Skeptical Therapists?

[Belle]

My wife and I have been seeing a marriage counselor (a sex therapist) for over a year. He has helped immensely. Over the last month or so I have been experiencing gender dysphoria and he has been a part of it.

 

Today he seemed alarmed when my wife told him I am calling myself transgender. He knows I'm experiencing GD. But he was trying to refute the idea that my experiences are clear signs of gender incongruence. He was also asking me questions that were designed to see if he could label it as something else.

 

It does not help my situation with my wife at all to keep giving her reasons to dismiss what I'm going through.

 

Has anyone else dealt with this sort of thing?

[YharnamDreamDaddy]

It's hard to compare as I know the care in my country is completely different but, perhaps an idea would be to seek out a therapist specialised in Gender Dysphoria? 
Maybe on the side of your general counsellor? Would it perhaps help in making your wife feel at ease, to know you're going to a specialist and that the general counsellor is just for your marriage/couple life? 

Sending all the hugs and best wishes! 

[ShawnaLeigh]

6 hours ago, Belle said:

It does not help my situation with my wife at all to keep giving her reasons to dismiss what I'm going through.

OMG you DONT need that at all!!!  She has enough negative outside interference from your church!??

I understand that the therapist will focus on what he knows or thinks may help but he clearly is not a gender therapist nor remotely qualified as such to make such accusations.  IMO.
(After everything we had talked about privately I feel like he just threw gas on the fire.)
Even a regular Marriage Counsellor would not be able to help much with the transgender equations added.  Unfortunately you need a trans couple therapist to help with all this.  
Even a regular gender therapist can at least help her understand what it is like for trans folks.  

I feel like your uphill battle just turned into a cliff.  
?

 

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Belle,

This appears to show your marriage counselors lack of knowledge on transgender issues. I agree with Shawna that you should seek someone with transgender therapy experience.

 

Lots of love, 

Timber Wolf ?

[Jackie C.]

Yeah, I have to agree with everyone else... well, everybody except your sex therapist. You need a gender therapist, preferably one with experience counseling couples. A regular therapist isn't really qualified to make that judgement and, if they're behaving in an ethical manner, would be the first person to tell you that and refer you to someone else.

 

I'm sorry Belle. You seem to just have the WORST outside influences in your life. You keep trying to stand up for yourself and they keep trying to sweep your legs.

 

Hugs!

[ShawnaLeigh]

43 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

You keep trying to stand up for yourself and they keep trying to sweep your legs

Agreed and it makes my heart hurt for you hon.  It really does.  ??❤️❤️

[Belle]

17 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

I'm sorry Belle. You seem to just have the WORST outside influences in your life. You keep trying to stand up for yourself and they keep trying to sweep your legs.

Yes. Depression is dangerous when these things happen. They don't seem to realize it's this bad for me. And I'm afraid to admit it because I don't want to deal with the consequences of getting past a certain point but not going all the way. I have to keep trying to crawl out of the emotional corner I get backed into.

 

This is all still so new to me. My lifelong depression was manageable until I realized what was going on inside of me. Then the dysphoria started screaming at me and I'm on the brink almost every day now. Has anyone else experienced that?

[Jackie C.]

10 hours ago, Belle said:

This is all still so new to me. My lifelong depression was manageable until I realized what was going on inside of me. Then the dysphoria started screaming at me and I'm on the brink almost every day now. Has anyone else experienced that?

 

Yes. I very much had the dysphoria beansidhe (banshee if you don't do gaelic) screaming at me. It did not help the depression. On the plus side, with HRT, counseling and my upcoming GCS I'm getting better. I'm honestly happy to see myself in the mirror every morning (you know, now). That's the smile that starts my day.

 

Hugs!

[Firenze]

1 hour ago, Suzanne1 said:

Well, I think ruling out other possible conditions would be an essential part (differential diagnosis?) of the diagnostic process.  Personally, I've always thought that GD/GID was pretty much a self-diagnosed condition, but will not argue that with any certainty.  Seems though a professional would need to ask sufficient questions so as to determine whether the GID/TG symptoms that the client perceives is masking another condition.

 

This an old thread.  Hopefully things are going better for everyone, at this time.

I agree, I think skepticism can be very beneficial in terms of trying to get the proper diagnosis and not misidentifying any underlying symptoms or conditions. 

[TommieAnne]

On 12/25/2019 at 12:02 AM, Belle said:

Yes. Depression is dangerous when these things happen. They don't seem to realize it's this bad for me. And I'm afraid to admit it because I don't want to deal with the consequences of getting past a certain point but not going all the way. I have to keep trying to crawl out of the emotional corner I get backed into.

 

This is all still so new to me. My lifelong depression was manageable until I realized what was going on inside of me. Then the dysphoria started screaming at me and I'm on the brink almost every day now. Has anyone else experienced that?

Yes. Once I realized what was really at work, I had about one day of calm euphoria.

Then things hit like a tidal wave! For now my Laser Hair Removal treatments have been the gate holding back the flood. But I keep feeling like I'm tripping over my testicles when I walk and I can't figure out how to get that to stop.

It's difficult to face life, nearly impossible to finish a project, let alone do the chores that need to be done.

Not all couples therapists are helpful. I've had one or two bum ones in my life and it sounds like you found another one. It reads more like the therapist has an agenda than a desire to really help.

TA