Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

I sorta came out to my HR dept.


ShawnaLeigh

Recommended Posts

Well I did and did not.  I wrote to the University HR department  as I am an employee.  However I am an employee to. Partnership program in which I work as a contract technician so it gets confusing on what how or who I need to inform. I wrote to ask for advice on how I should come out to the many levels of departments and management.  If there were protocols and official procedures since I.do not work for the hospitals I work at.  Etc.
In essence I did come out as my opening sentence was very direct.  
“I need advice on how to come out as MtF transgender to my upper management.”

I was nervous about that and a tad apprehensive to hit send.  It ended up being a short email but said and asked a lot.  
So I worked up my courage and sent it. 
I get a Very fast reply. 
Closed until Jan 2.  Lol

(damn it)

Link to comment

Ah, bureaucracy.

Well, it may get overlooked amid the hundreds of emails to look at after they return from the holidays.

In which case you might just call if you haven't heard in a few days.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

TA

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
2 hours ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

I wrote to ask for advice on how I should come out to the many levels of departments and management.  If there were protocols and official procedures since I.do not work for the hospitals I work at.  Etc.

Good for you Shawna for taking the next step.  It had to be done eventually I’m assuming so why not now?  I’m sure everything will go well for you...just don’t worry about it cause at this point there’s not much you can do to speed things up.

 

Best of luck to you on this,

Susan R?

 

Link to comment

Most employers in the US aren't allowed to discriminate against any demographic, including gender. Most universities and health care institutions (which based on your post I'm assuming is one of the fields you are in) are usually accepting and inclusive. I'm sure you're job is secure. I just hope your immediate department is a safe environment to be out to. 

 

Good for you hun! ?

 

~Toni

Link to comment
  • Admin

I agree with the others, SL; I don't think you have anything to worry about.  But just the same, it takes courage to do what you just did, and I admire and respect you for that.  Best of luck!

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
10 hours ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

Well I did and did not.  I wrote to the University HR department  as I am an employee.  However I am an employee to. Partnership program in which I work as a contract technician so it gets confusing on what how or who I need to inform. I wrote to ask for advice on how I should come out to the many levels of departments and management.  If there were protocols and official procedures since I.do not work for the hospitals I work at.  Etc.
In essence I did come out as my opening sentence was very direct.  
“I need advice on how to come out as MtF transgender to my upper management.”

I was nervous about that and a tad apprehensive to hit send.  It ended up being a short email but said and asked a lot.  
So I worked up my courage and sent it. 
I get a Very fast reply. 
Closed until Jan 2.  Lol

(damn it)

 

Well, on the plus side, you're ex-military. You're familiar with "Hurry up and wait."

 

January 2nd will be here before you know it.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

I do not worried about losing my job.  With all the classes and appointments during my in processing I had to attend dealing with tolerance and LBGT when I started working for the University, I feel my job is very safe.  I almost wish they would do something illegal to fire me as I could sue to crap out of them.  LOL

Seriously though I am more worried about what the "low down and under the table" things that could happen.  I feel confident no one will openly say Boo but I am unsure who feels personally  negatively about trans folks, and I am certainly hoping not someone directly above my that can negatively effect things for me. Like getting crappy jobs, just missing promotions, etc.  Who knows what else.  Though on the other hand, I would be the only openly trans person to work "there" and it does "look good" for them to  show support and tolerance towards "my kind".  

My day to day job I work by all alone and have my own office.  I have no one I work directly with that could cause me stress or issues.  I have two offices really, one in each hospital and work closely with the directors of material management and their maintenance department techs but not "for" any of them.  I am my own boss as far as what I need to do and when it gets done.  As a matter of fact I have not seen my supervisor since last July.  LOL

All in all it is a very low stress place for someone who is coming out.  I do feel lucky and blessed about that.  If I encounter anyone that is negative then so be it.  I can assume I will eventually.  I with deal with it.

 

Link to comment

Just a further update on this.  I received an email reply from my HR department and the gentleman was extremely nice and reassuring.  He asked if we could speak on the phone since my email had million questions.  LOL   It was a nice long chat and he put all my fears to rest and suggested many things I had not considered.  He kept telling me "when you are ready".  He must of said this a hundred times but it did make me feel good he was looking out for me.

He reassured me of all the University policies and regulations as well as the contracts we have with outside hospitals having to adhere to our policies too.  He offered to play intermediate for me if I was just to scared to move forward with my upper management if need be but I feel informing them via letter is still my best options.  However I asked him if he would read it first to make sure I am saying or providing the right information with concerns to being professional.  He also suggested we give them resources in the letter if they have questions as they may not have experience with a transgender colleague.  

So now I need to write another letter and email my HR friend.  

I feel like I made a mile move towards my transition just with this phone call.

As many must know, telling your employer is a major step and quite scary.

So now two wins for me in 2020!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I'm self-employed, so while my boss can be kind of a bitch, she was OK with the big reveal.

 

Fantastic response from uni-HR though, you couldn't have asked for a better response. Now you've got an ally and a road map as to how to come out to everyone else.

 

Congratulations!

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
57 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

I'm self-employed, so while my boss can be kind of a bitch, she was OK with the big reveal.

I simply love you to death.  LMAO.

You make me giggle every day I swear.  Thank you so much for being you!!!!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

You'd probably find me annoying if you had to deal with me 24/7. It's a little like living with Daffy Duck.

