Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, Jandi said:

It's kinda weird to think that you're a political pawn.

 

I know I don't particularly want the attention.

 

Not even a pawn really, we're more of a bargaining chip. We're the screaming victims in the background of a disaster movie sacrificed so that the villain can achieve his goals or someone the hero can sacrifice for the "greater good" and be sad about later.

 

We don't have their attention. We're just being sacrificed to gain a few votes from people who think they have to hate us to make their god love them again.

 

Hugs! (I know *I* need one, I just bummed myself out.)

[Ivy]

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

We're just being sacrificed to gain a few votes from people who think they have to hate us to make their god love them again.

Helps them feel better about themselves.

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, Jandi said:

Helps them feel better about themselves.

 

That too. But it tends to be the people who go to a church to feel better about themselves also.

 

It's kind of sad. I don't have to hate on anyone and I still manage to feel good about myself. I can't imagine what living like that must be like. I pity them at the same time I fight against them.

 

Hugs!

[Lee H]

Hi Bobbi --

5 hours ago, Bobbie Scott said:

Ironically, 1 of the treatments for prostate cancer is a form of hormonal therapy. They give you a testosterone blocker.

Yeah, it's commonly called Finasteride, but I don't know the proper generic name. I've been taking it for years, for prostrate. Just had labs -- my new doc said I was near the bottom of the "normal" range for T. I was surprised. I thought I'd be near the bottom of none-at-all after taking it for that long. My dose is 5mg/day, which is common for prostrate, but I think I read somewhere that is much higher than T blocker in HRT. She plans to consult with my endocrinologist on whether to add another T. blocker. She's cool -- a GYN. I'll do and take whatever she says. 

 

Also, Hi ElizabethStar and Jacqui --

 

6 hours ago, Jacqui said:

I wonder if this might be due to the practice having concerns about an existing or anticipated rule change that would result in loss of state or federal funding for trans-friendly care providers. 

 The way I understand the WPATH Guidelines, a diagnosis of "gender dysphoria" opens the door to HRT Rx. on the basis of "informed consent." I also think HRT is considered the correct treatment with that diagnosis. So if they "eliminate" a Gender Dysphoria diagnosis, they can eliminate HRT treatments.

 

But I question the medical ethics of refusing to make the correct diagnosis of a medical condition for "political climate" reasons. Their fundamental principle supposedly is, "Above all else, do no harm." I also wonder about medical malpractice liability. Wouldn't a political refusal to accurately diagnose and treat an identified medical condition constitute medical mal on its face?

 

~~Here comes a grateful hug for an interesting subject, from Lee~~
 

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, Lee H said:

But I question the medical ethics of refusing to make the correct diagnosis of a medical condition for "political climate" reasons. Their fundamental principle supposedly is, "Above all else, do no harm." I also wonder about medical malpractice liability. Wouldn't a political refusal to accurately diagnose and treat an identified medical condition constitute medical mal on its face?

 

This one is tricky. Doctors are already prohibited from certain courses of treatment because of external factors. While I agree it sucks beyond sucking, it's an unfortunate side-effect of how the American medical apparatus is funded. I could very easily see gender dysphoria being legislated back to being a mental illness with differing courses of treatment in the current political climate.

 

Hugs! (I need to stop reading these. I keep going to deep, dark places in my head. For the love of the Spider-Goddess somebody post something uplifting! Also, vote if you haven't already.)

[Ivy]

2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Also, vote if you haven't already.

My goal in life at this point is to live long enough to vote.  Early voting starts here in about 2 weeks.

Kinda pathetic for a goal, but there it is.

[KymmieL]

So I go to wally world to get refills for my razor. As I am heading to check out. I see my wife. She asked me why I am there.

So I tell her.

OH, you should of told me yesterday. I went shopping.

Well you didn't tell me you were going shopping.

Well it's the first of the month.

 

Then shes, We have razors up stairs.

Not ones that will fit my razor

Well we have the small ones. (disposables)

Yeah, I tried one didn't work worth beans.

Oh it must be your hair getting all stiff from shaving it all the time.

I'm like, Low jab, honey.

 

So,we look at a couple ideas for my 2nd oldest grandsons birthday next weekend. She is going to take the stuff back she already got him and get other stuff. SO I go to purchase my stuff. She plops a loaf of french bread on the belt for the check out. Then I'll see you at home. No big thing. Once we get home she arrives just after me. I tell her. I'm telling our son that some crazy lady just threw bread at me and walked out. She proceeds to flip me off.

 

I am getting so fed up with her crap. She would tease me like that If I did it to her.

 

Hugs.

 

Kymmie

 

 

 

 

[Jackie C.]

@KymmieL I'm assuming it wasn't a playful ... how do you say that? "Off-flipping" "Drive-by birding?"

