Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

I’m in a predicament


Bruh moment

Recommended Posts

So I came out as trans (ftm) a fat while ago in high school and now i’m in my freshman year of college. I’m taking 18 credits a semester, have a part time job at starbucks, and unfortunately, still living with my parents that think I can deal with being trans in other ways, not transitioning. If I take any medical steps whatsoever I will most likely be kicked out. Now here is the billion dollar question: how do I get the -expletive- out of here and still continue to be a productive member of society? How do I move out while only working three days a week, how do I transition when i’m surrounded by the catholic body police? (bars) please help

 

ps: I live in NY, not too far from the city. Good resources, bad mobility.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Unfortunately, you're going to need your parent's financial support until you finish college and find a job with decent stability that will accept your transition. On the plus side, New York is pretty good about the second one. The reality in the US is that you need medical insurance and that transitioning is expensive.

 

If you absolutely need to start transitioning now, you need to reduce your personal expenses. That probably means a room mate situation. You need to increase your income, so that part time job needs to be at least a full time job. You'll need the insurance. College will have to go part time with whatever money is left over.

 

So basically your choices are stay the course and start transitioning after college or makes some serious life changes that will let you transition now, but push everything else back until you can afford to finish school. In the meantime, there are some grants you can apply for to help people who couldn't otherwise afford it transition. I'd look into those as well.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Unfortunately, you're going to need your parent's financial support until you finish college and find a job with decent stability that will accept your transition. On the plus side, New York is pretty good about the second one. The reality in the US is that you need medical insurance and that transitioning is expensive.

 

If you absolutely need to start transitioning now, you need to reduce your personal expenses. That probably means a room mate situation. You need to increase your income, so that part time job needs to be at least a full time job. You'll need the insurance. College will have to go part time with whatever money is left over.

 

So basically your choices are stay the course and start transitioning after college or makes some serious life changes that will let you transition now, but push everything else back until you can afford to finish school. In the meantime, there are some grants you can apply for to help people who couldn't otherwise afford it transition. I'd look into those as well.

 

Hugs!

What she said.  Jackie is so wise.  

Link to comment

Hey Bruh. I grow up in Queens so not sure what you mean about not being mobile .NYT is not great but it will get you where you want to go. First. Apply for students Grants. There's soon great ones for Transgender student, not sure were you live but if you can feed another friend or like mind student see if you secure a room or roommates. The Bronx is still affordable and some parts of Washington Heights but they can a bit dicey. and lastly, grown up in catholic fam inside a traditional catholic hood I get where your coming from. I never came out or even hint it. I would of be beating be either the mob( Irish, Italian and Columbian) or put my fam in danger( esp with Latin community). So I get it. I move away and for awhile that made it worse with catholic guilt, But it was the only thing I could do to keep my fam safe and me sane. So find groups LGTB center in Village is amazing place to start. Meet ups  and things that will give you moral support and a chance at sanity. LBTG and depending on yr school also offer great opportunities. Be Proud, BE SAFE and Kick Ass 

Link to comment

Hello and welcome to the forum! It's a great resource full of friendly people. Glad you are here with us ?

 

I also work at Starbucks. I live in MN though. It's a great place to work with great benefits. But the wages aren't really livable, ya know... I'm living paycheck to paycheck. I live in a sober house. The rent is about as much as a cheap apartment here. But the deposit was only a couple hundred. Bc I live paycheck to paycheck, I can't seem to get over that deposit hurdle and get my own place. Like others have said, save up, take more hours and maybe look for a roommate. Good luck! 

 

~Toni

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   9 Members, 0 Anonymous, 83 Guests (See full list)

    • Mirrabooka
    • Ashley0616
    • Maddee
    • KathyLauren
    • KatieSC
    • Karen Carey
    • Mars Hiroshi
    • MaybeRob
    • AllieJ
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.8k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,038
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Justine76
    Newest Member
    Justine76
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. April Marie
      April Marie
    2. daniela...
      daniela...
      (59 years old)
    3. Emily May
      Emily May
    4. Felixr
      Felixr
      (20 years old)
    5. Leann
      Leann
      (56 years old)
  • Posts

