Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Susan R]

19 hours ago, KayC said:

For my wife the best thing I was able to do was just let her work it out on her own for a bit.

@Mmindy I am very sorry this whole thing went sideways on you. I’m a little shocked and disappointed. As KayC pointed out, it may help to let her work it out and think things over by herself initially. Time is on your side. If she realizes that your relationship as companions together isn’t going to change immediately, there’s a good chance you two can come to an understanding and possible compromise. Reassuring her that your love for her will not change and that you want to figure things out with her may be helpful.

 

Communication is going to be so important when she sits down at the table to discuss things...it will happen eventually. It’s going to be tough though and words may be spoken that she may not mean...just be prepared as best you can.  Take insults, ultimatums, illogical suggestions and anything out of character for her with a grain of salt. But whatever you do, try to keep that line of communication open if at all possible.  I have always believed it’s one of the best defenses one has to protect their marriage. I hope things will improve for you two.

 

My Best,

Susan R?

[KathrynnCox]

Well morning coffee was excellent despite being on roughly 2hrs of sleep. The kiddos are up and having fun, I’ll mow the lawn in a bit, and the kids should be able to play in the sprinkler today. 
 

last night was a whirlwind but wonderful. My wife found out about “Geode” nails and wants to try them with her stash (we sell a brand of nail strip that has the initials CS, this is not a branded post). Well I saw how they were done and immediately thought about how it’s like a faux patina paint on a car. So I came out with a set of colors and the wife said I could do my nails to try the project. I made sure she was ok, answered no to the standard “Will this make you want to be a girl?” and “If you do this are you getting a sex change and leaving me?” questions that are always asked, and got to paint my nails. 
 

When the base layer was done my wife looked over, laughed, and said “See, that could be a guy color (it was metallic grey), you can wear that stuff if you want”. I was floored. I just got the OK to paint my nails!!!

I let the wife sleep in this morning because she’s also exhausted. Doing my best to be a happy, calm, loving partner to her and a happy, calm, loving parent to the kids. Show her the mood change when I’m dolled up. 

 

[Patti Anne]

On 6/5/2020 at 4:55 AM, Mmindy said:

Coffee was sad and lonely this morning. Suzie did not react well at my coming out to her as Transgender MtF last night.

 

I'm sorry Mindy. Coming out to a spouse is a risky endeavor. If they embrace it, perfect. If not, and they're strongly opposed, it's catastrophic initially but can  sometimes turn itself around. 

 

I'm in the process of coming out now, but I'm not married and that makes a huge difference. I probably wouldn't have come out if I were still married

 

Best of luck, Patti  

[Tori M]

17 hours ago, MikaReich said:

My life as Mika better,my new girlfriend being supportive of my crossdressing  part time.We plan on doing some shopping tomorrow,knows a place I would love to shop at.Seen my wardrobe,said I have more shoes than her.Been going great since she met me dressed as Mika on Wendsday night for the first time.Found out her mom wants to meet Mika as well

 

Well, that is just... just... just so f'n incredibly fantastically super wonderful!!!!  You have found someone that wants ALL of you, the real you, unconditionally!  Do you know just how rare that is for anyone?!  Not just for us different folks, but for anyone?!  You must be doing something right, Mika.  Keep it up and hang on to that girl!

[MikaReich]

2 hours ago, Tori M said:

 

Well, that is just... just... just so f'n incredibly fantastically super wonderful!!!!  You have found someone that wants ALL of you, the real you, unconditionally!  Do you know just how rare that is for anyone?!  Not just for us different folks, but for anyone?!  You must be doing something right, Mika.  Keep it up and hang on to that girl!

Going to keep it up and we both went through a lot.It was her exes cheating on her and non supportive exes with me.Her name is Vanessa and she already knows me now.Went shopping,bought me a pair of nice wedges and a pair of heels,figured out I love shoes as Mika.After my divorce,I watched a youtube video on Heidi Phox's channel and realized what I did wrong.Told both of my ex wives in the marriage I am a part time crossdresser during the marriage,should of told them right away,    

 

[Susan R]

2 hours ago, MikaReich said:

After my divorce,I watched a youtube video on Heidi Phox's channel and realized what I did wrong.

I watched the Heidi Phox video. I agree with her main point...and imho, success of a marriage is not guaranteed but the lack of open communication [and honesty] lowers it’s chance of success. She mentioned it’s better to be upfront with your spouse about being trans, if at all possible.  I think in theory it makes total sense.  For my specific situation, I doubt my wife would’ve been able to handle it back then...22 years ago.  It was such a different world in the 90’s in regards to society’s understanding of gender. We still have quite a long way to go.

[KymmieL]

Hey everybody. Just sitting here at home waiting for my dinner to finish. Thankfully today was better than yesterday. the dysphoria was major. Now I am board out of my mind. What little I have left of it. I swear I am losing it more and more each day. Heck yesterday I thought I was having a breakdown or something. Luckily the short ride I took was nice. and calming. 