 

As a total aside, I was talking about you with my wife and mentioned your situation. She just rolled her eyes and said, "Well, that's HER (your wife's) loss."

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

That’s great Shawna! I’m still waiting to tell my employer until later in the year! I hope it goes even slightly as well as yours!

Link to comment

??Congratulations!! that was actually inspiring, knowing certain places will open their arms to you has to be the best feeling ever!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 128 Guests (See full list)

    • Abigail Genevieve
    • DawnD
    • Cortomaltese
    • Avra
    • Ivy
    • Ashley0616
    • MaeBe
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      769.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,058
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Aleksandria
    Newest Member
    Aleksandria
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Conner_Sent_By_Cyberlife
      Conner_Sent_By_Cyberlife
      (22 years old)
    2. CtN1p
      CtN1p
    3. heyim_finn
      heyim_finn
      (21 years old)
    4. Jayn
      Jayn
    5. joni_girl_1988
      joni_girl_1988
      (51 years old)
  • Posts

    • MaeBe
      No luck there, really. She's getting a signing bonus plus a little extra that I don't think would cover much in the way of the move, but it is something!   Oh my! I am glad to hear you're not passing anymore blood. I hope they figure it out soon! How distressing!   @April Marie @KymmieL @Mirrabooka @Willow @Justine76, thank you for the kind words and thoughts! We told our best friends last night. There were many tears. Now it's all about the work: selling the house (my wife's friend's son said he may want to buy it direct!), a job (a former employee of mine wants to bring me over to his company--and they're based outside of Tacoma!), and moving (just started going through what we don't want bring and donating things). So things have kicked off.   I'm not so sure of the job, it would be good to work with my former employee (he's great) but I fear the culture may not be super welcoming to someone like me--and the guy doesn't know I'm trans in any way. But I'll give it a shot as my authentic self and see what happens!
    • Ashley0616
      @LadypcnjI'm sorry. I know the feeling my mom thinks I'm going through a phase too although I didn't come out till April 17, 2023, so it was later in life. I was in denial majority of my life. I would love to hear more about this if you are comfortable sharing more of it. 
    • Ashley0616
      I love fashion. I have over 100 dresses and 74 pairs of shoes. My walk-in closet is full of other clothes as well. I'm getting more shorts soon. SHEIN is awesome for quality and price. Just when you get a leather coat from them it's just the shell not the liner. Most of my shoes are from Torrid because I wear size 13 women's. 
    • Ashley0616
      My VPN is Surf Shark. It has been good to me so far. 
    • Ashley0616
      Unfortunately Oklahoma is about as bad as Texas but definitely not as bad as Florida. Especially as a minor! 
    • Ashley0616
      I'm sorry @Ladypcnj I can only sympathize with you on that. Therapist on the other hand is crazy. I have had 16 in 10 years. It sucks having to have to go over things. I will say though after 6 therapists I didn't have to explain my history they simply read the history. 
    • Ashley0616
      I followed you and will give you my advice when I can. It has happened to me a lot too. If you want to you can always message me and I'll get back to you ASAP. I understand your concerns. 
    • April Marie
      Oh, my gosh! I would definitely be looking for a new primary care physician!!
    • Davie
      Sara Tavares died on 19 November 2023 in Lisbon, at age 45.
    • Ivy
      I don't use it.   One of my daughters gave me a little to experiment with, but I haven't.  My youngest tried to put some on me once, but I din't like it.  The light was pretty bad admittedly. My ex didn't use it, and my daughters didn't use it much either when they were still at home.  (If so it was very subtle) And I don't often notice it on women my age (mid 70's)   I shave every day.  But my beard is not heavy, and essentially grey, so it's not real noticeable unless you get close with good light.  I was starting to look into electrolysis, but the pandemic hit, and I just kinda dropped it.   Sometimes I do wonder about it though.
    • Justine76
      It's something I'm just learning but I find I actually enjoy the 'craft' of it in addition to how it makes me look. Even after a fresh shave, I have a mild 5'clock shadow. For me, the primary use of makeup is to get rid of that. I'll start with the orange concealer over facial hair areas and a bit under my eyes. Liquid foundation over that and light concealer used judiciously over that (still dialing that part in). Then just a tad of powder to bring color back in certain places. There are a number of Youtube tutorials on that layering process.    I'll also pencil in my eyebrows a bit since they're blonde and otherwise not very visible. Sometimes I'll get adventurous and give mascara a try but that's a delicate skill and usually I mess it up. I don't particularly like lipstick, but just ordered a 'lip pencil' to experiment with. Hoping for a more subtle effect. 
    • Vidanjali
    • April Marie
      Sunday is my weekly ablution day - all of the parts that need occasional shaving get their required attention. The weather is rainy and cool today so after the ablutions and shower, I put on blue jeans, a gray t-shirt and a black front-zip hoodie along with gray sneakers.   And, I did put on make-up, not to impress anyone but just to feel as if I'm looking my best....as good as that can be given this woman is now 69 years old. 
    • April Marie
      There are lots of us here willing to offer support, ideas, a shoulder or just a smile. Working with your therapist and finding your true self can be difficult process...but it will also be filled with wonder and joy as you discover that person who's been waiting inside you to be found.   Just know that you are not alone.
    • Mealaini
      Thank you for fixing my country of origin MaryEllen!     :) Mealaini
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...