Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Jackie C.]

2 hours ago, BreM said:

For me,I have moved on and realized I am finally happy in my life as a fulltime crossdresser.I have always loved wearing women's clothing and shoes.I do use the women's restroom ever since being careful.I go do my thing and out

 

Oh wow. So yeah, when I was still pre-op in 2019 my wife wanted to hit up an antique mall upstate for her birthday. Michigan, for those that are unaware, has bathroom laws.* About halfway through our trip, I had to pee. I was presenting full time and couldn't very well hit the men's room without some serious questions so I went to the ladies room. Two stalls. Someone is having some serious digestive issues in the first one. The second is open, but doesn't have a lock. My wife is running interference, but this woman just barges past her and into my stall.

 

Fortunately nothing came of it, but I might have lost a year off my life to the fright. Fist bump for my fellow bathroom anarchist.

 

Hugs!

 

*They amount to: If you have a penis, you use the men's room. I admit to being a bathroom anarchist more often than just this time, but this is the one that sticks out in my mind.

[Willow]

@Heather Nicole Uh Oh!  How can I be friends with a Falcon when I'm a Rocket?  LOL  Oh, and my sister was a Falcon, so no hard feelings.

 

Did you ever notice a place called Cactus Flats along Rt 6?  Believe it or not, they had wild cactus growing there.  I never understood how cactus could grow wild in Ohio.

 

Oh, and the KFC in Bowling Green?  My best friends family owned that and two others.  Small world eh?

[BreM]

Today went well at work,a genetic female came in and we had a consultant.She is getting married next month and said I have the job,wanted someone from the trans,crossdressing  community to do her make up including to her bridesmaids.Another mother brought in her two daughters whom are 13 and 15.Her youngest is transgender and oldest is bigender both happily living and dressing as girls now.Liked they are not alone telling them I am a fulltime crossdresser.She loved them both no matter what

[Willow]

I understand the fear of being clocked when you are out.

 

I have managed for nearly two years now to be out as female and very very rarely do I get a second look.  
 

the very first time I went out I was scared to death.  My wife insisted we stop at a fast food restaurant close to home on our way to a three day outing.  I was as jumpy as a cat on a hot tin roof.  It went fine.  On our trip, I got clocked at least once but I also had a guy that looked like he wanted to hit on me.

 

since then I go out as feminine when I can including going to the church where the male me taught adult Sunday School.  No one says anything.

 

don’t be nervous. That’s probably a big problem for getting clocked constantly looking around and being self conscious.  I try to just act normal and ignore others.  Works for me.

 

Willow

[Willow]

@KymmieL it sounds like things could go either way with your wife.  If you want to stay together, maybe there’s a breakthrough coming.

 

I admit things can be bumpy with my wife at times. And they can be good at other times.  It used to be that I wouldn’t or couldn’t talk or express my thoughts or needs.  My therapist spent time working with me to communicate better.  I will say that’s helped.

 

Willow

[Emily michelle]

Hi everyone! I took the day off today so that was nice. I had a consult with a urologist about an orchiectomy and he has no problem performing it. The procedure could be as soon as January. I have to call my insurance company tomorrow and talk to them and see if they cover it and what there requirements are. As of right now my paperwork states the don’t cover any sex transformation procedures. I’m just hoping I can get all my ducks in a row.

[Ivy]

2 hours ago, Willow said:

don’t be nervous. That’s probably a big problem for getting clocked constantly looking around and being self conscious.  I try to just act normal and ignore others.

Yes.  If you're visibly nervous you attract attention - which you don't really want.

I've kinda gotten to a place where I don't think about whether I am "passing" or not, and just go about my business.  Perhaps I "pass" more than I realize.  That is a nice thought - although probably a delusion.

[Gabriel]

Morning all!

 

On my second cup of tea.

Today a bit overwhelmed with stress at work, a very interesting prospect at my second job, trying to figure out what the heck I want on my gender identity journey and some health issues.

