Body shame is it a real thing?

[Moira Arista]

Hello. I don't know about anyone else but does body shame plague you, it does me. I've always known that I was supposed to be a female. I knew the first time I saw a vagina. I hate penises. I hate the fact that I have one. I stopped looking down there a decade or so ago when I shower. I feel a mark of shame when I look at it. I say to myself why! Penises are so  ugly and for us trans females completely unnecessary as we will never use them. Also for our trans Male friends a vagina does them no good either I feel.

[Jackie C.]

Oh my god yes. Not only do I not like my... well, didn't, it's been better since I started transitioning... right, ashamed by my own body and feel absolutely skeeved out about showing it to other people. Locker-room time had me feeling like a frog on a highway. The first time I was able to recline in a way that obscured my "equipment" made me happy-cry.

 

As a lesbian, I also agree about the penis thing. Some people like them, and I'm happy that my wife isn't repulsed by mine. Still looking forward to GCS though. I am so looking forward to being right.

 

Hugs!

[ShawnaLeigh]

For me the shame of an over all male appearance gets to me.  I want to see that women in the mirror when I look into one.  I know this can happen with make up, wigs, clothing but I am talking about just me.  No artwork not accessories.  I dnt see her I still see just "him" and I hate that.

As for my genitals, I am neither ok nor hating them.  They are a means to an end for now.  Though I do not like to stand and pee even though I can.  My size is small and this can be a trial sometimes.  It still seems to work in the bedroom but I tend to not go that far lately as I can satisfy my wife in ways she prefers better.  I would like it better if "it" wasn't there to be truthful.

[NB Adult]

Wait awhile if you think it's small now, it will really atrophy after awhile. After my surgical neutering I had a tough time even finding the little monster, sitting to pee became a must. 

[Jackie C.]

Exactly, I don't need it to satisfy my wife and after menopause... sort of... it's complicated... she has trouble with penetrative sex anyway. I always preferred foreplay to the actual act anyway. Most of my joy comes from pleasing my partner anyway. If I just wanted an orgasm, I can do that by myself.

 

I'm still excited to have my genitals renovated though. That will be a tremendous relief.

 

Hugs!

[NB Adult]

I can totally relate Jackie! What was really frustrating to me was once we settled on the fact that she was no longer interested in penetrative sex and that I was free to have an orchiectomy. Following my surgery she visited a naturopathic doctor who put her on bio-identical HRT to help her with ongoing hot flashes. Suddenly she became hotter than a firecracker and wanted sex again. *Moan* It took some innovative remedies until she got past the intense desire and decided that a certain little toy was more than sufficient.

[ShawnaLeigh]

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

Most of my joy comes from pleasing my partner anyway

This has always been my feelings too.  
 

[NB Adult]

It's what makes us different during intimacy from the male populace who are like drag sedans going through the lights at the end of the quarter mile while the partner has just barely started to get her motor purring.

[Moira Arista]

2 hours ago, NB Adult said:

It's what makes us different during intimacy from the male populace who are like drag sedans going through the lights at the end of the quarter mile while the partner has just barely started to get her motor purring.

That is a very interesting way to put it. It is accurate as men feel like they must just bang away till they get off. I love cars so this made me laugh out loud. Men are quarter mile sexual beings while we girls are more like, a Antique Ferrari. We need warming up. The warmer we are the better. Foreplay is that warming up process. We like foreplay. Quality not efficiency for us. At least for me.

[NB Adult]

42 minutes ago, Mahaney said:

That is a very interesting way to put it. It is accurate as men feel like they must just bang away till they get off. I love cars so this made me laugh out loud. Men are quarter mile sexual beings while we girls are more like, a Antique Ferrari. We need warming up. The warmer we are the better. Foreplay is that warming up process. We like foreplay. Quality not efficiency for us. At least for me.

 

Absolutely true and unfortunately most men don't get it and part of it is because by nature they are emotionally distant which makes that, the most important part of the connection missing entirely, and so the rest is just all the outward mechanics of sex. A lot of women are frustrated by it, while their men are oblivious. Kind of sad really!

[Moira Arista]

43 minutes ago, NB Adult said:

 

Absolutely true and unfortunately most men don't get it and part of it is because by nature they are emotionally distant which makes that, the most important part of the connection missing entirely, and so the rest is just all the outward mechanics of sex. A lot of women are frustrated by it, while their men are oblivious. Kind of sad really!

If a man or women with a strap wanted to have intercourse with me I would be like ok start the process. I probably wouldn't have to tell my lesbian lover. My male lover would have to be told. Eh, you don't get in the backdoor with out jiggling the lock first.

[NB Adult]

43 minutes ago, Mahaney said:

If a man or women with a strap wanted to have intercourse with me I would be like ok start the process. I probably wouldn't have to tell my lesbian lover. My male lover would have to be told. Eh, you don't get in the backdoor with out jiggling the lock first.

 

LOL yes indeed!

[Moira Arista]

Also, in the body shame category is body hair for us girls/no hair for you guys. Thanks to my Asian roots, I have less hair then most cisgender women I know. I have noticed a few hairs in non female appropriate areas. My facial hair shames me as does my apple. other then that dolphin smooth and hopefully to stay that way.

[ShawnaLeigh]

11 hours ago, Mahaney said:

Men are quarter mile sexual beings

Lol

I wish I was 1/4 mile dash!!!!
I was more like 40yrd dash.

I had zero sexual “stamina “.  I joke about it now but it was a real issue for me.  
I wasn’t about self gratification.  I just couldn’t “last” that long.  So I adopted a more female approach to sex in way way more foreplay and then still very little intercoarse    Most women I had slept with did not mind.  Though that wasn’t a lot.  Lol

[NB Adult]

14 hours ago, Mahaney said:

Also, in the body shame category is body hair for us girls/no hair for you guys. Thanks to my Asian roots, I have less hair then most cisgender women I know. I have noticed a few hairs in non female appropriate areas. My facial hair shames me as does my apple. other then that dolphin smooth and hopefully to stay that way.

 

I recall most of the Vietnamese women I knew had very little if any pubic hair, don't ask me how I know *Blush*

That may have been true for the men as well.

[TommieAnne]

7 hours ago, Nivegnal said:

Lol

I wish I was 1/4 mile dash!!!!
I was more like 40yrd dash.

I had zero sexual “stamina “.  I joke about it now but it was a real issue for me.  
I wasn’t about self gratification.  I just couldn’t “last” that long.  So I adopted a more female approach to sex in way way more foreplay and then still very little intercoarse    Most women I had slept with did not mind.  Though that wasn’t a lot.  Lol

I hadn't thought about any of this much until I saw this topic. That is, not consciously.

Mine is very small. I asked a therapist once why if God were omnipotent he would have a penis? They're such unruly things. In the shame department, having an erection  (which thankfully I've not had in years) and very furry body hair give me full red faced burning shame.

I understand about the foreplay as a contrast to how men think and act. There's aroused and then there's AROUSED. Unfortunately men seem to think getting our attention with a slight tickle to get our attention is enough, when they would be very pleased with the results of actually getting us full blown turned on.

My stamina, like yours, was often a 20 yard dash. Now I find I could lay there in total ecstasy for hours.