Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

I just hit Send... OMG OMG OMG!!!!


ShawnaLeigh

Recommended Posts

I am a mess right now.  Trying to keep together and need some forum love right now.

I just wrote a heart felt letter to my sister coming out to her.  I have not gotten a reply yet.

I am afraid of what she will say but hope for the best.

I hope in time this will get easier because I about spent with tears and emotions.  I am physically exhausted from crying all the time.

I know I need to do this for myself but it is so hard.

She was the easy one too.

I will post later her summed up reply.

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

She will think what ever she thinks.  Its not up to you at this point.  Take a deep breath and relax.  Don't let the stress over take the joy.  

Link to comment
  • Admin

You've done what you can, ShawnaLeigh.  Hoping for the best and preparing for the worst is all you can do at this point.  IMO, you've done the right thing.  I hope with all my heart that she is understanding and supportive. 

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@ShawnaLeigh I had the exact same feeling when I hit the send button on those 'coming out' emails with my siblings. By then, it was a matter of me losing my mind or living as I was meant to live.  Let's hope all goes well for you but as Jani stated...you can't change someone's else's mind.

 

its crazy to think we live in a day and age when a person can click a mouse or press a button and their entire life can change in an instant.

 

Best to you,

Susan R?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Deep breath. One way or another, it will all be OK in the end. She probably just needs some time to process... or hasn't even read it yet. Give her a little space and she'll come to you. A little like feeding a baby deer.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Honestly I know why she hasn't replied yet.  I was Messaging with her before she went to work.  I had to make sure I had a good email address for "just her".  I feel badly because I sorta freaked her out a bit telling her I had some tings to tell her but it was to be super secret.  

I expect a reply sometime tonight or tomorrow but of what I am not sure. 

Now that I have had some time to think I do feel a bit better knowing I told somebody in my family.  I expect this to just get harder and harder as I go.  

My wife of course being the hardest to over come my fears.  

I feel ashamed I was not able to start with her.  She deserved to be first.

Link to comment

Hang in there. Non response isn't necessarily bad. She might be busy. She might be like me and have her phone on the charger downstairs. Or she might be pondering what you wrote, not wanting to reply hastily.

At any rate, you just have to wait a bit and see how things develop.

I applaud your courage.

Link to comment

Just keep breathing. It was a very courageous thing you just did. Try not to overthink it. You’ll hopefully have a reply soon. 
 

*hugs*

Link to comment
7 hours ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

I am a mess right now.  Trying to keep together and need some forum love right now.

I just wrote a heart felt letter to my sister coming out to her.  I have not gotten a reply yet.

I am afraid of what she will say but hope for the best.

 

Sisters occasionally turn out to be your best advocate!

Link to comment

My thoughts too. 
No reply yet.  She must need some time to process.

im starting to feel I may of done this wrong somehow.  Dropped to much on her.  
Especially since we haven’t talked much for a long while.  All of a sudden it’s a nuclear bomb in her email.   Kind of not fair to her.  
(Damn it).  

Link to comment

Shawna. You are overthinking it. It will drive you nuts.

 

Just sit tight and wait for a reply.

 

You did what you had to do to survive. For better or worse to be yourself it had to be done sometime. You wasnt going to hide forever.

 

However I do hope its a very nice response you recieve.  One way or another you know where you stand

Link to comment

OK Update.

I am a dumb ass.  Or was just so nervous I don't know.  Probably both...

I misspelled her dang email address.

She never got it.

I sent a quick iMessage just asking if she got it.  I had seen her posting on Facebook and she seemed like her normal goofy self.

I was kind of upset over that.  I drop some serious feelings on her and she goes about her evening like it was nothing and does not reply. -what the heck-?!?!

Only to find out this morning it was my fault.

I tossed and turned all night.  I even checked my phone twice to see if she was just waiting to reply later in the evening.  Sleepless and now fairly drag-ass this morning.

 

Of course now someone out there has this torn open heart email about being transgender that I don't even know.

Great... (sigh)

Though if I look positively on that point.  That's two people that know now.  LOL

 

Link to comment

two do know. Not including this us lot.

 

You sure it never got returned as un deliverable?

 

Im a bit of a clux when it comes to email address. But they do get returned.

