Hey I'm Ollie...and My Mum Just Found Out That I Bind

[Guest ollie13]

Hey...so I'm Ollie and I'm 17

I'm kinda new to this site and until now, I've believed myself to be FtM.

But jeez...my head has been pretty messed up lately!

So I've always been a tomboy anyway but when I was about 13 I realised that I was'nt in the right body.

Something just clicked and everything made sense!

I'd jump at the chance to have top surgery and some kind-of miraculous surgery to straighten out the dreaded curves.

I've forced myself to submit to gender norms and wear girls clothes (boyish ones anyway) before now.

This past year I've paid more attention to my appearance and been passing as a guy in public.

But there's one problem (well there's lots of problems ha!)

It's my mother.

She spends every waking minute trying to make me look, dress and act like a girl:

She brings me home girls clothes, sends me to get fitted for bras and makes me go to a women's hair salon to get my hair cut (I end up cutting it myself anyway!)

But earlier today, I was playing my drums at home and the bandages I was wearing (as a binder) came undone and fell out of the bottom of my shirt. God, it was awful.

She asked what the hell was going on and I ran upstairs. Then she followed me and said she's noticed that I'd been 'padded up' before. And said she was worried.

So...I told her the truth. That i felt as though I'd been born into the wrong body. She then procceded to tell me that I was'nt a man and that I had a beautiful body...that I was tall and that she'd kill for my boobs (bleugh...she can have them!) Then she spent the next 20 minutes going on about how I was a girl and that I'd ruin my breasts forever if I kept hiding them (even talking about them makes me sick! .

It was a nasty experience.

So now I'm scared to tell anyone anything - I mean, I don't even know whats going on anyway.

I did come out to a school counsellor, but she basically tried to find the root of the problem (as if something had triggered this).

Jeez I dunno!

I think that if i told my family that I'm androgynous/genderqueer/FtM they would'nt believe me.

But joining this site had helped me a lot...so thanks guys

[Guest Eth]

I think you should really try to convince your mom that you need a Gender Therapist. If you play your cards right, she might just agree to it. It's definitely important for you to have one so that you can figure things out, and get a diagnosis that might really prove to your mother that you are who you say you are.

Good luck,

-Eth

[Guest Kerasa]

When I first found what I might be, my school counselor tried to root it as dissociative identity disorder and then she thought I was like this. So I totally agree with Eth, a Gender Therapist is the route to go just make sure they're legit.

Welcome to The Playground

[Sally]

You definately need to see a gender therapist - the best way to get your mother to take you to one is to explain that they are trained in identifying just this sort of thing and will be able to help you to find out what the problem really is.

She should want to find out and help you - if there is a chance (in her mind) that the gender therapist will tell you that you are not Transgendered, she will take you.

It isn't always the cards that you are dealt that matters, sometimes the way you play them does.

Love ya,

Sally

[gennee]

Welcome to the posts, Ollie. I agree with every one here that a gender therapist is in order. They can help you to sort out your feelings

Gennee

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Dearest Ollie,

Welcome to Laura's!! You now have a very knowing and understanding support group for you. You have taken a very important step by letting your mother know and by joining here and helping to confirm who you know who are. You are now safe to post, and express all that is on your mind. Do not be afraid, you will always be respected. Your gender identity issues are real and demand to be reconciled. Your mother needs to understand this.

Welcome my child.

bernii

[Guest 1charlotte1]

I'm so sorry about it mothers reaction, I can imagine that was terrible for you, I am also struggling to come out to my parents, but as the rest have said a therapist is the way to go. U also need to be very firm with ur mother or she won't take u seriously. Don't back down! Make sure shed knows how serious this is for u.

Best of luck! Charlotte

P.S. If u need to talk or need support just send me a message

[Guest Sophie H]

Sorry that your mother reacted like that, but unfortunatley a lot do. Keep trying to get her to allow you to see a Gender Therapist as I am sure this will help you both.