Mom does not approve

[TrIIIy]

I came out to my mom about 5 years ago, and from the get go she was appalled. She said that she would never stop loving me, but she did not approve of my being transgender. I realized then that my actual transition would be an uphill battle, especially since I live with her.

 

This past week I was finally approved to start testosterone. I was SO excited! I called the pharmacy and found out that it was covered by my insurance - even better! But when I told my mother, she immediately fell into a depression/suppressed rage. She has been snapping at me about every little thing that I do and sleeping a lot.

 

In short, I feel like a have come out to her a second time because of her reaction. It’s a major downer to my happiness of starting T. I don’t want her to be sad or angry at me, and I know that I’m not doing anything wrong, but it hurts to know that after all this time she is still so disapproving of my transition.

 

Just needed to vent. Thanks for reading.

 

-Trey

[Jackie C.]

I'm sorry to hear that your mother doesn't approve. Of course it's not really up to her, but support from family is nice. It's not really fair that she's choosing to ... defecate (take THAT filter) ... all over what should be a happy experience for you. While I don't know the situation besides what you've told us here, it sounds like she's being a brat.

You're in good company, my egg-donor chose to be a brat too. I got over it. So will you.

 

She'll come around, or she won't. If she doesn't, you might need to find yourself another place to stay. Living in that kind of situation does you no favors and will start to affect your mental health. It's unfortunate, but some people, even family members, will chose to be awful over trying to understand us.

 

Hopefully, your mother will chose to pull her head out of her ... aft-vent ... and get to know her son sooner rather than later. In the meantime, we're always here to listen.

 

Hugs!

[ShawnaLeigh]

The only person I’ve come out to so far to have a negative reaction was my mother.  I basically killed her first born son.  
Everyone else has been positive and supportive.  
of all of them you would think a mother would support her child threw anything.  
nope.  
I'm sorry about and for you situation.  

[Jani]

@TrIIIy As to your mother not approving you being transgender, I'm sure you weren't looking for approval.  I would suggest that you say you're making changes that will make you happy; in order to live as you feel.  As to not being happy, STOP.  This is her thing to deal with.  You have every reason to be happy about starting T.  Its a big deal and will certainly make you more confident and assure of yourself.  Enjoy it and don't let anyone take the joy away from you. 

 

Jani

[Belle]

Congratulations on starting the T ?!! I don't know about you, but for me it's been extremely difficult to understand and to accept, and I'm the one going through it. I have no illusions that it's easier for those in my life.

 

The irony of a mother rejecting us is that most likely it's the mother's hormone fluctuations during pregnancy that causes the lifetime of incongruence.

 

Belle ❤️

 

[TrIIIy]

Thanks, everyone.

 

I would move out in a heartbeat if I could, but I am disabled and therefor unable to live on my own for now.

 

My mom always makes the excuse, “That’s just how I was raised.” Well, she raised me that way too, but I didn’t let it keep me from breaking the mold.

 

Hopefully she will be okay after a while. She claims that she can’t “watch it happen,” referring to my transition.

 

We will see.

[Jackie C.]

It's up to the later generations to fix the mistakes of the first. "It's just a tradition," is a terrible excuse for being awful to someone. That's kind of what your mother is doing here. She needs to break the cycle. Of course, if she won't you will, so one way or another, the world gets to be a little bit brighter.

 

I hope she comes around for your sake. Really, that's no way to live.

 

Hugs!