 

If nothing else .. next tiime you send it.. you will be prepared for what happens to you. Perhaps it will make it a little easier if you know your potential reaction

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

It's going to work out.  I had to smile as that's the kind of thing i do on the confuser.  I'm always amazed when things actually work.  Let us know how it works out.  In the meantime take a deep breath and remember to breath out.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi ShawnaLeigh,

We all go through those same feelings with our first letter. Scared to death, terrified of what might happen. It's normal. Remind yourself that you really don't know what will happen. As was said before, hope for the best, and prepare for the worst.

 

I remember when I sent my first email to one of my sisters. I hope you get as beautiful a reply as I got. Good luck.

 

Lots of love, 

Timber Wolf ?

Link to comment

Update 2.

She sent me a quick iMessage as she was in one of her classes.

These were her first four texts.  She sent them bing, bing, bang before I could reply.   I was a mess.

 

"I love you so much"

 

"I'm not angry, in fact part of me is smiling that you trust me so much to tell me this. I can only imagine the fear to do so."

 

"You have my FULL support.  In fact I'm probably the best person in our family to come out to with this."

 

"I can't even imagine what you've gone through.  It must of been hell.  I'm so proud that you've been able to take these first steps, which are terrifying."

 

At that point I broke down and balled I was so happy and relieved.  While I was at work.  I didn't care.  Though I do have my own office so that helped.

 

Link to comment

Thats awesome. May i be the first to say a big YAY.

 

So glad it all went better than expected. You have taken a big step.

 

You should be very proud of yourself

Link to comment

The sense of relief is unbelievable.

I hope they all respond like my sister did.  The fear is so debilitating.  I never knew I had that in me.

She even used my new name and closed with a "Love Ya Sis..."  

I feel amazing. 

I know its just a start on a road to many more.  Some I have little doubt will not be so joyous.  I expect I will loose more then I keep actually.  I have hope thoguh.

It all doesn't matter though to me right now. 

Only my wife does.

If we can survive me coming out to her and we stay together.  THEN I will celebrate!!!

 

Thank you all so much for your support.  I know I keep saying this but you all help me more then I can say.  I love you girls (and guys).

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Congratulations! Your first time is always the hardest... that sounded vaguely dirty, so not my intent. Anyway, it gets easier as you include more people, at least it did for me. The wife is still going to be a hurdle. That was the hardest one, but for me -- so long as I had her -- the rest didn't matter. It's almost casual now.

 

For example I got e-mailed by a friend to invite me to an event a couple days ago. I sent back, "Since the last time we talked, I've come out as a trans-woman. Is that going to be a problem?"

He said, "OK with me."

Then we were done. Though now I have to figure out what I'm going to wear and what I want to make as a dish to pass.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
5 hours ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

I can't even imagine what you've gone through.  It must of been hell. 

So many of my family said this.  

 

See it wasn't so bad after all.  Next time be careful with email addresses!  

Jani

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jani said:

Next time be careful with email addresses!  

OMG I had forgotten about that already.  Anxiety again. Thanks....  LOL

Link to comment
  • Admin

So wonderful to hear your news, ShawnaLeigh.  :applause:  You now have one strong supporter and ally in your family.  That alone will make all the next family members easier to tell.  She's got your back, and that is priceless. 

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment

So final update.  
I had a wonderful day just chit chatting with my sister all day long via Messenger.   
It was so amazing to be treated as the women I am.  For who I really am.  She treated me Like a sister, like it has been like this our whole lives.  
 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   11 Members, 0 Anonymous, 162 Guests (See full list)

    • MaeBe
    • Riya
    • Petra Jane
    • Mmindy
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • April Marie
    • MaryEllen
    • Ashley0616
    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • Carolyn Marie
    • Stacie.H
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.7k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,034
    • Most Online
      8,356

    ArtavikenGenderflui
    Newest Member
    ArtavikenGenderflui
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. afraid of self
      afraid of self
    2. Chaidoesart
      Chaidoesart
      (14 years old)
    3. Faith57
      Faith57
    4. Joyce Ann
      Joyce Ann
      (70 years old)
    5. Kelly21121
      Kelly21121
      (56 years old)
  • Posts