 

Thinking about it though, I might have playfully flipped a friend off while I was presenting as male... heck, I might do it to a male friend now, but never my wife. We trade looks, but yeah. I'm sorry tensions between the two of you aren't getting better.

 

Is trading gifts back and forth like that normal? That's not something I've ever done. I was brought up to keep a gift forever. Even if it was something you didn't want or need. To the best of my knowledge, once my grandparents bought something as a gift for me, that was the end of it. Of course, my grandparents only had to contend with the two of us on Doctor C.'s side and three on my dad's side.

Then again, my wife keeps reminding me that, "Other families are NOT like what you grew up with." So what do I know?

 

Still, I hope your week gets better Kymmie. Big hugs!

[KendraML]

Had a great birthday today,went out for lunch with family,my wife and son.Mom made me happy,a new pair of 4 inch black heels and something written in the birthday card.Wrote this: I said goodbye to a son that wanted a better life 4 years ago and now a much happier daughter in my life whom I love and accept.Mom and I hugged after I read it.

[Berni]

@KymmieL

My wife never says "I love you" ... as in never ever. The closest I get to those words is "you too" if I tell her I love her ... but usually not even then.

 

We've talked about this and she says she doesn't believe in words. She asks me to judge her by her actions as words are so easily manipulated and lied.

 

Its something I've just learned to live with.

 

Maybe your wife is the same?

[Elizabeth Star]

I've managed to calm down quite a bit today. I still have a lot random feelings. I gonna put them in a box until I have therapy again on Thursday. It's been an interesting ride dealing with these emotions but al least I'm not getting angry.

 

I got a hold of a list of other therapists I'm going to call. I'm not feeling very optimistic right now but I will call them.

[HollyElizabeth]

@Berni Sometimes words aren't for the person saying them, but they're for the person hearing them. I'm not trying to say anything bad about your wife and how she feels, so please forgive me when I say this. She needs to think about you and how you need to hear that she loves you. I know you already know how she feels, but sometimes it's nice to hear it out loud.

 

Berni I know I don't know you, but this is for you girl. I love you!

[HollyElizabeth]

What have I mised by not checking this thread.

 

@ElizabethStar WTAH is going on with your therapist. I had to go back through and find what you were talking about. They're just dumping you to fend for yourself! I can see them not taking any new patients, but to actually fire you from being an actual long time patient of theirs is ridiculous. Have they told you what you're supposed to do now? Any referrals to see someone else? This should be illegal and you should be able to file a malpractice suit over this.

 

 I am so sorry sweetie

[Willow]

@Jackie C.Thanks for the suggestion, however since I take progesterone and not estrogen I can’t eat foods or supplements that are high in potassium I have to avoid them. Potassium levels and kidney function are something my endocrinologist watch’s like a hawk. I don’t have much prostate left after two surgeries so my frequency and flow are more like a much younger person.  Staying properly hydrated is something I have to be careful with.

 

Willow 

[Willow]

@KymmieLim so sorry your wife is putting you through all this.  It seems like just when she does something to make you think maybe things are getting better she turns on you again.  That’s tough.  I know you are looking to go to Oregon for I’m sure several reasons, but what if you just move out now?  What would be the difference?  I’m not really in favor of that but if your are going to have to end up there, why wait until you can move there?

 

good luck with whatever you do.

 

Willow

[Jacqui]

12 hours ago, Lee H said:

Yeah, it's commonly called Finasteride, but I don't know the proper generic name.

 

Lee, actually Finasteride is the generic name; the commercial names are Propecia and Proscar.

 

12 hours ago, Lee H said:

The way I understand the WPATH Guidelines, a diagnosis of "gender dysphoria" opens the door to HRT Rx. on the basis of "informed consent."

 

Requiring a diagnosis from a behavioral health professional before an endocrinologist prescribes HRT is the old 'gatekeeper' approach.  "Informed consent" is the opposite of this because it allows a patient to receive HRT without any kind of diagnosis from a therapist by signing a form indicating that they understand the side effects and risks of HRT and assume responsibility for receiving it.  (Of course, with the informed consent approach, the patient's health insurance company may be less inclined to believe that HRT is 'medically necessary', and so may refuse to pay for it.)

 

This link explains it in more detail:  https://slate.com/human-interest/2016/03/transgender-patients-and-informed-consent-who-decides-when-transition-treatment-is-appropriate.html

 

[Elizabeth Star]

Good morning,

 

I actually have coffee this morning and why did I wake up at 4am?

 

@HollyNoel My therapist did not out-right dump me. The director of the practice decided they will no long be diagnosing or treating GD. But we're still OK to meet and talk about anything else. Might have well just dumped me. It's not like I'll be able to talk about anything else going forward. I will still meet with him, for now, because I need someone to vent too.

 

 

 

[Willow]

Good morning everyone 

 

coffee pot is on. 
 

