Shoulder dysphoria and stuff

[needccpls]

so I was curious and asked a friend to take a pic of my shoulders from the back while I was doing some dishes and honestly they look -censored- huge to me and it's getting under my skin. It's been 2+ years, is there anything I can do with them other than try and hide them or am I stuck? Or am I massively overthinking this?

 

 

 

I might as well post my face here too since that gets on my nerves too. It's not like horrifying dysphoria that i can't function but I do feel self conscious about it.

[Jackie C.]

A trick a friend taught me: Colors. Darker tops and lighter bottoms help de-emphasize your shoulders and make your hips look bigger. I think I look pretty good in a tank too, but it's too cold right now to wear them outside the gym. 

 

Sometimes cis women get bigger shoulders than they'd like too. Your only real option is to learn to dress to make them look smaller. Totally something you can do. 

 

Hugs!

[needccpls]

Are they like, really big or am i just seeing things though (i don't mind if you say yes)

 

Also i forgot to mention that right before transition, I worked a fairly labor intensive job (a good amount of lifting and stuff along those lines fairly regularly) so I wonder if that plays a role? Mostly because I kind of heard "HRT would melt my muscles away"

[Jackie C.]

Nah, they're a little broad, but we all deal with that to some extent. Stupid first puberty. 

 

Hugs!

[ShawnaLeigh]

Oh hon you are not that bad at all.  I must say you face looks very feminine too.

I have the shoulders of a short hockey player my wife says and although I have lost well over a 100 lbs I still have wide sloping shoulders.  Like Jackie said it was our original puberty and genetics that gave us these beauties.  

Yes labor intensive work can build muscle and I am not for sure but HRT does not melt anything away but your testicles and even then not completely.  

You can loss some muscle to muscle atrophy by high cardio and zero strength training with an unhealth restrictive diet but its not recommended and I hear it takes a while.  However you still are left with what skeleton/frame you have and can not change at all.

 

Its like us girls with extremely narrow hips, no waist curve and forget about a nice butt.  Yea it should grow in someday as fat distribution changes from male to female patterns but that seems 1000 years from now.

We as trans women just have to go with the template we have and do the best we can to make it into the women we desire or at least to get close.  Sometimes that's adding pads or breast forms and the like and sometimes its just choosing the right colors to disguise it all.

 

 

[needccpls]

The weird thing is that I'm not sure what my frame is. I supposedly have a small frame compared to *cis women* based on my wrists...

 

https://medlineplus.gov/ency/imagepages/17182.htm

 

I got around 6. So I don't get it.

[Belle]

Your shoulders are a little broader than the average woman but your face is extremely feminine. I would assume you were cis from the front regardless of your shoulders.

 

Belle ❤

[ShawnaLeigh]

4 hours ago, needccpls said:

The weird thing is that I'm not sure what my frame is. I supposedly have a small frame compared to *cis women* based on my wrists...

 

https://medlineplus.gov/ency/imagepages/17182.htm

 

I got around 6. So I don't get it.

Although a fun little guide you can not put a lot of faith in a quick chart or guide like this.  These are based on statistics of hindered of “standard” people’s measurements to get an average.  Then they group them into ranges.  
I too am at a 6  asked on their chart but I’m here to tell you I’m short stocky in build and beefy in the shoulders and upper back and a waist that small.  Small feet for a guy but big for a women. 
No where is that considered a standard sized either!   Lol

meh.  Who cares.  I’m pretty when I try to be and that enough for me.  

[Kyler R.]

I just wanted to jump in here and say I was assigned female at birth, but I have large wide shoulders. I have a weird body in general and clothes don't always fit right(especially women's). Large shoulders run in my family, so my aunt and mom (cis women) have shoulders that look big. All bodies are different and can be weird. 

 

By the way you definitely look like a woman (I would have thought you were cis if I saw you on the street), and I've seen cis women with shoulders that looked like that (particularly the athletic ones). 

[needccpls]

lol I guess, and it's weird because it really is just me that says this. I guess because I really want to specifically be like a super femme dainty girl even if it's not realistic. I see some 5'4 110 pound waif with an hourglass figure and I get jealous because yeah i know bodies are different, but I want something like that.

 

Any, how to say, before and after for dealing with shoulders via clothes? Just want to get an idea of what's possible. I do go for stuff like A-Line skirts and the dark top/light bottom thing, but it never seems to be enough. Like a picture where the shoulders look broad, then another where they dont.