Thoughts of what others think

[Janae]

Hi all,

 

i was was wondering if anyone has thoughts of what other people you know would think if they knew you were a woman?  So for some reason the past few weeks I will have out of the blue a thought of what a certain coworker would do if they saw me as a woman. I have really never had these things pop in my head before. 

I know I have said in the past that I am good with not going further in my journey, but deep down maybe I know I must physically transition?  

These random thoughts usually happen just doing simple things - like when I come out of the shower and I am tucking myself (so I am not looking at any male parts in the mirror), or putting on a bra when I get home.  I mean just out of the blue, someone will stick in my head, and then I start to feel and think “what am I doing”. I don’t really stop anything - I still continue with what I was doing. I guess I would rather I did not have these thoughts of what some guy at work would think. 

Anyway, not sure why all of a sudden this is happening, but wondered if others have this happen to them. I tell myself “who cares”. But I guess I just wish this wondering never popped into my head in the first place.

Strange why all of sudden stuff like this burdens me.

 

Janae

[Charlize]

  I was sure that many would have reacted badly to my transition.  I was afraid and lived in fear of being "found out".  My gender issues were going to go to the grave with me.  Results?  My brother is happy to have a little sister.  Old female friends and those i see often are more chatty and fun to be around.  There are some guys who may feel awkward.  Maybe some actually think i'm attractive or, who knows, they may have their own "issues".  I have one old friend who doesn't want to see me but his wife is closer.

 Anyway, as you noted, it's none of my business.  I can't change their perceptions of my transition but i can change myself and find peace with myself.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize 

[VickySGV]

3 hours ago, Janae said:

Strange why all of sudden stuff like this burdens me.

 

Not strange at all, it happens like this to the vast majority of us so you are not alone.  One of the characteristics of Gender Dysphoria is that it is PERSISTENT in our lives and progresses through many phases.  My suggestion is to find Support Groups in your area where you can go out dressed and showing your female self and it may help resolve your questions as to how people will react in a safe environment.  With a little bit of preparation, "coming out"  most people will be fine if they do not have prejudices from outside sources and will quickly see our True Selves which are even nicer and more fun than the old masked self.

[Janae]

18 hours ago, VickySGV said:

  My suggestion is to find Support Groups in your area where you can go out dressed and showing your female self and it may help resolve your questions as to how people will react in a safe environment

 

Thank you Vicky.  This is a great suggestion.  Yes, I really do need to get out dressed.  I am such a way better person when I am able to present myself as female.  I think finding a group - in a safe environment- would be a great place to give me some courage.     

 

Janae ❤️

[Janae]

21 hours ago, Charlize said:

I was sure that many would have reacted badly to my transition.  I was afraid and lived in fear of being "found out".  My gender issues were going to go to the grave with me.

 

Thank you Charlize. I guess that is what goes through my mind all the time is the worst case.  I need to stop thinking like that.

 

Hugs. Janae. ❤️

[Susan R]

On 8/31/2019 at 4:07 AM, Janae said:

But I guess I just wish this wondering never popped into my head in the first place.

Strange why all of sudden stuff like this burdens me.

I think you're experiencing a very common part of transitioning process.  I had similar thoughts about every single person I eventually came out to shortly thereafter.  My mind always thought the worst case scenario but when I thought about it long enough the question I always ended up asking myself was similar to your response..."who cares?"  I would then think to myself...I would rather they know the truth about me rather than not know me at all.  Maybe, we do this thought provoking brainstorming as a method to work all the possible responses we might get to prepare ourselves for that future discussion.  Fortunately, most of my predictions of complete rejection after coming out to someone were only in my mind.  The ones that did take a step back, did so a week or so afterwards.

 

My 2¢ on the topic,

Susan R?

[Lexi C]

I don't get those thoughts. However, I came out via FB and texting my friends. some who live in the east coast. They have not seem me as woman, their support, but every time I talk or text them I think to me self " I wonder if they would fine attractive or hideous?"  Vicki right is will help..Be Proud, Stay safe, and kick Ass 

[Maid In Bedlam]

Said it before i have no interest in what other people think. Its my life and its the only one i have so im not going to waste my time on considering what others think.

 

I did try and get in touch with one of my old old freinds once. They knew me in my teens. Once i told them of what i had become and unbonded myself from any shackles of manhood they just stopped talking to me. So after i got over being upset. I decided never again. Its not worth it. Ive never tried since.

Dont get me wrong theres a few people from my past i would love to be back in contact with. They was awesome freinds. We were suppose to be BFF,s But time put a stop to that. We drifted until we lost all contact. However after my above expreance i decided nothing lasts forever and just keep the cherished memorys i have.

 

What would scare me is if anyone found out in my social circle now is if i was anything diffrent that what i have always been but never admitted it to myself

 

Always been a woman but i had some trans issues in my past. It almost has a stigma attached to it. Do you not think?

 

Maybe im delusional? I dont know. I more considered myself not fitting into the normal practise of thinking trans. Tried it once. Didnt like it.

Maybe im an odd one who just wants to fit into society perception of being one of the two genders commonly percieved. Is that so bad?

 

Thats always been my goal and i think ive achieved it. Im a much nicer person now and at one with myself. Something i never was when i was trans. So for me my chosen gender has been far more beneficial than my given one ever was.

 

and there i go once again just waffling on lol.. get to the point? I do eventually ? After going round and round.

[Moira Arista]

This the only negative about being a Trans Female. I've worried to no end what my co-workers, old friends, and acquantences would say if they found out I was female. For this reason, I try not to run in to them in public. I would probably have to quit my job if any of my coworkers found out.