Comming Out To The Military.

[Guest joe0117]

Good Luck Mika,

I will keep you in my thoughts! I hope everything goes smoothly for you!

Joe

[Guest Mika N.]

Thank you Joe.

Well, this week is the big week for Phase II. Omg I'm nervous. This week is going to be interesting. Either I slip by free and clear for now, or end up in front of a Medical Board because my breasts gave me away. lol. I can't believe I'm laughing about this! The girls look perkier than ever, I don't think this will turn out to well.... Anyway they do look lovely.

Mika

[Guest Donna Jean]

Thank you Joe.

Well, this week is the big week for Phase II. Omg I'm nervous. This week is going to be interesting. Either I slip by free and clear for now, or end up in front of a Medical Board because my breasts gave me away. lol. I can't believe I'm laughing about this! The girls look perkier than ever, I don't think this will turn out to well.... Anyway they do look lovely.

Mika

AWwww.... Mika....

I'm sending you positive thoughts....

I realize that if I had been aware when I was in as I am now...I never would of made it through.

So, good luck to you, Sweetheart!

I'm glad the girls are looking good...lol!

Best to you, Honey...

Donna Jean

[Guest Mika N.]

Donna Jean, yes the girls are comming along quite nicely.

Ok good news, good news! Phase II of my ETS physical completed. Everything went smoothly with out a hitch. I would have to say that I'm quite surprised everything went so well. Anyway, phase two pretty much composed of blood pressure, heart rate, various checks of vitals, answering a few questions to determine if I may have developed depression or post traumatic stress disorder, a quick run through of past and present medical conditions. I kept my mouth shut and didn't disclose anything that would raise any further questioning. All this was done by just an Army medic. Next, the doctor stepped in and checked the sound of my heart and breathing with a stethoscope. The only scary part was when I had to lay down on the examination table. The girls were definitely standing at attention, but nothing was said, wow! The doctor then slipped on some gloves and felt around my groin area. I don't understand the reason for that, maybe checking for a pulse down there, lol.

Well, I don't have to worry about the Army physical examinations anymore since that was my final one. Now if stop loss doesn't come into effect, I'll be able to ETS without ever being discovered.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Donna Jean, yes the girls are comming along quite nicely.

Ok good news, good news! Phase II of my ETS physical completed. Everything went smoothly with out a hitch. The girls were definitely standing at attention, but nothing was said, wow! The doctor then slipped on some gloves and felt around my groin area. I don't understand the reason for that, maybe checking for a pulse down there, lol.

Well, I don't have to worry about the Army physical examinations anymore since that was my final one. Now if stop loss doesn't come into effect, I'll be able to ETS without ever being discovered.

Great news, Mika...

OMG, I'm SO happy for you!

That's it...you are past the rapids!

WHEW on the girls!

And the feeling around "down" there ? That's to check for a hernia or testicular lumps or bumps...

So you did GREAT...you're on your way now, Girlfriend!....Good for you!

So, you get a big 'ole {{{{HUGGGGGG}}}}

Now....one LAST thing, right? And finished!

Fingers crossed!

XXOO

Donna Jean

[Guest Mika N.]

Great news, Mika...

OMG, I'm SO happy for you!

That's it...you are past the rapids!

WHEW on the girls!

And the feeling around "down" there ? That's to check for a hernia or testicular lumps or bumps...

So you did GREAT...you're on your way now, Girlfriend!....Good for you!

So, you get a big 'ole {{{{HUGGGGGG}}}}

Now....one LAST thing, right? And finished!

Fingers crossed!

XXOO

Donna Jean

Donna Jean, yes one last thing. Now it is all a waiting game to see if the stop loss order comes into effect.

I'm not free and clear yet unfortunatly.

However, I'm so very happy I made it past that physical. Talk about a lot of stress lifted from my shoulders. **HUGS**

[Guest kate90g]

congrats on getting past all that ! My ETS is not until AUG2011 so I still have awhile to wait glad you decided to wait it out because you would have lost off of your benefits that you would/should be getting like the G.I. Bill anyways good luck to you! (They shouldnt stop-loss you if you already started your clearing process or if your 180 days of your ets so you should be in the clear)

[Guest Gina9223]

Hi Mika,

I wish I’d been here earlier. I’ve been mentoring a young transwoman who’s departing the Army right now. She’s getting out as quitely as possible with the help of her Army shrink.

Yes, stop loss is still in effect. She was on her way to a 4th tour of Iraq and was willing to do it too.

