Biograph Girl

[Casi]

Hi, I am Casi, and I've title this biography journal because it reminded me of being ''pollyanna' - something which is part of my transition, being really excited and carefree as a female in contrast to my abandoned male nature.

 

Here is a picture from the actress who played the part in the 1920's, and was also called a 'biograph girl', namely Mary Pickford. I couldn't insert a picture this time, but it might be attached.

 

I figure this will do as my introduction as well, so hello. I am middle age with a wife, and have not come out yet. It's not quite that simple though, for my wife seems to know and not in any small part because I've been wearing items of her clothing now around the house for about 6 months. The excuses vary, but it is mostly because they help me correct my posture. Female clothes just happen to fit best for this, as I have been wearing a tuck all day everyday for about 8 months now to that end. All in all, it is like my secret language for actually feminizing my posture and erasing my male past in body and mind.

 

I also have been collecting her old clothes and they are nearly outnumbering my own. These things help me since I am doing it on the down low, but now I am throwing caution into the wind and starting to show in public. Most recently I am wearing sports bras (the un-padded type) under my male outside clothes and I know it is pressing through from time to time. It seems to excite me that strangers 'seemingly' are noticing. Either way it is fun.

 

So my wife does not really like the 'in your face' transition stuff, but she is fine with the concept and has worked with trans-gendered people before.  And while we have not talked about it, she must know. I have borrowed items of clothing which she has never seen me wear for example, because they are really feminine. Most likely the biggest thing though is my behavior around the house is becoming overtly feminine. I have had quite a bit of time alone at home to flirt and float around in heels and skirts, so some of that is starting to wear through in normal daily conduct.

 

I am here, because I want this to replace that. My present to be my future and my past to be my herstory. Thanks for reading!

 

 

 

[Charlize]

Welcome Casi.  I loved the Disney film Pollyanna with Haily Mills as the star.  I so wanted to be her at that time.  Being here has helped me find that happiness.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Cyndee]

Hi Casi, and welcome to Trans Pulse forums. I hope you enjoy your time with us here. Your story has many familiar themes. The hiding, the desire to express one's self, the questioning, the resolution. I hope you find that space within your family and you can move forward.

 

Do enjoy yourself, and post away as the mood strikes ya

 

Hugs

 

Cyndi -