 

Well, as @KayC says, deep breath and one step at a time.

Wishing you all a lovely day

[Willow]

Good morning everyone 

 

nice day again although a chilly start. Sitting here drinking our morning coffee.  Third day in a row for doctors appointments then off until Monday then another one.  Yesterday’s doctor wanted me to come to Charleston to take an esophagram. After it was set up for Next Wednesday I told her I’d had one in 2018.  I sent her the results and she canceled the new one. The old one showed her what she was wanted to see apparently.

 

our dog came in to bed a couple times last night. The first time she figured out I was awake so she insisted on being rubbed.  The second time she decided she would leave me alone.  Laid with us a little then left.

 

y’all talk about cats, well our daughter brought one home once.  I was a nice cat.  Decided that I was it’s friend. It would come sleep with us and particularly on my face.  Unfortunately, I’m allergic to cat dander.  Wife and daughter both no your not you just don’t like cats.  I had to go to an allergist to prove it to them before they believed me.  She kept the cat, but not in our house anymore.  
 

years later it ran off during a thunderstorm and they never saw it again.

 

Willow

[KayC]

4 hours ago, Gabriel said:

Well, as @KayC says, deep breath and one step at a time

Ahhh..  that's so sweet, Gabriel.  I don't think I've ever been quoted before. 

 

I'm happy that mantra means something to you.  Even the smallest of efforts in the right direction will create tremendous changes over time, just like the wind and water can carve away mountains.  When we look back we will see how far we have traveled.
Wishing you a wonderful day?❣️

[AmberM]

So I am off for the next two days because I had a trip planned that was cancelled and thought I should still keep the days off. I am not quite sure what I am going to do with that time, because too much free time has proven in the past to be a dangerous thing for me. Work has been slow over the past week still, and I have a feeling won't pick up again until the new year which is giving my mind a lot of time to wander, which again, typically not a great thing for my mental health. It's amazing how right now, things are kind of stacked against mental health:

    1.) Quarantine/COVID Restrictions

    2.) Slow Work

    3.) Time Off (Our company is use it or lose it)

 

I honestly haven't even been in the mood to mess with makeup, hair, or really get out of PJ's, which probably isn't the best thing. I've gotten dressed a few days to pick up food or coffee, but that is about it. I know I shouldn't be doing these kind of behaviors, I just can't seem to get myself motivated.

 

Today is therapy day, so we'll see what my therapist thinks of all this, I just know I am going to hear it that I am not doing enough to fight the mood driven behavior. Le sigh ... depression sucks.

[KymmieL]

@Willow I still don't think she will ever accept me as female. She doesn't even want to try and understand what being transgender means. Maybe just maybe and that is a strong maybe. She may accept it once I finally leave.

 

My Saturday, got up early took a shower, then since I am alone till after 3 I put on a dress. feels fantastic. I have speech therapy today.

 

Kymmie

[Willow]

@kymmle,  think its great when you have your time and can be yourself.  Before i really knew what was up with me i would get up in the middle of the night and dress.  No make all hidden.  That expanded to times when she as away during the day..  the problem was that wasn’t satisfying enough but i knew there would be hell to pay if my wife knew.

 

once i as out to her things were real bad.  Like you, “last Christmas we are going to be together “. Well through conversation and patience here we are our third Christmas.  It wasnt  easy.  Some give some take but we continue to work on it.

 

can-it work for you?  Do you want it to?  Would she be part of it?  Apparently you dont think so.  You have to do what you need to do.  No on can tell you otherwise.

 

Wliiow

 

[KymmieL]

trust me, I would absolutely be ecstatic if my wife supported my transition. But alas I don't believe she ever will.