    • Mirrabooka
      @April MarieI just noticed that it's your birthday today! Happy Birthday to you!!!!!! 🥳🎂🎁🎉❤️
    • Mirrabooka
      Morning y'all, fingers crossed for everyone who has stuff going on.   Welcome back to reality @April Marie, enjoy your improving weather!   Why is it that we humans always take too long to acclimatize to the changing seasons, especially when it gets colder like it is here? Maybe I'm just getting soft in my old age, lol.    
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Speculation , worst or best case, neither.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      @RiyaHello and welcome. I also live in Ohio and it is a challenge but I applaud you for knowing pretty early on and becoming who you really are. Congratulations!
    • Heather Shay
      Do you feel safe in the country you now live in?
    • Heather Shay
      Oooooooooooooooops, I forgot yesterday.   I was thinking of a few bands who had a member invited who said no and went right into obscurity or left before the band got big.   1) Led Zeppelin -  origially wanted Terry Reid to be lead vocalist and he decided the stay solo. 2) Crosby, Stills & Nash - invited John Sebastian to join before Neil Young, Sebastian said no. 3) Signe Anderson quit as lead vocalist with Jefferson Airplane and they replaced her with Grace Slick.    
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone! We're back from a short vacation with friends to the mountains of NC. It was a fun time driving the twisty mountain roads.   Now it's back to reality of cutting grass, washing windows and putting in screens and putting out the porch furniture. Coming home to warmer weather than when we left is glorious.   Happy Anniversary @Willow!    I hope your family is feeling better @KymmieL - my wife and I shared a stomach virus several weeks ago that was horrid.   Hang in there @Birdie, it will all work out!!   Have a wonderful day, everyone!
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I think many Christians end up with a false dichotomy.  If we didn't choose to be how we are, then something in our environment did it. Is going along with it a sin?  Maybe.  But if so, its one of those times where we mess something up no matter what we do.  Part of the imperfect nature of this fallen world is that there are times where we'll sin no matter what we do.  In a no-win scenario like that, we do the wisest thing possible with our free will. 
    • EasyE
      This is the crux of my anguish these many, many months (years!) and where I go back-and-forth with my own journey ... I was born a biological male. No denying that in my case. But I have a lot of internal feminine leanings and external ones, too. I prefer to wear women's clothes 100 percent of the time (if I could). I wish I had the female plumbing. I long for that badly sometimes. I don't know why or where that came from but no denying that either. I have started HRT because I like the idea of having a more feminine physical body and some of the "perks" that go with that. I just asked my doc to up my dose to the next level today!   So the big question I ask myself is: am I knowingly disobeying God, who likes order and made humans male and female, by taking these steps? This is my wife's take on things. "You are sinning. You know God made you a male biologically. Yet you are willfully pursuing transition to being something God didn't intend you to be regardless of what you feel inside, what your preferences are, etc."  I keep trying to tell her it's much more complex than that but sometimes I don't even know what I think...   This ties up in knots and makes me angry and makes me feel stuck!!! I don't want to disobey my Creator and Savior and yet I have this strong, strong leaning toward the feminine in many ways (that keeps getting stronger and refuses to go away no matter how much I have tried to stuff it away!!) ... It feels like misery no matter which path I take - if I "give in" to the feminine, which I have been doing a lot the past 12 months or so, am I endangering my soul? Am I creating scandal? Yet the thought of putting the feminine aside feels, at times, like death too (or is it just me being self-centered and unwilling to bend the knee to my Creator who would ask me to give this up as a testament to my love for him...   I don't know. I don't know. I don't know!! But sometimes I really really F***ing hate this quandary... 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      We use a ton of Harbor Freight stuff here.  They have pretty good warranty, too, I guess.  GF beats all heck out of sockets and things, and if she takes them back they get replaced for free.  Harbor Freight was junk 20 years ago, but its really good now.  Craftsman used to be good 20 years ago, but now its junk (but they still want to charge made-in-the-usa prices).  Dewalt is now Chinese also, when it used to be made in Germany.  Older Dewalt tools are good, but GF got a really bad hand injury a few years ago from a Chinese Dewalt drill bit that shattered.  Some of the name brands just aren't what they used to be. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...