Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Marcie Jensen]

Hey @Teri AnnePronouns are a deeply personal thing, I think, and folks ought to be called by the pronouns they prefer. It should be a small issue, but for some people it's very important and I try to respect that.

 

Your initial question was why do we need pronouns, I believe. Well, from a linguistic standpoint, they are an integral part of speech and necessary for identification. The bottom line is that often, we can't complete a sentence without 'em... The deeper question, I think was in regard to gender based pronouns. That's more interesting to me. As a one time speaker of Farsi, Dari, Greek, Hebrew and Arabic (Nowadays I barely get by in English) I learned that the only language in the world that used gender neutral pronouns was Farsi. Or so our instructors at the Defense Language Institute said. It got me curious so I asked around and virtually every friend I have who speaks another language has confirmed what my Farsi teachers said. That in and of itself is interesting, but is off topic.

 

I guess the real puzzle is why folks put such emphasis on them. That position is one I understand; I've got a friend that I've known for more than 30 years, for example, who still sometimes calls me by my male name and uses male pronouns for me. I try to keep in mind that it's a difficult mental switch for him, even though he and his wife were the first people I came out to. As Jamie said, "I don't need them, but it's nice to have someone use the correct one with me." Like her, I find it makes me feel more accepted and is affirming. But, so long as I'm not called late to dinner, it really isn't a big deal for me.

[Davie]

Good morning, all.

I had the most awesome and scary thing happen today. There's a zoom group I go to—all LGBT folks there, but few of them trans or non- binary. There was a question about getting poems published from one person so I shared resources about how to do that and that I'm a poet. Well, then I got asked to read something so I did. My poem was one I shared here on TransPulse, Trans Girl Plays Tackle Football, 1963. It was a hit with them, but it also brought out a few comments. One person didn't understand "the whole gender thing and pronouns and why trans folks have to use different pronouns." Another called me David instead of Davie. Anyway, it was scary to do but I also felt "heard" and respected and I felt I've come out to them in a special way. If all good progress is scary, then it was certainly a good thing.

Life sure can be interesting.

And the senate is making moves to cancel the filibuster—cool.

Have a great day.

— Davie

 

 

 

[Jamie68]

41 minutes ago, Davie said:

Good morning, all.

I had the most awesome and scary thing happen today. There's a zoom group I go to—all LGBT folks there, but few of them trans or non- binary. There was a question about getting poems published from one person so I shared resources about how to do that and that I'm a poet. Well, then I got asked to read something so I did. My poem was one I shared here on TransPulse, Trans Girl Plays Tackle Football, 1963. It was a hit with them, but it also brought out a few comments. One person didn't understand "the whole gender thing and pronouns and why trans folks have to use different pronouns." Another called me David instead of Davie. Anyway, it was scary to do but I also felt "heard" and respected and I felt I've come out to them in a special way. If all good progress is scary, then it was certainly a good thing.

Life sure can be interesting.

And the senate is making moves to cancel the filibuster—cool.

Have a great day.

— Davie

 

 

 

❤️

[LindaMarie]

While on this subject, we out there get asked a lot, are you gay?

Some freak and go no, I'm not gay.

I always left them with this answer, not sure, haven't tried it yet.

And of course I walked away after saying that, leaving them to wonder.

 

The only reason I bring this up here is the fact that it might help others that

go through these questions. Meaning just be honest? No, never give yourself up.

Always maintain an edge. With a smile of course.

❤️

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[KathyLauren]

I just got my latest covid test back.  It's negative.  😀  Being double-vaxxed (triple since last week), it was unlikely.

 

Nice to know that it's just the cold from HE-double-hockey-sticks.  With probable pneumonia thrown in for good measure.  I have a phone appointment with my doc at the weekend.  But I am going to avoid hospitals if at all possible.  I really don't want to pick up even a mild infection of omicron variant on top of this monster.

[LindaMarie]

I don't blame you. I called in and jury duty is on for the morning for me. Masking up.

My forth time in 20 years here serving. 

I hope to get on a case that lasts for a year. Nothing else to do.

OOPS....more to do...clean masks and more shots, I want to live!!!!!!!