But being Trans and being in the military is dangerous. Being on HRT while in… I had a shipmate who was DIY HRT. They found out during a regular urine test that she was on HRT and it became a bit difficult for her after they disclosed it to EVERYONE on board that vessel.

I don’t know what they’re known to do in the Army, but the Navy they just drop them off any where between Europe and the US. (its really hard to swim to the edge of the Atlantic with a hundred pounds of tiedown chains are around your ankles)

Just be careful little one until you are out and have your DD214 in hand. OK?

[Guest Vivian]

Well, things aren't looking good for me. I'm being told by my chain of command all the way up to Brigade that I am going to Iraq again for my third tour. Still no official orders, but the message seems quite definite that I am going to deploy. I'm pretty tired now of being stressed this way. I've decided to disclose my condition and see what happens to me. I plan on going to visit JAG tomorrow to get some legal counsel as a last ditch effort not to disclose. I'm pretty sure they won't be able to help me much. Thursday I'll see my civilian therapist in which I am supposed to pick up additional paperwork. She is supposed to fill out an official Army Form stating my “fit for duty” status and my “deployability” status. I'm hoping she puts me down as “not fit for duty” and “non-deployable”. I'm pretty sure she will do just that. I'll give her a heads up of what I'm about to do.. Friday, I'll turn in both the Army form and my Therapist's letter to my Army case worker at the SRP site.

I guess this is all for the best, I'm sure the word will get out pretty quickly through my unit and the base that I am a transsexual. Anyway, I'll finally get a better idea of what my destiny is going to be now, I'll find out who are truly my friends, and there will be no more hiding. Depending on how things go, I'll probably go right ahead and tell my family as well..

I'm nervous, sad, and scared. I definitely will have to be more careful while on the base. I'm unsure how some people will react. I'm a bit afraid for my safety. I guess if someone kills me it will save me the trouble of having to do it myself... I just hope I don't suffer too long if something like that happens.

To everyone here, I love you all and thank you supporting me or at least lending me an ear. A special thank you to Donna Jean and Androgynous.

My best wishes to you all.

Vivian

“Well Viv hang on cause you are in for one hell of a ride..”

[Guest Donna Jean]

Vivian..........

Guess who?

Yep, Good 'ole Donna Jean...right here with you like I said I'd be! I'm just that way!

So, I see that it's time for the hold card....the secret weapon....

Well, I'm with you...it's time, Sweetheart! You've been through enough....

You don't need another tour in the sandbox....It's time to get on with your life...

Well, Baby....looking over your letter here ....it seems that you have your ducks in a row and have given this considerable thought....good!

Going to see the JAG is a smart move...try heading it off at the pass...

You are at "H" hour now...Family....friends...Uncle Sam....

You know what?

You sound confident now...You sound as though you have resigned yourself to some peace for a change...well, you deserve it!

We're all here for you...you know that...and just like I have been, I'll still be on PM's if you need me...we'll get through this together if need be....

Hold your head up Viv....

And please don't be gone a week without word to us.......OK

I think I'd go crazy wondering what's going on......

And, Vivian.....

Once this is over ...you're only starting that big ride......

I think that I'm gonna have to ask you to reserve a hugg for me....

All My Love....

Donna Jean

[Guest Evan_J]

I'll definately be thinking about you and hoping for all the best. You're a sweetheart and you deserve to be ok.

[Sally]

Viv,

Sweetheart, I am here for you too, I have no first hand experience with the military but I do know that it is inhuman to send anyone for three tours there.

You have your plan, good luck, stay confident, do stay in touch and be safe.

I hope tha everything works out well for you.

Know that we are all here for you and praying for you.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Jean Davis]

“Well Viv hang on cause you are in for one hell of a ride..”

You are not alone. Even though some of us didn't know how to help, we were there keeping up with every new reply.

We were praying that some how someone would know how to help.

LUV

Jean Davis

[Guest Vivian]

So I didn;t show up for pt formation this morning. mY First seargeant said he wanted to speake to me today. So this morning I met with him. he said that he is doing his best to keep me informed with my situation. I told him that "what ever happens, I am not going to Iraq again". I have lost it. I don't khwow anymore. Oh please God If you exist, help me. I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to live. Why cant they jiust leave me alone and let me DIScharge from the army in peace. I'm tired im tierd im tired. My first sergeant i think fed me some crap. He is watching for his career, I understand this. I hold no hard feeling for him. I think I am going to disclose my transtransexualoity tommorow. If i don't post anymore, then I hope my experiencse serve as an education to other trans here.

it all is false, just live and be happy. wake up. no one cares about you! that is the reality

[Guest Vivian]

your government lies to you. take care of yourselves and your famil8ies. I hope you listen to me. it is the end. I wish you the best. I aam sorry for hurting any of you all. I am just trying to survive.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Vivian.....