I am so tempted to just pack some stuff and get on the bike. Just go. just leave, leave everything. But darn it all anyway. I am too fraking responsible to my job to my family. Who are going to leave me anyway once they find out I cannot stop my transition. and am moving ever so slowly forward.

 

Kymmie

[KymmieL]

Well the ol gray matter is at warp speed again. I need to find a way to turn it off. With my wife and youngest son visiting my oldest son and family. I know that I was just being silly. but I had expected a call from my wife of 35 yrs.I did get a text yesterday and earlier today saying she loved me. Yet, she could bother to pick up the phone and talk to me.

 

I wonder what crap is being cooked up between the 4 of them to make my life more miserable. I am getting so close to just hitting the road. not looking back. Signing my 71 wagon over to my grandsons. Well friends I am heading off to bed. Maybe I'll get lucky and die in my sleep. Then this crap would end. Not I am not going to take my life.Not going to make my wife happy.

 

Hugs

Kymmie

[Jackie C.]

6 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Maybe I'll get lucky and die in my sleep.

 

Oh boy, I've been there. I have to say though, that would be a shame for your story to be over just as you're getting to know the real you. I know unsupportive family members are eating at your confidence but being out as yourself is just... You need to live it. Finally being yourself and comfortable in your own skin is amazing. You don't want to deny yourself the experience.

 

Like they say, "Haters gonna hate." We have too much hate in the world right now. Well, in general, but especially right now. Love yourself instead. Then go ahead and keep loving yourself and maybe the haters in your family will realize how stupid they're being. Even if they don't, being able to love yourself is the best therapy you'll ever have.

 

I re-read that and realized what it sounded like. Don't... well, I guess you can if you feel the urge, but that's not what I meant... love yourself like THAT. Nobody needs to see that. ?

 

Hugs!

[MikaReich]

My parents bringing something up lately and I took it well.Both asked if I was genderfluid as well and told them yes.It has been good for me that I like being my guy side and then as Mika at times.They still accept it.Been starting to open out more to my new girlfriend about myself since she met Mika for the first time.During our shopping yesterday she did bring up the issue of me being gender fluid as well too,I did tell her yes on this.I do have times I dress as Mika after coming home from doing my job.

[KathyLauren]

Sunday morning means espresso coffee and black current jam (from home-grown berries) on my toast.  YUM!!

 

It's a cool, gray, drizzly day.  I had to make a fire to warm up the house.  Darn it, it's supposed to be June. 

 

If it warms up and dries up a bit, I'll finish my fence demolition project.  It's nice to be able to see into the woods now.  I'm trying to take it easy.  The heavy work on the fence earlier this week was hard on my recovering private parts.  The swelling is going down, but only if I don't overdo things.

[KathrynnCox]

Today is going to be a good day. I’m on the deck with the kids this morning. I’m very happy because the wife let me paint my nails. She’s unaware of why I want to paint them, but she let me do it for an art project. 
 

So my wife found this trend called “Geode Nails” where you layer on a ton of polish and then send it away to reveal the layers and make it look like a Geode. Well fun fact, that’s the same way you creat a fake aged (patina) look on a car. So I asked if I could do my nails for a patina project and the wife approved. I’m very happy with the results but a little upset internally that the look cost me the beautiful rich nails I had yesterday. Oh well. 
 

So without further ado, I present to you “Katie’s Faux-Tina Man Nails”. They are styled off of my beloved Mustang for coloration. 
 

 

[KathrynnCox]

Faux-Tina Nails

 

 

[Tori M]

15 hours ago, KymmieL said:

I am too fraking responsible to my job to my family.

 

This is SO hard!  I've been there so many times in my life.  There's no way to rationalize it.  Nothing to do but push it down and move on.  It SUCKS!  I'm so sorry you're suffering Kymmie.  Keep taking those rides or doing something for yourself.  The brain needs downtime to process.

[MikaReich]

Bought stock left from another independent tool dealer that retired recently.I know him very well and gave me a great deal on it,knew to leave room for profits off of everything knowing I am going to resell it.Good guy and if I needed something,he had it selling it to me knowing I didn't have it in stock for a customer

[Tori M]

@MikaReich, please forgive me for I myself find this shallow and embarrassing to admit.  I would never in my life have ever suspected that any of the tool salesmen I ever met had any issues with their gender.  They're always such rib-elbowing, dirty-joke-telling MEN.  How do you do it?!  Nevermind, I'm not really asking... it just surprises me, I guess.  I don't know why I'm even saying this.  I do understand how hard it must be on a daily basis.  I could never "fake it" that good!  That's partly why I chose to work in the healthcare arena; slightly less threatening.

 

In the computer tech world, I did meet a couple of people that were pretty obvious to me.  There was the IBM printer service "lady", who presented as quite masculine.  Then there was a software applications specialist who was obviously (to me) secretly in the trans spectrum or at least gay.  In both instances I tried subtly to let them know I was like them, an ally at least.  But neither of them responded to the opening.  I think either I scared them or they were just too scared of risking their livelihood in front of customers.  Those encounters make me sad about just how judgmental and imposing our culture can be to those of us who are "different".