@ElizabethStar suppose a medical group can decide what they will treat and what they won’t but to deny to allow you to talk about something that is a big part of why you are there, I say run, don’t walk to a different place get your therapy notes and then file the malpractice.  Leaving someone out on a limb and cutting it off has to be wrong.

@Jacquisome states still require a diagnosis and not informed consent.  Now that could be because they are doing the funding.  The endocrinologist I see works for a state university and medical school and did require a diagnosis before he could treat.  Since I already had that I’ve had no issues getting treated by anyone there for related issues.  It Is like once you’re in your golden.  But that’s part of living in the south.  Laid back life style, held back acceptance.

 

Willow

 

[Jacqui]

2 hours ago, Willow said:

. . . some states still require a diagnosis and not informed consent.

 

I realize this.  The intent of my post was simply to clarify that the diagnosis "gateway" model and the "informed consent" model are two very different things.

[Willow]

Sorry, I only meant to put it out there for others that might not know both are still in use depending on circumstances and where you live.  
 

Willow
 

 

[KendraML]

My son came out to me this morning and proud of him,came out as bigender.My ex wife,he told her and it wasn't good at first.She took it hard and has not accepted it yet,told him it may take time for her to accept this.Plus he knows I will love and accept him with my support.If she doesn't accept,knows he can live with me.Has known this for 2 years now 16 years old and picked out his female name already,Allison.Going to get in touch with my good friends whom will help him out,Said he wants to live and dress as Allison within a couple weeks.

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, KendraML said:

My son came out to me this morning and proud of him,came out as bigender.My ex wife,he told her and it wasn't good at first.She took it hard and has not accepted it yet,told him it may take time for her to accept this.Plus he knows I will love and accept him with my support.If she doesn't accept,knows he can live with me.Has known this for 2 years now 16 years old and picked out his female name already,Allison.Going to get in touch with my good friends whom will help him out,Said he wants to live and dress as Allison within a couple weeks.

 

Aww! Give Allison a hug from Aunt Jackie. It sounds like she has realistic expectations and at least one supportive parent and that is awesome. She even gets to be embarrassed of you while you go clothes shopping somewhere you're too old for. I'm just so very happy for the both of you! Thank you! I think you just made my day.

 

Hugs!

[AmberM]

Waking up to some coffee this morning, looks like yesterday was interesting conversation for some folks. Had a good day at the zoo with my mom, and we had a conversation about me being transgender and what it meant. She has a better idea now of what it means, how it isn't a choice, and it is also something that goes untreated could lead down the path of suicide. There were some comments that were made, but I kind of ignored them because she is trying. She has concerns that are valid, just I am not on that plane of worry anymore.

 

Today is going to be a support group day, then going over to a friend's house to do some art, so that should be interesting to see what we do and make. I am thinking about going over dressed as Amber and flexing my comfort level a little bit and going somewhere with other people, not that it is going to be risky or anything. This friend and I talked last night and actually can't wait to go shopping with Amber.

 

@KendraML I am glad to hear that your daughter was willing to come out to you and know that you will always have your support. Like you said, your ex-wife may take some time to come around.

[KendraML]

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Aww! Give Allison a hug from Aunt Jackie. It sounds like she has realistic expectations and at least one supportive parent and that is awesome. She even gets to be embarrassed of you while you go clothes shopping somewhere you're too old for. I'm just so very happy for the both of you! Thank you! I think you just made my day.

 

Hugs!

I saw he has not been happy about something and know what it is now.I know Allison will be happy as a girl.One good friend of mine is a make up artist and will teach Allison about make up.Hair,has good length shoulder length hair to work with.My ex wife,will call her sometime this week and try to talk to her saying Allison will be finally happy in her life.It may or not may work convincing her.

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, KendraML said:

I saw he has not been happy about something and know what it is now.I know Allison will be happy as a girl.One good friend of mine is a make up artist and will teach Allison about make up.Hair,has good length shoulder length hair to work with.My ex wife,will call her sometime this week and try to talk to her saying Allison will be finally happy in her life.It may or not may work convincing her.

 

Oh! Allison's lucky to have you. Makeup is hard as heck to master. Expensive too. Your ex might take a minute. She could need to see how much happier Allison is as herself before it starts to sink in. As trans people ourselves, we've got a better handle on what being trans feels like than cis people. Don't be too hard on them, they were just born that way. ?

The point being that pressuring a cis-person to be accepting, even when it's an obvious case of, "Love your children dammit!" doesn't work. It's like giving your cat a shower, nothing gets accomplished, you need a new shower curtain and you lost about a gallon of blood.

 

So love the hell out of Allison. Give her all the love and support you can. Let your ex sort her own feelings out. She'll come around or she won't, but all you can really do is give your kid a safe haven.

 

Hugs!