Oh Brother

[Hellothere]

I am out to my parents and two close friends and that is it. Despite being close to my brother, he isnt aware. I keep wanting to tell him but every time i go to, i pull back. I have nothing to fear, he isnt transphobic and i know this to be true. I know he would accept and me and maybe that is the problem. Maybe he would be to quick, and god forbid he tells someone. When i came out to my parents, they told me not to tell anyone. Maybe thats the problem. Maybe its never the right time. Maybe i should wait longer, till im cleared by my therapist and be diagnosed as trans. Im not sure but its always on my mind. Do you think i should tell him or is it not the right time for that yet? 

[Susan R]

1 hour ago, Hellothere said:

When i came out to my parents, they told me not to tell anyone.

Coming out is hard and can be filled with great fear.  From my experience and limited research online, very few people regret coming out after making the effort and doing carefully and tactfully.  It's a freedom many never experience.

 

IMO, your parents should not be telling you to keep this buried inside..to not tell anyone.  It's seems a bit self serving to me but maybe I'm off the rails.  I don't know your parents and maybe there are reasons not disclosed and it's for your protection.  My parents thought it's better to keep it all quiet and look where it got me....56 years of self denial.  You need to share this with people you care about and fully trust if you feel that it will better help you along in your journey.  We all need support.  Can your parents alone offer you all the support you need right now to take the next step when and if you take it?  You need to do what's best for you!

 

my 2¢,

Susan R?

[Maid In Bedlam]

Now theres a dilemma if i have ever seen one.

 

You know your bro better than any of us do or are ever likely to.

 

Im no expert on familys. But how about this. Im thinking he will be more upset you did not discuss it with him if he finds out later.

If he is the brother you belive him to be then i guess he will bend over backwalds to be in your corner.

 

BUT.

 

If your appoinment with the therapist is not far away then speak to them about it before you do anything off the cuff. Its always best to get some proper advise about how and when. Im sure if you havent actually done anything around a transition then theres no harm been done. If you do not tell until after your meeting. If you still want to go down the road of Trans . Because when and if you go down that road he will find out eventually.  Another week is not going to make any diffrence as a month is not. However him finding out right in the middle of it when its obvious you decided and just didnt say will make him feel let down and you feeling rubbish for not saying anything.

If you do decide to then perhaps talk to your parents first and ensure they know your justification for telling him. Get them on your side because if i think if you dont then you will just be causing problems down the road.

 

You decide what you want to do with your life before telling other family members

 

So a bit of time will be good. There is no prizes for being in first place on the transition path.

[Lexi C]

I means this with all sincerity. Don't trust anyone...Trust your gut feeling.  your GT will tell its up to you to finally make that transition and( he or she) is not just talking about just your appearance. The GT is talking about your life....Trust yourself,,be kind to yourself. Something will always go wrong until it don't..Much lv