was it your choice?

[BEAN_CHILD]

i was crying about how stressed out i would be if everybody hated me because i was transgender

then my mom said i shouldnt complain since it was my choice to be trans

then i thought "can i just magically make all my feelings and dysphoria go away?"

i wish i could be normal but whenever anyone addreses me as female i feel like im getting stabbed

[VickySGV]

Not to be vulgar, but SHE was the one who made the choice to have the sex with your father that lead to you being born, (at least I hope it was her choice).  That choice is the real one governing you life and she needs to learn that.  I just read a new (to me ) book on the subject entitled Where's My Book by Linda Gromko M.D. which is for Trans Kids and their parents, and sets the record right.  Don't quote my first sentence to her, but if it gives you a little release of your anger, that is what I did it for.  There are other good books that are written for parents, and there is also PFLAG which is an organization that can help teach her how to care for you. 

[MetaLicious]

4 hours ago, BEAN_CHILD said:

...i shouldnt complain since it was my choice to be trans...

This... this crap here just ticks me off to no end.  Look at the gender hierarchy, and it goes from Man to Woman, then there's a huge gap, and after that you find trans.  Seriously, we're at the lowest end of the flipping hierarchy, yet we choose to be this way? NO! NO!  Nobody chooses to be a potential target of hatred and bigotry.  Being trans is no more a choice than one's race, one's (dis)ability, or one's wealth (or lack thereof).

 

We ar born trans, and stuck being trans. The only choice is whether we bury it deep inside ourselves (usually to the detriment of our mental health) or pursue living an authentic life, being our real selves, despite the fact that society wants to label us in a negative fashion.  I am trans.  I'm not proud of it, but I'll be <@%^> if I'm going to be ashamed of it!  It's just a fact of my life, and I decided I'd rather risk hatred and bigotry, risk being killed for who I am, than to deny myself and be the one doing my own killing.

4 hours ago, BEAN_CHILD said:

..."can i just magically make all my feelings and dysphoria go away?"...

I know, right?  When I hit my crisis point a few months ago, I tried real hard to find a way to put the genie back in the bottle.  I scoured the internet, but all the advice was the same - don't pretend you're not who you are - it will only eat you up inside.  I managed to live with the genie corked up only through liberal drug use, and it was eating me up.  The dysphoria hadn't gone away, I was just numbing myself to the pain, but what I was using to dull the pain was just as bad.  I knew I had to become myself even before I "decided" to.  I had no choice, because I was committing a slow form of suicide by simply giving up on truly living.  Now, I'm living with dysphoria, and it's in my face all the time because I've gone clean, but the real difference is that I'm living despite my dysphoria instead of dying while igmoring it.

4 hours ago, BEAN_CHILD said:

...i wish i could be normal but whenever anyone addreses me as female i feel like im getting stabbed

I hear you.  Swap the gender of the pronouns, and that's me.  Someone called me "sir" the other day, and I told my son,"I've never liked being called 'sir'."  A moment of reflection, and it hit me - I have never liked being called "sir."  Even when my dysphoria was buried deep, some forms of address just made me recoil, like I knew without conscious acknowledgement that these titles were not for me.

 

As for being normal, give that up.  "Normal" is one of those platonic ideals that don't actually exist in the real world.  You do you, and that will be normal enough!

 

Peace, love and happiness!

[Sarahnr1]

9 hours ago, BEAN_CHILD said:

i was crying about how stressed out i would be if everybody hated me because i was transgender

then my mom said i shouldnt complain since it was my choice to be trans

then i thought "can i just magically make all my feelings and dysphoria go away?"

i wish i could be normal but whenever anyone addreses me as female i feel like im getting stabbed

 

Thats  just plain BS  (pardon my language  )   

 

NOONE  chooses  to be born in the wrong body its something we are BORN with . Whether we like it or not  

 

Transsexuellity have been around since humans first came to this earth and  its nothing  new  (it even exist in the animal world )  

 

Just try to accept  the reel you  and dont try or bother to be " normal " we arent simple as that.  I have never   been " normal"  or " fitted  in  " anywhere  since i was  born    

 

But thats  not meaning were  less worth the same respect  as  everyone else   

 

 

[michelle_kitten]

One thing you can count on is not "everyone" is going to hate you.  Some people are going to hate you, but some people are going to hate you anyway.  That's just life.  You can't make everyone like you.  The good news is most people just don't care, and some people will just like you for you.  People are all over the map when it comes to perspectives and opinions, and what they understand and what they don't.  Some people are just not going to understand, either because they can't or because they won't.  Other people are going to totally get you and you will have friends.  As people get older they get distracted with their own problems and with the repetition of their jobs, and with all sorts of other things and they care less and less about if a person is trans or not.  The people who dislike you for being trans is going to be a small minority and a shrinking minority over time.

 

It seems the 'choice' you are making is whether to attempt to suppress your dysphoria and live a lie, or be honest and do what you need to do to easy that discomfort and live honestly.