    • Sorourke
      Hi I’ve shaved, epilated and used creams but hair always grows back stubbly and myself and wife hate it maybe the only way really is blockers or hrt
    • VickySGV
      For a bunch of reasons -- Let's not and say we did!!  
    • Carolyn Marie
      We should submit all of the poetry from this site's Poetry Forum and see what they think of all that good stuff!    I'd love to frame their rejection letter.   Carolyn Marie
    • VickySGV
      Your brother is the person who has decided that "sin" is involved because he has lost control of a part of his life by you taking on your authentic self.  It is not because you have committed any Sin per se, but because he is no longer controlling your life, evangelicism or other wise.  He is using formula words and ideas hoping to re-gain that control over you.  Your Roman Catholicism vs. his choices of religion would be enough to do it in many many cases.  Your being Trans is just one more area of his losing his control.   If your brother were also Roman Catholic, I suspect he would be the same way about you on just the Trans issue itself no matter what your priests would tell him -- he has lost control of your life and is afraid he has lost control of his life.    Family members of any religion who fear loss of control will often cite scriptures they believe support their Position.  If Bible verses are needed, Matthew. 10:34-8 which speaks of division in families over religion would be a casual point directed at your brother's control issues. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      This might help. These are the grace and lace letters dealing with Christianity and transgenderism from someone who struggled with the "conflict".   https://www.digitaltransgenderarchive.net/catalog?f[collection_name_ssim][]=Grace+and+Lace+Letter&sort=dta_sortable_date_dtsi+asc%2C+title_primary_ssort+asc  
    • Sorourke
      Back again love conquers all I don’t think my wife and kids would hold me hostage but if I explain it right to them it might prove how much I’ve lived them over many years
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I am an evangelical  I am also transgender.  This is an issue. I have read up on it.  I am not an expert, but I have done a lot of reading.   One thing I do not get about people who take that position is that evangelicals are all about salvation by faith alone by Christ alone by grace alone - unless you are transgender.  Then you cannot be saved, these say, unless you do the work of un-transgendering yourself.  Which is, practically, impossible.  I have read the "solutions" and I don't buy them, obviously, because they do not work.    In evangelicalism salvation is by faith alone, Christ alone, grace alone, without any merit of our own.  That means, to an evangelical, we come to Christ as we are,  in the words of a glorious hymn,   1 Just as I am, without one plea, but that thy blood was shed for me, and that thou bidd'st me come to thee, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.   2 Just as I am, and waiting not to rid my soul of one dark blot, to thee, whose blood can cleanse each spot, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.   3 Just as I am, though tossed about with many a conflict, many a doubt, fightings and fears within, without, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.   4 Just as I am, thou wilt receive, wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve; because thy promise I believe, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.   We do not clean ourselves up BEFORE we come to Christ.  We let Him clean us up AFTER we come to Him.    Those who insist that transgender people cannot be saved are actually preaching another Gospel, a Gospel of works, and have wandered away from the glorious Gospel into works.  That is strong but true.   Struggling with legalism and grace, I have found more of God's mercy and grace available to me because I struggle with being transgender and seeking His resolution of it.  Which, not having the struggle, I would not have needed to seek Him earnestly on this.     
    • Jet McCartney
      Eventually, (especially if you start T,) things will even out. The excitement you feel is from everything being so new. Finally knowing yourself and having others recognise you can be thrilling. However, because it is your natural state of being, eventually that wears off. There's nothing exciting about it anymore because it's "just you." (Which is a perfect thing to be!) This, however, can lead to disappointment. Trust me when I say however, that that disappointment and jarring reaction to wrong pronouns will go away, and you'll once again feel comfortable in yourself.
    • Ashley0616
      I love long hair. I'm wanting my hair to touch the floor. I guess we shall see how long it can get.
    • Ashley0616
    • Ivy
      I wear a wig most of the time.  But I can get by with my natural (shoulder length) hair if I wear a hat or something to cover the mostly empty top. Unfortunately that train has left the station, sigh.
    • Ashley0616
      Normal is a word in the dictionary and a setting on washing machine. 
    • Ashley0616
      Spending time with my kids amazing!
    • Ashley0616
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...