Ms Angelique,he said the change was so stunning,it took

him awhile to process.And that was only six months into my journey.

He told me that every decision,every job,every move,must have come with

her having a say.I hadn't thought about it that way.But he was absolutely right.

Angie

[Guest Ashlee]

Oh Suzie,

What GREAT news!

I'm soo happy for you.

{HUGS}

Ashlee