Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Heather Nicole]

On 11/13/2021 at 11:52 AM, KathyLauren said:

It does get confusing.  A woman (cis or trans) attracted to women (cis or trans) is a lesbian.  A woman (cis or trans) attracted to men (cis or trans)  is straight.  If you are attracted to both, you are bisexual.  If you are attracted to neither,, you are asexual.  The categories get messy if you are non-binary or are attracted to non-binary people.  Pansexual may cover that situation, but maybe there is a need for another term.  Or maybe we should just stop putting people in pigeonholes.

 

(I know I'm late to this discussion, but I wanted to chime in...)

 

These difficulties are why I'm not a big fan of the terms "gay" and "straight": They mean totally different things depending who it is!!

 

"Gay" (or "straight") means one thing for a woman. It means something totally different for a man. And it pretty much falls apart in confusion when applied to non-binary people.

 

I like the terms "androphilic" (attracted to men) and "gynephilic" (attracted to women). They're overly clinical sounding, granted. They're not easy and snappy like "gay" and "straight". But they always mean the same thing for everyone, no complications. Maybe could still use additional words to fully accomodate for flavors of non-binary, but even with non-binary in the picture, IMO, it's still much, much simpler than "gay/straight".

 

As for me, I know I'm fully gynephilic. Like, 10 out of 10 gynephilic. Women appeal to me, and "lady parts" I've always been absolutely enamored with. But androphilic? Maybe a 1 or 2 out of 10. "Guy parts" can be nice, and I would love to try receiving some after full-depth vagiplasty, but they don't utterly fascinate me. Plus the big buzz-kill for me is they frequently come attached to a man. Toxic masculinity definitely drives me away, always has, but over the years I've known a lot of guys who aren't like that and are genuinely great shining examples of positive masculinity. But even they still don't get to me quite like a nice lady can ?. They can, however, be wonderful friends/coworkers. (Although, if Antoni from Queer Eye broke his exclusively-androphilic ranks and put the moves on me, I...just might not decline...?)

 

But that brings up another matter of terminology: I used to really like using the terms "guy parts" and "lady parts" to avoid bluntness. But I've learned there's a problem with that: Some men have vaginas (and such), and some women have penises (and such). And that doesn't make any of them any less of a man or woman. Don't really know what else to call them though, without feeling more blunt than I'd like to ??

[Heather Nicole]

I love the idea of a butterfly/hummingbird garden!

 

My condo unit doesn't really have much of a "backyard" per se, but I do have a (very small) fenced-in back patio I can grow potted plants on. I'll have to see what I can do to prep for butterflies and hummingbirds next spring ?. I think my cat and I would both love watching the increased nature-traffic ?.

[Willow]

@Mmindy perhaps I didn’t write that correctly it is only capable of raising the water temp 60 degrees Fahrenheit.  So 40 degree water in will be 100 out, not counting any temperature drop from the heater to the faucet

[Willow]

Good morning 

 

to early for coffee. 
 

Like several others here I was Air Force.  You couldn’t take all the time you wanted in the shower in basic.  It wasn’t a Navy shower but it had to be quick.  Right after basic the school I went to was so long we were permanent party.  
 

I know what cold is, I grew up in northern Ohio.  I left Ohio to Thailand, it was minus 15 and I was in a short sleeve summer uniform. 
 

when shore water gets too cold, either wait until later or switch to tank water.  It’s much warmer to begin with.  Draw back is lower water pressure and flow rate.  But, it’s warm and wet, I just have to refill the tank.  I carry about 80 gallons fresh water and up to 20 of black water.  20gal of diesel and 2 20# lpg tanks. One for the stove and one for the water heater.  
 

every thing was fine at my preop testing today. Now I just have to wait until next week.

[MirandaB]

Good morning! It's my monthly "E Day" when I celebrate my start date for HRT, will be celebrating by...having another random Tuesday experience. 

[Maddee]

Good morning.

Came home from a fun weekend road trip.

But now have to hit right back on the highways for some bad stuff that has come up. No work until Thursday night, so I'm grateful there is some time for things. Long time pet passed while I was gone,  and he is sentimentally worth private cremation for a future ash scattering ceremony.

My parents are not well, my mom especially bad surprisingly.  Gonna go be present there. Playing by ears.

Take care.

[Mmindy]

Good morning everyone,

 

@Willow I'm truly proud of you, and your service in the Air Force, and understand the real life tests the young recruits endure. So the shake down run on the diesel engine is still in process? I hope it proves to be everything you expect.

 

@MaddeeI'm so sorry to here about your long time pet passing. Please go take care of your parents, be the caregiver, and advocate for their well being. Prayers and Positive Energy sent your way.

 

The bird feeders are active, and the cats don't understand the windows between them and the birds. Long time returning birds barely flinch when the cats lunge at the window.

 

Best wishes, stay positive, and safe,

 

Mindy??️‍⚧️?

[Jani]

Take Care @Maddee

 

Hugs, Jani

[Maddee]

Well we can't see her, for the entire duration of her hospital stay, whether she lives or dies here.  Her immediate family, including her loyal husband of 52 years, cannot see her because two of her church friends registered themselves as her guests at the hospital before we did.  And they're not even here.