BTW I am also an organ donor. I love the heart on my license. 

LM❤️

 

[Willow]

Hi everyone 

 

well we survived the storm.  The wind finally blew itself out.  We didn’t have any damage but a couple boats did, plus the gate got knocked off its hinges some how.  It’s the typical steel farm gate with pin hinges .  My wife had a eye doctor appointment this morning. She was the last one called, was in an exam room and after she’d waited over two hours and hadn’t seen the doctor, she left.  It not the first time she’s had to wait for this doctor but it’s the longest.  She’s decided to find someone else..  she’s had high ocular pressures which is an indicator of glaucoma since she was 12.  Very unusual.

 

I nearly have my helm instruments box finished.  I’ need some screws with lock nuts and the mounting plate then I’ll be done.  New chart plotter, new fuel gauge, new light switch for the compass light and a spare switch  it has room to add idiot lights or gauges like temperature and oil pressure and maybe something to indicate charging status.   And it will have a vhf radio.  The main vhf is at the navigation station below but that doesn’t do much good when I’m at the helm.  when I’m all done I should have a great working sailboat.

 

should be a better night for sleeping. No banging from the wind.

 

Good night

 

Willow

 

 

[Elizabeth Star]

Ooo, the pronoun thing. They are important to me but you have to understand that I never liked being call a guy, sir, mister, boy, son, he or him. So now that I'm out living my life I feel completely invalidated as a human being when they're used. Like they don't see ME. I know people make mistakes and I don't get upset about the simple/small ones but when I've told the same people time after time and they still get it wrong, it sucks the life out me. I'm also not giving them a free pass to call whatever they want. This is my life, not theirs.

[Davie]

8 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

❤️

😍

[Heather Nicole]

8 hours ago, LindaMarie said:

While on this subject, we out there get asked a lot, are you gay?

Some freak and go no, I'm not gay.

I always left them with this answer, not sure, haven't tried it yet.

And of course I walked away after saying that, leaving them to wonder.

 

As a transbian, anytime I imagine coming out to someone and being asked "So...does that mean you're gay?", this meme always pops into my head:

 

 

 

[Teri Anne]

I dislike the gay assumption but that comes from ignorance so I try to use that as a learning moment for that person.

When I tell then gender identity and sexuality are two different things they are stunned because  they  never really thought about it rationally.

I had one guy who "clocked" me when I first started going out dressed and he got up in my face and said what are you a queer?

I said not yet and he didn't know what to say.

You better not hit on me to which I said politely I don't like A holes so don't worry. Then walked off.

As far as pronouns go I go by how the person is presenting bit I do understand there are people in between so thanks for the clarifications as to why you use them.

That was very helpful.

[Aggie1]

10 hours ago, Davie said:

If all good progress is scary, then it was certainly a good thing.

 

 

🌳 From little acorns....

[Aggie1]

13 minutes ago, Teri Anne said:

he got up in my face and said what are you a queer?

I said not yet and he didn't know what to say.

For some reason this cracked me up!!!

[helena]

26 minutes ago, Teri Anne said:

had one guy who "clocked" me when I first started going out dressed and he got up in my face and said what are you a queer?

I said not yet and he didn't know what to say.

You better not hit on me to which I said politely I don't like A holes so don't worry. Then walked off.

I've never understood why some guys seems to think trans women are out there to get them.

 

You're at the bar having a swell evening when some chump from the other side of the bar approaches and says: "Hey! I know you're (some-disrespectful-term-of-a-trans-woman)! Don't you try to hit on me."

 

This kind of stunt never crossed my mind even when I was in denial about myself. Of course I've spotted trans people trying to blend in, but why on earth would I want to intentionally make a fellow human being feel miserable? Is it some sort of a hunting game? "Hey everybody! I found my pray!" Or do they have secret desires of trans women? A compulsive need to show their friends how tuff they are? Is it junior high all over again?

 

I've never experienced this myself, but I tend to what if... 

[Heather Nicole]

35 minutes ago, helena said:

You're at the bar having a swell evening when some chump from the other side of the bar approaches and says: "Hey! I know you're (some-disrespectful-term-of-a-trans-woman)! Don't you try to hit on me."

