Looking vunerable when out dressed.

[MelissaAndProudOfIt]

Hi all

 

I am having bit of a writing spurt on today.  Cannot stop it.   Heres a lady with loafs to say.  Will get off my Orange box shortly...

 

Looking Vulnerable - one sure way to advertise you lack confidence, you are are not who you physically look like - causing doubt as people start sussing you out.   Signs are...

Not holding your head up at all, not looking or smiling at all, big no no is constantly looking about you to see if anyones checking you out.  Another no no is to suddenly run to you car or wherever for no apparent reason. Simply believe you are the real thing, a real genetic girl as no one are aware of what you have below, regardless of not brilliant make up, as in that case you. Could be a real girl having a bad make up day.  They dont know what your packing in your nethet regions either, so, as long as you seem relative well adjusted people will just see a lovely lady.  If you want, you could always ask a friend you can trust if he can be your chaperone on a first few times out to any new place.

[DeeDee]

Thank you Melissa - feel free to stay on your orange box!  I know that this is going to be a goal of mine, so my intention is to have a couple of female friends with me and do something like go out for coffee - the biggest worry I have is bumping into someone I know. How did you overcome this initially?

[tracy_j]

Good advice Melissa. Confidence makes a lot of difference. My take on bumping into people you know is to take it in your stride (as far as possible). They will likely be as unsettled as you, so greeting with a smile and pleasant words will usually defuse the situation. I came across that situation at a party I went to earlier this year. The DJ and his wife were old friends of my male self, whereas the party was with someone I have got to know when female. I just walked up to his wife and quietly said 'Call me Tracy'. Things went well. I find it's a very good idea from the outset to develop communication skills with women. That maybe sounds a bit formal, but in practice it is a feminine trait and very enjoyable / rewarding.

 

Tracy

[Susan R]

1 hour ago, tracy_j said:

I just walked up to his wife and quietly said 'Call me Tracy'.

Now that takes guts.  I applaud your bravery and confidence, Tracy.  I know that someday I'll be there because there's no doubt even though this area (Seattle Metro) is huge, I'll eventually run into someone I know.

 

2 hours ago, MelissaAndProudOfIt said:

Not holding your head up at all, not looking or smiling at all, big no no is constantly looking about you to see if anyones checking you out.

Agreed. Nothing draws attention to yourself like looking down and depressed.  This is a really good point, Melissa

 

Susan R?

[MelissaAndProudOfIt]

Affirmations

 

"Live my life"

"I am who I am"

"I am a woman"

"Be happy"

"Free at last"

 

[tracy_j]

20 hours ago, Susan R said:

Now that takes guts.  I applaud your bravery and confidence, Tracy.  I know that someday I'll be there because there's no doubt even though this area (Seattle Metro) is huge, I'll eventually run into someone I know.

 

Susan R?

 

Thank you. It probably takes confidence, but I was confident the woman I was talking to would be open minded. Historically it was not quite as bold as it sounds as I was at her husband's birthday party a couple of years ago, and I was dressed very feminine so it was not quite a bolt out of the blue. It's just that I needed to think on my feet and do something decisive with confidence. The alternative would be a mess. My earlier advice does hold for anyone meeting someone they know though. Greet with confidence, but I would add - be friendly with them such that you are acknowledging them, but not so that people think that you are very close (ie don't put them in an embarrasing position as far as you can). It does happen and has to me several times (my city is a fairly small place). I find treating things as 'matter of fact' and behaving as if all is normal (which it is) usually results in little reaction. It does not mean that people cannot be negative, but usually it avoids an immediate reaction.

 

Tracy