 

Beyond stupid.

[Aggie1]

1 hour ago, Maddee said:

Beyond stupid.

I would ask to talk to the hospital administrator. If it’s a misapplication of policy they can fix it.  Family comes first. If that doesn’t work, news at 5 is another way to fix stupid.

[Maddee]

Similiar situation happened last year when a friend of mine died in a hospital.  His wife called the outlaws.  Don't know how exactly, but her and her son did get it with him to visit.

[Aggie1]

1 hour ago, Maddee said:

Similiar situation happened last year when a friend of mine died in a hospital.  His wife called the outlaws.  Don't know how exactly, but her and her son did get it with him to visit.

Talk to the desk and tell them you want file a complaint. That should get the ball rolling 

[Elizabeth Star]

I can finally do a happy dance. My new therapist gave me an official gender dysphoria diagnosis. I’m a little miffed that I spent 2 years with that other therapist and didn’t really get anywhere. Regardless, I can finally star moving forward. 

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I can finally do a happy dance. My new therapist gave me an official gender dysphoria diagnosis. I’m a little miffed that I spent 2 years with that other therapist and didn’t really get anywhere. Regardless, I can finally star moving forward. 

 

Wow, I'm surprised it took that long. I only needed one visit with UofM. Regardless, congratulations! Let the Wild Rumpus begin!

 

Hugs!

[Aggie1]

1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I can finally do a happy dance. My new therapist gave me an official gender dysphoria diagnosis. I’m a little miffed that I spent 2 years with that other therapist and didn’t really get anywhere. Regardless, I can finally star moving forward. 

Unbelievable! How have you managed to progress as far as you have without it? I mean look at you?! Who could doubt it for a second!?

 

 

[Mmindy]

1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I can finally do a happy dance.

Happy Dancing with you Lizzy.

 

Hugs and Congratulations,

 

Mindy??️‍⚧️?

[Elizabeth Star]

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Wow, I'm surprised it took that long. I only needed one visit with UofM. Regardless, congratulations! Let the Wild Rumpus begin!

 

Hugs!

Maybe I miss-worded that?  My new therapist only needed 2 sessions to diagnose me. It was my old one that wouldn’t even after 2 years. 

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Maybe I miss-worded that?  My new therapist only needed 2 sessions to diagnose me. It was my old one that wouldn’t even after 2 years. 

 

No, I got it. Confused by your old therapist, but I got it.

 

We're still having the Wild Rumpus though, right?

 

Hugs!

[Elizabeth Star]

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

 

We're still having the Wild Rumpus though, right?

 

Hugs!

For sure. 

[Elizabeth Star]

1 hour ago, AgnesBardsie said:

Unbelievable! How have you managed to progress as far as you have without it? I mean look at you?! Who could doubt it for a second!?

 

 

I know who I am and will do as much as I possibly can with whatever resources I have. 

[Willow]

@Elizabeth Star  my first therapist took about a month.  Second and third agreed almost immediately.  So I can check all the boxes.  Therapy, gender dysphoria  diagnosis, over a year on HRT, and my first surgery ready to go unless the insurance messes me up.  your turn is going to come quickly now.  I’ll celebrate your success too.

 

 

[Aggie1]

1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I know who I am and will do as much as I possibly can with whatever resources I have. 

The diagnosis helps with insurance right?

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, AgnesBardsie said:

The diagnosis helps with insurance right?

 

Probably unlocks some surgical options too. At least with WPATH doctors. Illinois is an informed consent state though, so you can still get HRT without the diagnosis.

 

Hugs!

[Aggie1]

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

1 hour ago, AgnesBardsie said:

 

 

Probably unlocks some surgical options too. At least with WPATH doctors. Illinois is an informed consent state though, so you can still get HRT without the diagnosis.

I walked into a gender clinic in Portland OR end of March this year, talked to a pcp for 30 minutes and he said “when do you want to start?” No therapy, no questions asked. I said “deep breath. I’ve waited for this moment for 60 years. Ok, how about today!?” Since then the diagnosis has transferred over to Kaiser and every encounter I’ve had has confirmed the diagnosis. This part of the country is very progressive on this issue. I can’t imagine the frustration of talking to a therapist for TWO YEARS and them not getting it. It sounds like malpractice!!!

[Jackie C.]

At-Will states are pretty neat, but tragically they're a long way from "all the states." There are some places where Planned Parenthood will do at-will also, but we don't have one of those clinics here. Yay for state rights. I needed a letter of recommendation with a gender dysphoria diagnosis on it before I could start HRT and two more before I could look into surgical options.

 

Fantastic if you live somewhere that lets you at least get started without professionals signing off, but most of us have to slog through the system.

 

As an aside, my first gender therapist was against the system as is. She doesn't care for her role as gatekeeper. Personally, I didn't mind. Yeah, it would have been nice to just go for it, but I honestly would have done ANYTHING to get started. Bring me Jeff Bezos' left testicle by the end of the week? Done. Want a griffon eyebrow? Left or right? Heck, I'm an overachiever. I'd probably bring the entire Bezos and/or griffon just to make sure I had what the clinic needed.

 

Hugs!