 

Kymmie 

[Elizabeth Star]

Since we are moving in a couple of weeks my wife and I decided we should get a dumpster to just get rid of anything and everything we don't need or want. So I come home to a humongous  in our driveway. I was thinking one of the smaller ones that have 2 or 4 doors on the top but no, she got truck sized one. There's no way we're gonna get close to filling it. On the plus side I can finally purge all the un-needed stuff from my life. It's about time actually. I've learned how to let go of all the negativity in my head, time to let go of all the reminders.

 

I still have a couple co-worker that won't let go of my past. They want me to accept that they're older, set in their ways and are trying. It's been 2-1/2 months since I changed my name at work. One of them has never called me Elizabeth or Liz and yet expects me to accept her apologies when she uses my dead-name. Another has be constantly corrected. And then there's the owner, He's been talking about some of my accomplishments with the "back when Liz was..." statements. I don't want to but this is going to be an HR thing. They have no idea how much this is hurting me.

 

On the other side of this. I had to get my parts-stock inventoried today. The new girl, who works in our warehouse, was assigned to inventory part in all the vehicles. While she was going through my stuff she found a box with my dea-dname on it. It was so sweet of her. She looked at it, mumbled to herself this is so wrong, blacked out the name with her marker and threw it in the trash.

 

 

[Audrey]

12 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

I still have a couple co-worker that won't let go of my past. They want me to accept that they're older, set in their ways and are trying. It's been 2-1/2 months since I changed my name at work. One of them has never called me Elizabeth or Liz and yet expects me to accept her apologies when she uses my dead-name. Another has be constantly corrected. And then there's the owner, He's been talking about some of my accomplishments with the "back when Liz was..." statements. I don't want to but this is going to be an HR thing. They have no idea how much this is hurting me.

 

@ElizabethStarThis is one of my biggest worries about coming out at work. I'm sure it's deeply painful for you that some your co-workers aren't creating the emotionally supportive space for you. I do hope you have other co-workers who do accept you and a supportive HR department if it comes to that. I'm early in my transition and not out to anyone in my office yet, but I will need to do something because my physical changes will soon be less subtle and more obvious and that will bring the inevitable questions. My colleagues (and clients!) may have harmful views of transgender people as well and I'm sensing that I may face a similar situation to yours in the future. I work in a very small agency that's very prone to gossip so I'm fearful of what coming out will be like.

 

Love,

~Audrey.

[Heather Shay]

I didn't come out at work and applaud you for doing so. I know acceptance of me would not happen in my day.

I know it is hard but I am pleased you are doing it and braving it to know YOU are the reason things ARE changing and the next generation will thank you pioneer women and I'm not talking cooking.

I admire you. I have been on HRT for 5 months and my internal pains continue to stew and tears come so much quicker but even now I am still such a rookie that you probably don't need to think of that any longer. You are making great progress. Be happy and keep doing what you are doing because whether you notice it or not you've come a LONG way and i am so proud of you.

[Willow]

Good Friday morning 

 

I get a day off today, well sort of.  House work, grocery store, rain coming later.  Tomorrow evening our son is coming for a short visit. He has to be in Atlanta Tuesday so he is coming here first.  
 

I had a nice talk with my therapist yesterday.  We discussed a number of things.  She indicated she could tell I was doing better than the last time we spoke, much happier and more outgoing.

 

my wife heard me mentioning a diagnosis of severe depressive disorder.  When we ended the session, my wife says to me would I be happier if I was fully out.  I’m thinking where is this coming from.  Turns out she heard severe depressive disorder I thought I was having serious problems.  No, that was my original diagnosis from when I first saw my doctor and first therapist about being depressed and needing help.  But knowing how she feels, I felt very loved that she would express that to me and say that I should just be out if that’s what I needed.  Just talking about this is bringing tears of happiness .

 

Cant see right now so I’ll be back later.

 

hugs

 

Willow

[KymmieL]

Willow, during one of our arguments the wife mentioned would this solve your depression. I just told her maybe. I didn't know. I still don't. Could it, yes. but my depression diagnosis came way before coming out. Is it the underlying cause, could be.

