Vibrators

[Lucca]

Time for some TMI! I've been on hormones for awhile, and I'm now at the point where my penis is pretty feminized, no longer having spontaneous erections, not getting very hard, and having trouble feeling pleasure from stroking. I'd like to try to maintain some erectile function for penetration in the future, and I've read that you need to "exercise" the penis on a regular basis to be able to still get erections. Since stroking isn't really doing it anymore, I want to try a vibrator. Does anyone have experience with vibrators for feminized penises? Is there a particular one that's good for our needs? I thought I might get this one:

 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01DCHMIF2/ref=ox_sc_act_image_1?smid=AOSZMT5RQVVJA&psc=1

[ShawnaLeigh]

For me when I was in this situation I found nothing really "did it" for me.  The HRT killed my drive and I was glad for it.  I felt a calm I had never felt before and preferred it to "the drive".   I can safely say my libido was non existent.  I basically did not care to get it hard or simulated in any way and was glad to have it small and not doing any "man things" anymore.  

Not saying I was ready to not have sex anymore, by no means, I was just not interested in the male version of it any longer.

So sorry I am no help with this.  

Since I have been off HRT for about a month I am finding things are "waking up" on a daily basis.  Which is not what I am wanting at all.

Id be lying if I say I have not taken advantage of the change with my wife but I was happy with it being "the other way" while on HRT.

[Lucca]

Don't get me wrong, I like that it's smaller, doesn't get as hard, does not go erect on its own, and that I have a more female sex drive. I just want to maintain some amount of erectile function. Plus, you know, just have an easier way to "have fun" than getting a cramp from my arm having to work so much more.

[ShawnaLeigh]

Oh I understand that.  I don't think its a lost cause.  Don't get me wrong.  You may find something to assist in what you are looking for.  I just don't have any good suggestions. 

 

I am sure I could get and maintain something "usable" for the deed.  I was always surprised at the lack of wanting to is what struck me as weird while I was on HRT.  I always had a very health sex drive.  VERY healthy.  To not feel that male aspect anymore was weird but wonderful to me.  Like I was shedding something I loved that I realized I did not want.  

Yes I am weird.

 

[TommieAnne]

47 minutes ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

Oh I understand that.  I don't think its a lost cause.  Don't get me wrong.  You may find something to assist in what you are looking for.  I just don't have any good suggestions. 

 

I am sure I could get and maintain something "usable" for the deed.  I was always surprised at the lack of wanting to is what struck me as weird while I was on HRT.  I always had a very health sex drive.  VERY healthy.  To not feel that male aspect anymore was weird but wonderful to me.  Like I was shedding something I loved that I realized I did not want.  

Yes I am weird.

 

No you're not weird. Or else we're weird in the same way. Long before my full understanding of what I am, my penis had shrunk considerably, erections vanished, sex drive plummeted. What sex drive I do retain is after anything but penetrating someone, just to be loved, caressed and held.

[Jackie C.]

I think I'm in about the same boat you are. The thing is, everything works if I take the time to, um, warm up the engine. It's mostly a mental game. I pick a fantasy out of my exhaustive library (I have a vivid and probably weird imagination) and immerse myself in it. Usually, but not always while in the shower. It takes a little longer, but the mental game is the main event. I basically stimulate myself while living in my head space and things just happen. They happen a little differently, but they happen.

 

It's the same with a partner. We warm each other up, add some physical stimulation to the appropriate areas when our partner is ready, then climax. Again, takes longer than it did when I had Testosterone in my system, at least a half hour, but it's happy work.

 

I can't comment on the vibrator though. I'm holding off until after my bottom surgery. Assuming all goes according to plan, the ribbon comes off on National Star Wars day so I might get something light-saber themed.

 

I wouldn't worry though. It's basically like puberty all over again, except now your new toy needs to be stimulated a little differently. Play with it a bit and I'm sure you'll figure it out. Billions of women have... um... come before you. You'll get what works for you.

 

Hugs!

[Lucca]

I got the vibrator I linked, and it certainly does what I want it to. I think it's technically for non-erotic massage use, but if you read the reviews, over half the reviewers are clearly not using it that way.

[Jackie C.]

Ha! I hadn't noticed that. Yeah, totally marketed towards neck and back pain. I hadn't paid attention to the reviews either. Wow.

