A Long way's I have come and finding my old post

[Raven1981]

Hello All:

 

So I wanted to share some of my old post that I ran across in the archives way back in 2009.  Wow I cannot believe I have been a member on this form since 2009 and my first mentor who helped me out alot when I was posting back then is still here.  I would love to meet her when I go to California.  But my first mentor was @Carolyn Marie  Back then in 2009 I was always posting in the cross dresser section cause that is what I thought I was and seeing a general therapist back then told me that I was a cross dresser so I was always thinking that I was a cross dresser.  But after reading my old archive post, it shows hands down that I am actually Transgender without knowing it.  I have even found a old post of mine asking if I am a cross dresser or transgender and when I read it, I cannot believe that how I am talking about the same thing I have always said that I am happy, confident, feel better as a girl than me being a guy.  Other post show how I am afraid to go out but always wanted to live as a girl or me being born in the wrong body.  Now here I am 10 years later finally fully out and fully knowing that I am a woman and living very happy as myself and that I am transitioning.  I have come along ways on here.  

 

Want to also add that I have looked up my high school journal that I have found and sure enough it also shows the same as my old archive post and my current post with saying how I am a girl and want to be a girl and want to live as a girl and want breast and a body and long hair and everything.

 

I have linked some of my old archive post if anyone might want to see / read

 

 

 

 

 

[Carolyn Marie]

Thank you, Amy.  It's so cool to read the old posts and see how far we both have come since 2009.  I'm glad the posts exist, because a lot of the old stuff was lost when we moved to the new server and web host service.  Reading the posts bring back a lot of memories.  Thanks, again.  Glad to hear that you are doing well and are happy.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[Raven1981]

Your welcome Carolyn.  You were the first one I meet on here back in 2009 when we were with Laura's Playground.  I am happy that I was able to find my old post and cannot believe just some of my post show that I was never a cross dresser but I was transgender and never properly knew.

 

But I must have been hiding it for awhile and then the time I was absent, I was drinking alot and must have been to try to surpass my thoughts of who I was cause I did not know how to come out and show who I was really.

 

And now, I am fully sober with not drinking alcohol and cannot be anymore happier with living my life as I have always should have been.

 

Lots of Love

[Kirsten]

That’s really cool Amy!! I was on that Laura’s playground a long time ago but I can’t remeber my name or anything. Very cool to be able to look back like this! Just think about where you’ll be and what you’ll see in 10 more years! 

[Jani]

Congratulations on coming so far Amy.  What a journey!!!

 

Jani

[Raven1981]

Thank you @Kirsten, @Jani.  I cannot believe that I have actually be on this form for 10 years.  But 3 of those years was when I was in a dark place and did the purge of all my female items cause I thought that I was a cross dresser cause I listen to a general therapist and started drinking very heavily to the point of blackouts to try to surpress all my emotions thinking that I was weird for wanting to live as a girl and wanting to be a girl and saying that I was born in the wrong body and that I should have been born a girl.  I wish that I knew now on and take that back in time to my younger self and tell myself it will be ok and that I can start to transition and become that girl I have been seeing inside of myself and that she will come out and emerge into the world and to get started early.

 

I hope everyone enjoyed reading some of my old post that I have found.  I saw my actual therapist today and showed her some of my old post from here and my old high school journal and she said the same thing that this confirms hands down that I was never a cross dresser and that I am Transgender.  But back then I really did not know.  My gender therapist has no doubts in her mind that I am transgender and that this is the right path for me and has no problem providing me letters for anything I need from hormones that I am on now to surgeries.  She is just so happy to see how far I have come and loves seeing a smile on my face and loves how I still talk to her and share with her.  I just love that I have found a awesome wonderful gender therapist