 

Well last day off so it is my Sunday. have a video appointment with my Therapist later this morning.

All of 10 degrees out thing morning. glad I am inside. Should be most of the day. As a normal Friday going out to eat tonight.

 

Take care everyone.

 

Kymmie

[Willow]

I’m back.  Kymmie I was really desperate for counseling when I reached out.  Frustrated with delays like I can see you without a referral from your PC whom I hadn’t shared with and didn’t know that I wanted to share yet.  But long story short after I cleared the hurdles he actually cleared space on his calendar to see me ASAP.  Hence the SDD diagnosis.  I wasn’t initially there because I was trans.  I didn’t know I was although I was beginning to suspect.  
 

Never had the conversation with my wife before yesterday do I need to be out full time? And that showed me  that she really still cared.  The most since all this began 2 ½ years ago. (Ok, 72 years ago but who knew) I’ve told her how much I appreciated her feelings and comments from yesterday several times and it still brings moisture to my eyes.

hugs 
 

Willow

 

[Bri2020]

On 12/3/2020 at 6:03 AM, KayC said:

Ahhh..  that's so sweet, Gabriel.  I don't think I've ever been quoted before. 

 

I'm happy that mantra means something to you.  Even the smallest of efforts in the right direction will create tremendous changes over time, just like the wind and water can carve away mountains.  When we look back we will see how far we have traveled.
Wishing you a wonderful day?❣️

You really need to be a writer if you're not already.

[Bri2020]

It's a cold grey day here and not enough coffee in the world could warm me up.  It's been the week of pain endurance: 2 days of Electrolysis followed by two tattoo removal sessions- ugh.  Progress being made in most areas of my transition. I gave up on voice therapy for awhile. I just found I didn't have the bandwidth with everything else going on.

I'm anticipating my business being shut down for Covid sometime in the next couple weeks and I'm kinda looking forward to it.  I've prepared for that so can handle a 2-3 month shutdown and I figure the time off can be spent focusing on my voice feminization. My speech therapist is happy to do it virtually.  Most of my staff is ready for a break as well. All the covid protocols we have to do in the massage industry is taxing and everyone is just stressed. Hopefully some unemployment benefits gets passed so if we do have to close they are better taken care of.

[Alex-John]

hey everyone , sorry i havent been around so much for a while , its night time here in Scotland  and it snowed as well as two thunder claps last night it woke me up and i woke up my partner , he was not happy as he just went to bed an hour before at 3 am oooops it was on the local news , people phoned the police saying they could hear an explosionsion  but it happens some times  i think its rare  and i though it was a sonic boom  because it was  snowing . 

 

how are you all ? i hope you are all doing well  i.d have a coffee but its a little late for me  maybe lemon and ginger tea instead 

[Mmindy]

3 hours ago, Alex-John said:

 

how are you all ? i hope you are all doing well  i.d have a coffee but its a little late for me  maybe lemon and ginger tea instead 

@Alex-John Thunder Snow is rare, and so cool when it happens. Live is good here in Central Indiana USA. I'm drinking a cup ☕️ of Green Tea with Honey ?.

 

@KymmieL and @Willow as you may remember last Spring when I came out to my wife, her first reaction was anger, saying I was dead to her and killed our 44 years of marriage. Today she's helping me change my clothing and slide down the androgynous scale. I'm still in video counseling and doing better. After my last session my Suzie asked me how I was doing? I told her that my biggest relief was that I could openly talk to her and not live a life so scared that she would find out about my darkest secret. I'm Transgender and she knows it. It's so liberating. 

 

Hugs for all,

 

Mindy

[JustineM]

Good evening everyone! Start of a nice three day weekend for my birthday. So enjoying a nice evening of The Mandalorian and a manicure.  My wife got me a nice jewelry box to keep on my new sparklies in. Hope everyone has a safe and wonderful weekend