 

I'm still holding out for Darth Vader. It's a little expensive but I kind of want to give the Dark Side a bit of a whirl. Yes, I know I'm a huge geek.

 

Good vibrations!

 

Hugs!                                        

[Lucca]

One of those dildo-style vibrators made for penetration wouldn't work as well for me, obvs, which is why I went with this one, which I saw on some kind of trans-specific vibrator list somewhere. The head is very large and flat.

[Jackie C.]

Yeah, I know those. Designed more for clitoral/labia stimulation rather than penetration or delivering vibration to the g-spot. I did my research. My wife has never, ever used a toy in the bedroom so she was kind of hopeless as a source of information.

 

Good to know it's working for you though!

 

Hugs!

[JanePlain]

I can't remember how long I was on HRT but like so many people my libido crashed.  It felt perfectly normal to have no interest and I even found ways to avoid getting sexual.  Sure hugs and so on were nice but in a marriage I guess its pretty obvious that going through all these changes plus that felt like rejection to my significant other.  So I brought it up to my endo and she mentioned that my testosterone levels were low.  Which meant nothing to me because I thought that was the goal.  It was many months of frustraiting problems and it finially dawned on me after looking at a computer medical chart of my labs over time that what my endo was saying is "your testosterone levels are low for normal female range."  So I went in and asked how we could try to do something about it because I have already had Orchiectomy so I wasn't making nearly enough from my adrenal glands.  And I was told few mtf women do. So I started adding a small amount of a gel and wow... Sex started being something on my mind. Like a lot. I want to tell everyone about it but its TMI and I'm starting to feel like the "sex maniac" which I really don't want to do.  Oh! And btw it also restored a lot of lost energy. My doctor had me on Adderall to keep from falling asleep all the time.  And please understand. This is not enough testosterone to goof up transition.  If its under 100 ng/dL from your labs your ok. 

 

Sex is one of the best aspects of transition.  And having a sex life with your partner again removes a lot of fears that your not into her/him or that your suddenly not interested because HRT is making you interested in men (Assuming you weren't before) or whatever. That alone is something I think we owe giving some thought to since it sounds like most of you are still with your spouses. Then TMI ALERT there is the actual sex stuff. If you still have "it" you don't need to worry about erections because thats why God invented strapons.  And if your the type that doesn't want to do PIV sex its a great solution.  My dysphoria over using "it" for PIV sex is so bad I can't climax that way. I just don't want any boy parts in the equation. And strapon sex means you can have some variety and the equipment never fails at the worst time. And maybe I'm weird but I find it very exciting.  I'm a bit repressed so it seems way out wild to me.

 

Reaching climax is different. Its not quite as easy and it does take more time and effort. Without sounding too much like a perv watching some adult videos of women masturbating was educational and something I would suggest you try.  Circular motion with lots of lube when there is no erection is how I figured things out.  Now that I've regained a libido and it appears my sexual wiring is firming up female for the first time I understand "There!  Don't stop what your doing" or "Shut up!" when your getting close. Also I for the first time I believe the statement "I didn't orgasm but it was still pretty good."  It is!  But when you do climax? OMG.... However you rated male orgasm this is 100x better.  No kidding.  Its not just a short focused bit of euphoria its your whole body zinging in climax and if the stimulation continues they can last a very long time. And while I've not explored it yes (Because of course this never works for men) you can start again and have more then one without the annoying refactory period.  And while I'm trying to get my new wiring figured out my SO is always having an orgasm and even two regularly while I'm working up to the first. If THAT doesn't improve your relationship issues?

 

Vibrators are a topic we've studied in some detail. There is a ton of junk ones that are not strong enough and others clearly invented by men who don't understand things. The best advice you will ever get is to buy a Hitachi Magic Wand Vibe. They sell these things in drug stores as "back massagers" but I suspect its 10,000:1 being used sexually versus sore back muscles. Its amazing...  And get the kind with a cord. Battery vibes always run down when you really really need them to keep going.  My one word of advice is to get an extension cord because they always come with one that pulls out of the socket right when your there.

 

Sorry about the long message - I hope that you with low to no libido will give it a try. I think you will find it amazing for both of you.

[DragonflyGirl]

I like my rabbit vibrator. It's really important, when you don't have a vagina, that you choose a design with something to stop it going right in. Anyone with nurse friends will probably know what I mean!