 

Yea, it's kind of like "Hi, my name is mud and I'm total garbage. I know that being trash makes me a super-stud so I just wanted to stop you before you get too entranced in my irresistible aura of idiocy, flop-sweat and failure." Which of course only makes me think (not "say", only "think"), Bubba, I can't imagine why anyone would want you, least of whom myself, but you've just given me reason to want to make passes your way, bugs-bunny style. (Not that I would, of course.)

 

35 minutes ago, helena said:

Is it junior high all over again?

 

I'm more than convinced that many of these types never graduated, mentally, from junior high.

 

[Cyndee]

7 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

 

As a transbian, anytime I imagine coming out to someone and being asked "So...does that mean you're gay?", this meme always pops into my head:

 

 

 

 

😆 that's a good one...

[Elizabeth Star]

7 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

 

As a transbian, anytime I imagine coming out to someone and being asked "So...does that mean you're gay?", this meme always pops into my head:

 

 

 

I've been asked more than once if I was "gay" when I was coming out. Being the first question I'm asked it really makes me wonder what's going in people's heads.

[Jackie C.]

10 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Ooo, the pronoun thing. They are important to me but you have to understand that I never liked being call a guy, sir, mister, boy, son, he or him. So now that I'm out living my life I feel completely invalidated as a human being when they're used. Like they don't see ME. I know people make mistakes and I don't get upset about the simple/small ones but when I've told the same people time after time and they still get it wrong, it sucks the life out me. I'm also not giving them a free pass to call whatever they want. This is my life, not theirs.

 

Yeah, the little slip-ups are fine. Malicious ones are not and the ones from loved-ones REALLY hurt. I also find that I need to train my spouse better on who she can bring up my being trans with. I'm trying to impress on her that around strangers, that's a good way to get me assaulted or possibly killed.

 

My usual response is to try and laugh it off with something like, "What part of this says, 'Sir' to you?" It still hurts though.

 

Hugs!

[Willow]

Hi, what a difference a day makes.

 

slept like a log last night.

 

I figure the BOYS who approach and make comments especially the don’t hit on me are actually very insecure in their own sexuality.  Real men would just leave you alone.

 

those are some really good comebacks. I guess I figure just walk away cause you never know when the other guy is drunk enough that he’s actually looking to start a fight.  Of course I’d guess that would depend one the type of establishment and clientele.

 

coffee is hot but maybe not as strong as normal.  We only had one pod left for the two of us.

 

finally got my estrogen/estradiol level. I’m a normal middle age woman!

 

hugs

 

Willow

[Mmindy]

5 minutes ago, Willow said:

coffee is hot but maybe not as strong as normal.  We only had one pod left for the two of us.

Love is sharing the last pod of coffee.

 

Good morning everyone.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[LindaMarie]

up date on jury duty. 5 hours in a cold room. dismissed. then report in the morning.

darn, second phase coming.

BTW, the coffee there was not good.

LM❤️

 

[Elizabeth Star]

1 hour ago, LindaMarie said:

BTW, the coffee there was not good.

As if the $7 they pay you wasn't punishment enough.

 

[Marcie Jensen]

Look at it this way--it cost them about $25 to cut the check for $7. Just sayin'...

[JoniSteph]

@Teri Anne on the subject of pronouns, the ones that are little slip-ups are fine, but the malicious ones are not. They tend to come from people trying to impress others or make themselves feel better than you. These are the ones that seem to do the most damage.

 

@Heather Nicole 

 

22 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

As a transbian, anytime I imagine coming out to someone and being asked "So...does that mean you're gay?", this meme always pops into my head:

 

Love, love this.❤️

 

Big Canadian Hugs

 

JoniSteph

[Willow]

Good hump day morning. 
 

hey, don’t forget, you have to report that $7 on your tax return. It’s hardly worth getting paid at that rate.

 

no coffee today so it’s herbal tea for me.  Peach tranquility.  Which reminds me to take my morning meds.  
 

Laundry and groceries today.  Tomorrow is go to the bank.  Friday is group.  Something for every day this week.

 

have a great day and stay safe.

 

Willow