Buying bras

[Lilly James]

So I have a question regarding bras. Being born male and now wanting to present more female along with top dysphoria I've decided to wear bras. However with this I've discovered two issues. Number 1 - being in the closet to nearly everyone means I'm only going to wear one with a small or next to no cup. This is so I can feel more comfortable in public and at work. What are the best ways to go about getting one and what kinds would you recommend.  

2. I'm really nervous about buying them in public. I feel like people and cashiers will judge me as so far I don't pass at all. I'd like to try online but I live with parents and they are home all the time. If a parcel arrives they always ask what's in it and even if I lie they still want to see it. Sorry for the long post but any help on the subject will be much appreciated.

[Jani]

Lilly you can obviously use an online size scale available for many brands at their website.   This can give you some kind of idea before actually go trying one on.  You will find cup sizes are aggressive at best.  You are tall the strap lengths will be shorter than required IMO.  You can go into a shop and just shop!  Yes there may be those that judge you but so what?  If you buy from a larger vendor there may be the option to have it shipped to a drop box, away from home and the store.  

 

My recommendation, just go with a sports bra.  These slip over your head so no clasps to mess with.  Buy the largest one you think will fit as they will be tight.  

 

Jani

[Lilly James]

Thank you Jani x

I'm aiming to go shopping this week and I definitely intend to pluck up the courage to buy some. Thanks for the sizing tips as well. Sports bras are a good shout.

[Belle]

6 hours ago, Jani said:

If you buy from a larger vendor there may be the option to have it shipped to a drop box, away from home and the store. 

Amazon has drop boxes everywhere (in our city, at least). You can choose to send it to one when you check out.

[Lilly James]

1 hour ago, Belle said:

Amazon has drop boxes everywhere (in our city, at least). You can choose to send it to one when you check out.

Didn't think of that actually. Thank you xx

[DeeDee]

Lilly most of the supermarkets also do click and collect so you can order online and simply turn up for your shopping. If you use something like George it comes in it's own package so there is no embarrassment when collecting the parcel (though it was in my male name because it asked for ID that I never had to show) - I I literally did this last week  

[ShawnaLeigh]

If you figure out your shipping issues may I suggest the AhhBra Cutie Racerback style.  It is similar to a sports bra but way more comfortable.  It has no cup size as it is stretchy and the racer back style keeps the straps from falling off a more male shoulder profile.  Plus the back looks like the top of a tank top style undershirt.  I am a size 40 band and I take a large size bra in this.  

[Willow]

If you have started growing breasts and want to support them, you can make a private appointment with a bra fitter.  They are discrete and have lots of small cup sizes for mastectomy patients.  They are also small shops not big stores.

 

Willow

[Lilly James]

Thank you all for your suggestions. I honestly might do click and collect as it seems the safest option for me currently. 

[Lilly James]

5 hours ago, DeeDee said:

Lilly most of the supermarkets also do click and collect so you can order online and simply turn up for your shopping. If you use something like George it comes in it's own package so there is no embarrassment when collecting the parcel (though it was in my male name because it asked for ID that I never had to show) - I I literally did this last week  

Definitely going to try this!!

[Lilly James]

5 hours ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

If you figure out your shipping issues may I suggest the AhhBra Cutie Racerback style.  It is similar to a sports bra but way more comfortable.  It has no cup size as it is stretchy and the racer back style keeps the straps from falling off a more male shoulder profile.  Plus the back looks like the top of a tank top style undershirt.  I am a size 40 band and I take a large size bra in this.  

Good shout. Definitely going to check out the AahhBra.

[Lilly James]

2 hours ago, Willow said:

If you have started growing breasts and want to support them, you can make a private appointment with a bra fitter.  They are discrete and have lots of small cup sizes for mastectomy patients.  They are also small shops not big stores.

 

Willow

No breasts yet unfortunately. I'm so new to this so I'm not on any hormones 

[lauraincolumbia]

HI Lilly,

Another suggestion is Her Room or Bare Necessities.   They have a ton of styles and sizes.   When you watch for sales the prices are really good.

You can have them ship via UPS, then use UPS My Choice to choose a shipping location.  Picking up in a UPS Store is a convenient option.

https://www.barenecessities.com

https://www.herroom.com

 

[Lilly James]

20 hours ago, lauraincolumbia said:

HI Lilly,

Another suggestion is Her Room or Bare Necessities.   They have a ton of styles and sizes.   When you watch for sales the prices are really good.

You can have them ship via UPS, then use UPS My Choice to choose a shipping location.  Picking up in a UPS Store is a convenient option.

https://www.barenecessities.com

https://www.herroom.com

 

Thank you xx

I'll check them out

[Moira Arista]

Nylon Sports or comfort bras for me.

[StephieGurl]

On 1/6/2020 at 2:22 PM, Lilly James said:

So I have a question regarding bras. Being born male and now wanting to present more female along with top dysphoria I've decided to wear bras. However with this I've discovered two issues. Number 1 - being in the closet to nearly everyone means I'm only going to wear one with a small or next to no cup. This is so I can feel more comfortable in public and at work. What are the best ways to go about getting one and what kinds would you recommend.  

2. I'm really nervous about buying them in public. I feel like people and cashiers will judge me as so far I don't pass at all. I'd like to try online but I live with parents and they are home all the time. If a parcel arrives they always ask what's in it and even if I lie they still want to see it. Sorry for the long post but any help on the subject will be much appreciated.

Amazon hun, if you have prime most our free returns. I started with sports bras myself. Got so shoulder strings next as my best were growing. Wearing the straps gave me more freedom on the tops I could wear. Well, now today an probably for the last two months I don't wear a bra. I am a large A-cup, It just looks more natural then the padded bras I has been wearing. No bra burning yet (lol)

[Rhonda234]

On 1/6/2020 at 5:30 PM, Jani said:

Lilly you can obviously use an online size scale available for many brands at their website.   This can give you some kind of idea before actually go trying one on.  You will find cup sizes are aggressive at best.  You are tall the strap lengths will be shorter than required IMO.  You can go into a shop and just shop!  Yes there may be those that judge you but so what?  If you buy from a larger vendor there may be the option to have it shipped to a drop box, away from home and the store.  

 

My recommendation, just go with a sports bra.  These slip over your head so no clasps to mess with.  Buy the largest one you think will fit as they will be tight.  

 

Jani

Yes sports bras are the way to I have great success with zip front ones also like the camis with the under shelf bra I am a 38B  I get most of mine thur Amazon and they drop hubs around most places  I shop for clothes in the store as well always looking for those sale and clearnce items 

Have a wonderful day