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Thinking about telling my boss...


jo_g

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Not sure whether or not to tell my boss. On the one hand, he has been super supportive when I was getting very down over the last year or so. He was one of two people encouraging me to see a therapist (not aware of gender issues, but just to help resolve my mental health) and has been through mental health stuff himself, which is why he's so understanding. He's also told me that the company health insurance will pay for anything (sadly that's not the case, but he's said other things that imply there may be other ways). Finally, the company handbook specifically lists gender reassignment as a protected group for discrimination, harassment and bullying etc. He's also super super supportive of diversity and I almost wonder as if some of the things he's said are just hints that he might suspect what the cause of my depression has been. I'm still yet to have my first appointment with the specialist that can recommend HRT, but at the same time, it seems like if I tell him now, it could make things a lot easier, especially given how many appointments I'll need to have for all the various things I'll need to do...

 

Of course, the other possibility is that I could tell him, it repulses him and then I get driven out. That would not be ideal as far as my mortgage, bills and paying for treatment is concerned.

 

Would be interested to read peoples' thoughts.

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You never know how people will react. I recieved a lot of support from my former co-workers when I transitioned at work. I did not get any harrassment and later even got promoted to a newer position. But I kind of had no doubt that work would be easy, friends a little harder and family was (and still is hard). 

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Since your boss is supportive of taking care of yourself and may in deed be dropping hints about what he thinks is happening with you maybe this is a good time.  Think it out and make your decision.  Ultimately you will end up coming out at work so pick the time to your advantage.  

 

Jani 

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1 hour ago, jo_g said:

Not sure whether or not to tell my boss.

You're going to eventually need to tell your work but I would probably wait until you're well into HRT and fully committed to your transition. At this point, there's no hurry unless for some reason you need to take a lot of time off due to this.  I don't know how much contact you have with your boss or how much small talk you two share privately but with carefully thought out questions, you can get a good idea where your boss stands on this issue.  Based on what you've described regarding your boss, the outcome is probably going to be positive one.  If the boss likes you and your work then they'll likely give you even more leeway.

 

Good luck with your decision,

Susan R?

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In my current position I am going to wait until the HRT makes me do it. However I think that all the others at the store may have an idea. Although no one has said anything. It is hard to conceal the straps when  wearing bras and string camis, Even under 2 layers of clothing.

 

I have put in for a new position in Chattanooga, TN. Do to the nature of the position. If I get it and move I will be coming out to my boss. As I am planning on presenting as a female.

 

Kymmie

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Thanks everyone for the replies and opinions. Some good stuff to consider, thanks. :)

 

I speak to him pretty much every day, so can certainly dig further before being sure either way, but as you've all said; I will have to tell eventually. Hehe.

 

3 hours ago, KymmieL said:

I have put in for a new position in Chattanooga, TN. Do to the nature of the position. If I get it and move I will be coming out to my boss. As I am planning on presenting as a female.

 

Fingers crossed that happens! 

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