Strange thing happened at work, outed or ???

[KymmieL]

A couple weeks ago. during a slow time. The three of us working where just BS like normal. One of my Co workers. Started to mention about the company policy of having our work shirts tucked in. The other says, that he had had his shirt un-tucked. My counter part, the other Asst manager told him to tuck in his shirt tails. Jokingly He told her he was presenting as a woman. She said told him, ah uh no dice tuck in your shirt. Company policy says females wearing the camp shirt can leave them un-tucked.  While he was retelling the story he was looking towards me.

I don't know if he was referring to me as presenting. I'm only out to my counselors. No one else. 

At times I have worn string, and racer back tank tops, a body suit, and a couple times a bra. I try to wear a t-shirt between it and my work shirt to prevent detection. I have been to the store off work in shorts and I shave from Nose to toes. Not that uncommon in this day and age. While I have never been called out on my smooth legs. Has he noticed the straps and bare legs and put 2+2 together. Has he not heard the tinkle sound when I use the rest room. While I sit to pee, I have been doing this even before my revaluation. I have been mostly sitting to pee for 20 yrs. Since I got a PA piercing and can make a mess if I stand. Don't know if the bathroom walls at work are that thin, I never really listened. LOL.

Later that evening I was in the office looking for any policy about transgender. nothing specific.   I had open a page on harassment, he walked by and noticed. He commented, Have you been harassed. I laughed it off saying as a manager I need to be aware of our policies on various things. Just happened to have the harassment policy open. If he suspects, did having the harassment policy open cause more suspicion?

Coincidence or has he some how seen or figured me out. which is  amazing as my wife of 33 years has yet to. She is close though, LOL. I do remember in the past he had some negative opinions of the transgender. 

While I am only mildly concerned about 2%. It was just strange.

 

Kymmie

 

 

[Jani]

Well as the old saying goes, we're the last to know.  Many folks here have noted that others seemed to know or actually did know before they came out.  We're not always the best at hiding things.  

 

Good call on needing to be up on policies.  I remember going from supervisor to manager there were a whole set of new things I needed to understand.   OTOH, he may very well think something since you have long hair and you no longer have a beard.  Its either transition or mid life crisis!  

 

When you move certain ways the straps of undergarments do show through the tee shirts and button down shirts.  I had long before switched to wearing A-shirts (wife b@@ter type) rather than tee shirts as they were tighter fitting and  more comfortable.   I suppose they gave be cover as well in case someone put their arm on my shoulder.  

 

Bottom line, you are getting closer to needing to tell the truth it seems.  

 

Jani 

[KymmieL]

Have you bee peeking at me. ? Yes. I have been letting my hair grow out along with my nails. He may have noticed that most of my jeans are ladies. Who really knows.

 

I thought transitioning was a mid-life crisis, for some. Unfortunately my company doesn't have specific policies addressing the transgendered. Kind of what I was looking for. I may just call HR if and when I decided to transition.

 

Kymmie

[Adaline]

Dear Kymmiel,

 

From my experience, most people are not that observant.  I was outed at my last job, not because of what I was wearing or doing, but because of my internet search’s on the company computer.  I had been wearing a bra, at times a corset, carrying a purse (kind of a gender neutral one but still a purse) growing my nails longer, and even polishing my nails with a clear coat and still everyone was surprised when I was outed.   

 

I’m thinking that if your wife doesn’t know I’m not sure if a coworker would know.  In any event, it would be best to tell your wife before someone else does.  Believe me, it’s not the easiest conversation as it is, but when you are helping her understand, while at the same time conducting damage control with friends and employers, it really adds to the stress on the relationship.

 

i have not come out in my new job, but again I’m super surprised that others hove not noticed. Like before, I’m doing many of the same things (except I’m careful with the internet) and even more.  I’m 6 months on HRT and some of the changes are getting really noticeable.   I think my manager may suspect but I thought that in the past.  Part of me really hopes that others will notice, I hate having to hide my true self and wear the boy mask, but it’s important that I do it right and that means talking to HR first.  My company doesn’t have a specific policy on trans personal but they pride themselves on their open and diverse work environment.  This would be a chance for them to showcase their acceptance.  The big hang up is that I work around children and parents are not as open minded.   

 

You are on the right track by talking to a therapist. They will help you sort some of this out and prepare you for the next step.

 

Hugs 

Adaline