Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Dysphoria Causing Ana


Recommended Posts

I had started restricting my diet around the time I came out. I was cutting back before then, but it didn't get really bad until dysphoria came into play. I didn't want to be curvy, I didn't want to have a big chest, I didn't want to have a big butt. So, I restricted and restricted. At my worse, I would fast for almost two days, and when I did eat, I wouldn't eat more than 400 calories at the very most. On average I ate 300. I'm in therapy now, and I'm technically in recovery, but I still have those thoughts of restricting, and I catch myself sometimes when I'm trying to cut out as many things as possible. I lost 40 pounds, but it's still not good enough. My hip and chest dysphoria are suffocating, yet nothing is fixing it. I can't start T for at least another two years. Has anyone else experienced this? WHat advice would you give me?

Link to post

was in a similar place as a teen, refusing to allow any weight gain. i ate more wood products than actual food, would puke most of what i did get down back up, and i would try to stunt my bone growth by fastening physical restrictions around areas i did'nt want to grow any wider... which mostly just resulted in lasting joint damage.
i couldn't tell you up or down about carbs or proper diets, i've never counted them or gone on one right. but, assuming you're young, i would strongly advise that regardless of what shape your body may take, take care of it. you can go back and learn to work around/compensate for areas you don't like, have some removed/others worked on, but it's harder to work back up your physical health if you run it into the ground. try to keep an eye on longterm success.

perhaps try to lose it through exercise or working out rather than diet change. exercise can improve your mental health, and muscle feeds on fat and proteins and will help even out your shape by adding bulk to other, not-necessarily feminine looking places. you don't need to be amab to get built, but muscles are more often stereotyped with a masculine persona, so building up a bit would add a lot more to how you pass than just trying to get skinny enough that there isn't any room for boobs or butt to exist... which, as someone who grew up/and is still stuck far underweight, i'll tell you this right now: you will not get skinny enough to make them go away. i can count each of my ribs from rested-breath and my pelvic corners poke out like roadkill, but i still have a B-cup and hips wider than my shoulders. until you get estrogen blocked out, your body will always default your fat to feminine areas, and they will always be the last parts of your body to deflate as you lose weight. if you're trying to get thin enough that these areas cease to exist, it will not happen until every other part of you is too threadbare to function properly, which will only hinder your transition.
aside from that period symptoms become exponentially more of a pain in the arse the worse your health is, transition itself relies on your overall health. HRT will heavily try on your body's systems and wreak hell on your organs if they're not in good shape, and if you get to be too unhealthy/high risk for anesthesia due to health complications it could stall your SRS indefinitely. if you're getting on T, take care of your liver, don't overdo pain meds if you can help it, don't give into heavy drinking, and give your body the resources it needs to maintain itself. 

Link to post
  • Forum Moderator

Limiting your caloric intake to below that needed for healthy sustainment is not good.  You can change your diet to limit certain aspects though.  Also get involved in a weight/strength training program.  Understand that muscle weighs more than body fat so don't focus so much on that as much as on how you look and feel.  It may be exactly what you are looking for. 

Link to post

Thank you guys so much. You've given me a lot to remember. Thank you, MicahKj, you've definitely helped me. I appreciate you taking your time to write to me. ?

Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   12 Members, 0 Anonymous, 54 Guests (See full list)

    • VickySGV
    • Flowers
    • Delcina B
    • ValerieRun
    • Aurora
    • Emily Michele
    • Petra Jane
    • Drayse
    • Charlize
    • Transgirlkatie
    • Myles97
    • Astrid
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
    • Most Online

    Newest Member
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. emily the wolf
      emily the wolf
      (16 years old)
    2. Fai
    3. Iberianwolf12
    4. VSS-Rosa
      (22 years old)
  • Posts