[KymmieL]

Tori,

You are correct that most tool guys are just that guys. but I guess Mika proved us wrong. I have drooled in a tool truck more than a few times in my life time. All the neat new toys.

I think that my faking it. was just me not knowing I am trans. That revelation came about 3 yrs ago. When I finally put 2 and 2 together and came up with 6, or something like that.

 

Well now just waiting for my wife and youngest to get home from visiting my older two sons. I am almost expecting them to gang up on me about my transition. I hope I am wrong.  Left work early. Got all the window motors fixed in my wifes car. In a bit I may work on the video system in my crown vic. or maybe the amp. or the tweeter pods on the bike. Just needing to keep busy.

 

 

Kymmie

 

[MikaReich]

I do it as  my male side,my customers know about Mika and they have been good to me about it.They know everyone is not the same in a good way

[Tori M]

1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

When I finally put 2 and 2 together and came up with 6, or something like that.

 

That sounds about right.  For us.  ?

[Willow]

I feel bad that so many friends here are having bad weekends and spouse issues.  I will say that I’ve been there too.  Cursing, crying, “we are done” and everything else.  I have  made progress slowly but never given up.  My wife tried to play on my conservatism hoping to embarrass me out of it.  That actually worked against her, it emboldened me.  The only thing I can add is be patient, don’t give up and DON’T do anything to try to hurt yourself or others.  It doesn’t solve anything for anyone.  If you are in that predicament, call someone and get help.

 

i can’t predict how things will go in the long run but patients, patients and more patients.  Lots of people have given me that advice and it’s really good advice.  Oh, and until my therapist worked with me, I didn’t know how to communicate with my wife,  pretty sad for being married as long as we have.  Now I communicate and that helps.

 

Willow

[ShawnaLeigh]

Well ladies (and gentlemen) I have been getting it done this week/weekend.  Packing is going well and sell of the hobbies of Shawn even better.  I've made almost $8600 selling hunting stuff and weapons.  I still have more to go.  Lots more but what does not sell gets packed and heads to Oregon too.

Back to work tomorrow after my 2 weeks off for surgery recovery.  I feel sort of crumby putting in my 2 weeks notice right after being off for two weeks but you do whatcha gotta do right? Two more weeks and I'm done work, then Patti flies in the next day and we hit the road that Monday.

I am trying to stay focused and stay busy because if I start to think about all I am leaving behind in VT I will break down crying.  

Putting a whole life to rest to start a new one comes with as much pain for the old as excitement for the new.  Its going to be hard I know.  But Patti Anne will be with me to hold my hand, be there for me in silence if need be, and share with me my last moments with my family and friends.  

 

 

 

[Guest]

Hope everyone  well and doing good and are safe . Have a nice  week  my friends  hugs 

[Emily michelle]

I could only imagine how hard it has been to close one life and start another. This new life and adventure seems like the right thing to do. I wish nothing but the best for you Shawna and Pattie Anne. 
 

This weekend turned out great. Friday my wife had a successful Egg retrieval so we can continue with the ivf. Spent sometime Saturday afternoon down at the river with our neighbors and there kids. They saw my painted toenails and I wore a women’s shirt and they didn’t say a word about it so I was happy. Then today my wife and I went for a bike ride on a new trail we found. I’m hooked on cycling now lol. Too bad it’s an expensive hobby lol.

[Susan R]

52 minutes ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

Putting a whole life to rest to start a new one comes with as much pain for the old as excitement for the new.  Its going to be hard I know.

This is an exciting change for sure. This situation you’re in is similar to mine in the late 90’s for me when I moved my current wife up here from CA. Lots of change but very worth it. Focus on new and let go of the old as much as you can. Sometimes the old can hold you back. Thanks for the update.

 

34 minutes ago, Kellysinclair101 said:

Hope everyone  well and doing good and are safe . Have a nice  week  my friends  hugs 

You too, Kelly. Keep your head up (unless there’s a riot in your neighborhood)!

 

Stay Safe,

Susan. R?

[Tessa]

Hi, 

 

It’s been a while since I posted. I’m doing fine but still struggling in many areas of my life. Some big things have happened recently though. My ex has apologized to my children for the way she had treated them. She told them that she was involved in some manipulative relationships. She didn’t say who though. I thought it might be the boyfriend but they’re still together. 
 

My trans daughter asked for counseling. My ex took her and she will start soon. Carter needs this. She has had thoughts of suicide and she cuts. I really think this will help him. I also now have a counselor and she his helping me. She told me that regardless who I present it’s all me. 
 

Spent some time at my mom’s Sunday. We watched movies and had good conversation. I told her that she does not have to call me Tessa. I wanted to see how she would react. She said she will never call me Tessa. I told her I’m working on myself and she is happy I’m talking to someone. 
 

So. Things seem to be better with the Ex but not full acceptance in the family. Today I’m wearing my blue and white sun dress. I love wearing a dress. The best part of it is it feels so free to be in a dress. I would love to wear a dress and go out into a park and just spin! 
 

Anyway. Life seems to be ok right now. I’m coping. 
 

Love, 

 

Tess