Heads up!

PM Heading your way right now!

Donna Jean

[Sally]

Vivian,

Do take care of yourself please.

I hope that you can get back home safely.

Love ya,

Sally

Expect another PM.

[Guest Vivian]

sorry for my recent outbursts, I've been getting into these panic modes sometimes.. I'm embarrassed.

Disclosed to an Army doctor today. She was incredibly nice and comforting to me. Our meeting was private and she did everything to protect my identity. She informed me that gender identity disorder is not considered by the Army as a "medically" unfit condition. However, it is considered to be "administratively" unfit condition.

"AR 40-501 Standards of Medical Fitness

3–35. Personality, psychosexual conditions, transsexual, gender identity, exhibitionism,

transvestism, voyeurism, other paraphilias, or factitious disorders; disorders of impulse control not

elsewhere classified

a. A history of, or current manifestations of, personality disorders, disorders of impulse control not elsewhere

classified, transvestism, voyeurism, other paraphilias, or factitious disorders, psychosexual conditions, transsexual,

gender identity disorder to include major abnormalities or defects of the genitalia such as change of sex or a current

attempt to change sex, hermaphroditism, pseudohermaphroditism, or pure gonadal dysgenesis or dysfunctional residuals

from surgical correction of these conditions render an individual administratively unfit.

b. These conditions render an individual administratively unfit rather than unfit because of physical illness or

medical disability. These conditions will be dealt with through administrative channels, including AR 135–175, AR

135–178, AR 635–200, or AR 600–8–24."

She put me down as "non-deployable", but advises me to go to JAG next, then disclose to my Company Commander if I wanted to be discharged. I didn't get to see a army lawyer yesterday because the soonest they could see me is next week. So I wait now till my appointment next week. It gives me comfort that I am considered "non-deployable", but there is still some work and trials for me to undertake.

I'm hoping that my past conduct and performance history will aid me in keeping an honorable discharge status. The only negative counseling I've recieved was failing a PT test once. I've never recieved any diciplinary actions and always was a competent soldier... I pray for the best.

Vivian

[Guest Donna Jean]

It gives me comfort that I am considered "non-deployable", but there is still some work and trials for me to undertake.

I pray for the best.

Vivian

OMG!

*Dee Jay Faints*

[Guest Evan_J]

God I'm praying with you

[Guest Vivian]

OMG!

*Dee Jay Faints*

Oh my! Donna Jean, are you alright? Dee Jay?!

I hope you are OK.

Love,

Vivian

[Guest Vivian]

Quick update. I have a meeting with my Company Commander this afternoon. I plan on giving him my Therapist's letter. Wish me luck.

Emailed and came out to my brother this morning. I'm still waiting on his response. I hope he is ok.

Vivian

[Guest Donna Jean]

Vivian.....

You know that I am right there with you!

Each and every step....Think of me holding your hand....

Good luck, Baby!

GOOD LUCK!

LOVE

Donna Jean

[Guest Laura Jane]

Hey, girl.............I dunno if this will help you, but I found this excerpt from the bio of Lynn Conway in the article she has on her website from the LA Times:

"That society has begun to grapple openly

with these issues suggests how profoundly

absorbing the subject is. "There’s a little bit

of each gender in each person, so there’s

something intriguing about what exists on

the other side," says George Brown, a

psychiatrist at the Veterans Administration

Medical Center in Johnson City, Tenn. "But

there’s also a threat that in exploring the

subject I might find out something I feel is

very dangerous." This implicit threat may

explain why, over the past 30 years, science

has learned less about the mysteries of gender

than about the origins of the universe.

All this means is that in 1989, a long time ago, there was a researcher with the VA, who might shed some light on what your options might be. Check it out. It may be nothing or it may be something important.

You go, girl..............Laura

[Guest Gina9223]

Sorry I'm coming late to the party.

I have a young one that I'm supporting right now over in another chat. She's in the Army too and is working towards discharge. She's encounterd some similar issues.

Its sad that I keep hearing over and over again that current therapists and medical clinics in the military don't know what to do when a transgender person comes in. After all of the people I've talked too you'd think that someone, somewhere would sit down and write a 123abc pamplet on how to treat trans people correctly in the military.

I'll send you a pm, we can talk if you need too.