    • VickySGV
      @Transgirlkatie  This is the most excellent take on life for any of us in these times.  Look out and see what you can do for OTHERS, it is a big step and scary at first, but it does so much for our own outlook on life.
    • Delcina B
      Hugs for you Katie! I'm not in your shoes, but we're all wearing the 6 inch heels called COVID. It's depressing sometimes to keep up the safety measures. I used to deal with depression differently than now. These days when I catch myself feeling down I look around at my family or online & see if there's someone I can help out. Even if it's in some small way, it might just make their day better. I definitely feel better when I don't focus on me & my troubles.   Another hug, Delcina
    • LusciousTheLock
      Congratulations!  Good work  
    • KathyLauren
      Someone else with a Zook.  My ride, back in the day, was a Suzuki GT380.  The GT series were two-strokes, so it had credible power for highway riding.  I did a few long vacation trips on it.  But motorcycles are for young folks.  I sold it a long time ago.
    • KathyLauren
      Wow!  I was all set to post a "fingers crossed" message as I caught up on the posts.  But now I get to post a "congratulations"!  That is awesome that your sister and mother support you!!
    • Sarahnr1
      Im well aware that cali have been hit hard  and the restrictions  are  WAY tighter  then we  have over  here Katie  so i can understand   youre feelings  i would  too . BUT what i also said  was they WILL  get lighter  dear . And  Katie    you have  alredy  been thru the worst  part  its only a question of time  until  the  vaccination  and  the  situation have   improved. id  say  based  on what youre  predident  not to mention how  state  after state   are beginning to open up gradually ( The theme  parcs  seem to been granted to open up again , with restrictions  yes  but still thats   sign that   gradually as time  goes  and things  improve   the society WILL  open up my friend.   Would  you belive i wasent  even close  as  open and   able to meet  others  online   when i first  started  on the net  (forums  like this  and  others  )  ?   Youre WAY better then you think   my friend  all you need to gain some  self Confidents. The zoom calls  i presume is video talking  (ie   Skype etc....)  ?  Yeah i dont  do that  either   thats  not for  me . And thats OKEY  dear.   Katie   im diagnosed  with SEVERE Sucidal   so belive  me  i understand  you better then you might  think. And have been sucidal from i was a we girl.  And  STILL  here i am  talking to you . My life isent  worth diddley  (well before i met my partner  )  & i had  NOTHING left  to live for and all i could do was trying to make the best  of what life i got  left  on this earth  (natural way ) . And  low  and  behold  that one day this person came in to my life  and gave  me a reason to live and  gave me  the life i have searched  for  all my life  without ever finding  it.  What im trying to say here   is  DONT  GIVE UP  Katie  youre young   you have youre entire life ahead  of  you i dont  i have maybe 15  - 20 tops (us with my  diagnosis  usely leave  roughly 10 -15  years ahead  of  non  diagnosed ) & STILL  im right here  trying my best to do what i can with what life  throws at me to work with.  THATS  what you need to do as well  my young  friend.  Giving  up on life is NOT an option simple as that .     Well then you have way higher  education then me hon and i can guarntee  you you WILL  get job again  with youre backround   please. (im a  Ex long haul  truck driver  ) Yes  right now  things  have  gone down  i give you that BUT   when this is  over   they will be screaming for  workers as  you  to come to work hon.  And so what if youre no good  on online  interviews  im more then shore you are   in person and as i said  this  WILL end   and  there WILL be reel  job interviews again.  Again its  youre self  confidence  thats  down & needs to get a kick in the rear my friend  im shore that  youre more then capule  in this field.    The  main thing to ALWAYS keep in mind  here  is   DONT  give up on youre self  /youre life  Katie . You HAVE to keep fighting  towards  youre goals   in life  (it wont  be easy   it will take a lot  work from youre part  BUT  you CAN do this Katie  of this i have  0 doght.                                                                  
    • Myles97
      Thank you everyone for being along this journey with me so far. I really needed y’all here to help me process through the craziness that was this morning. I love you all so much, and I am finally feeling some relief and affirmation. I hope this continues and that my mom doesn’t regress. 
    • Transgirlkatie
      I don't think I can accept restrictions for another year, that's too much for me. I'm just not good enough at making friends online and zoom calls don't bring me joy. I don't want to kill myself, but it's pretty much the only way to end my pain. And then there's the fact that I won't recover financially till covid is over (I'm an it field service tech and Lyft driver), and I can't get a wfh job because I'm not good at job interviews especially over zoom
    • Jamie68
      Yeah, nobody in their right mind would choose to be like us. More like it chose us and we get to deal with it, like it or not.
    • Jamie68
      Could get awkward. Might want to check if they still fit.
    • AwesomeClaire
      Ok, don't give up, you'll find the right people eventually, it isn't easy for me either, it took me a while (years) to finally find some groups - I found local board game and book clubs (and they still offer these virtually) so I have met some great friends that way. My super close trans friend I met in another FB group, she posted and I saw some common interests and struck up a conversation, I can't believe how close we have become despite living 1,500 miles apart.
    • Tasha Marie
      @JandiWell doesn’t sound like fun for sure, but you survived. Lucky that’s good.
    • Jackie C.
      Cute! I really need to wear earrings (studs probably) more often.   Of course first I need my ears pierced.   Hugs!
    • Charlize
      That is fantastic.  Take that well earned deep breath and relax.  Time may bring changes as everyone gets through your revelation but you have made a big step and deserve a bit of rest.  Fantastic!   Hugs,   Charlize
    • Jackie C.
      Congratulations! I'm glad your family is supportive!   All hail the Spider-Goddess in her many-legged glory!   Hugs!
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.


Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules


Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.


Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
  • Create New...