Came out to my family, they're supportive but don't use my name.

[Evann0101]

Hi, I am having sort of an internal battle regarding how my family reacted to me coming as out trans (ftm).

I am incredibly lucky to have family who support me and just want me to be happy. However, no one uses my name. Some family call me 'Ev' and some still use my birth name. Now, I'm insanely grateful that they're trying but how do I ask them to actually say Evan? 

My mum told them to just use Ev because its 'easier' but it's just not my name. It's like I've come out as a person I'm still not?

 

[Dev]

This is an area that might take a bit of patience.  Names matter to more than just the individual.  Your mom, for example, knows you as and has been for however many years calling you by the name she gave you.  While she's supportive, she might need a space of time to adjust to what is for her a sudden change in your identity, even though you've known for years you're Evan.

 

I suggest you lead with the patience when you talk to people.  Tell them it's important to you that they end up calling you Evan and you'd love it if they'd try right away, but you're willing to be patient while they process the change.  Communication and acceptance go both ways - it's wonderful that they're respectful of who you are, and it'll go much easier for you if you can both tell and show them that you understand it's a process for them, too.

[Evann0101]

1 hour ago, Dev said:

This is an area that might take a bit of patience.  Names matter to more than just the individual.  Your mom, for example, knows you as and has been for however many years calling you by the name she gave you.  While she's supportive, she might need a space of time to adjust to what is for her a sudden change in your identity, even though you've known for years you're Evan.

 

I suggest you lead with the patience when you talk to people.  Tell them it's important to you that they end up calling you Evan and you'd love it if they'd try right away, but you're willing to be patient while they process the change.  Communication and acceptance go both ways - it's wonderful that they're respectful of who you are, and it'll go much easier for you if you can both tell and show them that you understand it's a process for them, too.

Thankyou for your kind response. I suppose approaching the matter with patience and understanding will be far better in the long run than leaving it be and having it be an issue, months down the line.

Thanks again