Libido

[Chloé Rei]

Did HRT kill your libido? The first week on estradiol and I had a strong libido. After the first week it dropped to zero. This won't cause me to stop my therapy. I want a libido, but I want to be who I really am more than anything. Now please excuse me as I go cry in a corner.

[VickySGV]

MtF libido CHANGES with HRT, and can go up and down over time.  You will find more of your body sensitive to erotic touch in very pleasant ways, but it will not be what you experienced as a young adult male.  Enjoy the adventure of finding what your body on E is going to do.  You sound like yours is moving a little on the fast side, so I would check with your Endocrinologist or Primary Care doctors to eliminate the possibility of other causes.  General stress which we are going through now is an enemy of libido as well.

[KathyLauren]

Due to my wife's and my ages, we haven't gotten frisky in a long time.  So my libido has been on the decline for a long time, long before I started HRT.  Taking care of things on my own was too dysphoric with my original equipment, so I didn't.  And what little libido might have been left was switched off by HRT.

 

I do have some interest in exploring my new hardware, and look forward to taking it out for a test-drive once everything has healed up.

[DeeDee]

This is genuinely something I would welcome, my libido is like an annoying neighbour from down the street who keeps interrupting me when I'm trying to mind my own business! ?

[Jackie C.]

2 hours ago, Chloé Rei said:

Did HRT kill your libido? The first week on estradiol and I had a strong libido. After the first week it dropped to zero. This won't cause me to stop my therapy. I want a libido, but I want to be who I really am more than anything. Now please excuse me as I go cry in a corner.

 

Nope. I was actually -excited- as heck yesterday. Which is a pity because there's still police tape all over the place down there.

 

@VickySGV is right though, your libido changes with HRT to something approximating a female sex drive. I'm not constantly wanting attention. Once or twice a week is plenty. Waking things up is also a bit different. Everything isn't on a hair-trigger anymore. It's like coaxing a match into a roaring fire with light touches, caresses and... well, you know. The other big difference is that I've lost the ability to fire one off just whenever to relieve stress. Now I need to be fully in the moment or I won't be able to climax. Well worth the effort though.

 

Your libido will bounce around a little in the early stages, but it should level out as your body gets used to the new hormone mix. Remember that it can take up to two months for your hormones to level out and your endo will probably need to adjust your dose once or twice. If your libido doesn't come back, that's something you absolutely should mention to your endo the next time you see them. They'll probably adjust your mixture to something more to your liking.

 

Hugs!

[Susan R]

3 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

@VickySGV is right though, your libido changes with HRT to something approximating a female sex drive. I'm not constantly wanting attention. Once or twice a week is plenty. Waking things up is also a bit different. Everything isn't on a hair-trigger anymore. It's like coaxing a match into a roaring fire with light touches, caresses and... well, you know. The other big difference is that I've lost the ability to fire one off just whenever to relieve stress. Now I need to be fully in the moment or I won't be able to climax. Well worth the effort though.

This is exactly what I am experiencing pre-op. It’s likely going to change somewhat again after my equipment is rearranged. I’m looking forward to it!

 

Susan R?

[ShawnaLeigh]

Yea I’m a low on the male scale as far as libido goes but feel so much better over all. My last T check had me around 3 on the scale so it’s pretty dang low.    I’m not in a relationship where libido is needed and quite frankly I do not miss it lately.  Yes I look forward to what the others girls mentioned but I agree you definitely have a different perspective on it now.  

[VickySGV]

2 hours ago, Susan R said:

It’s likely going to change somewhat again after my equipment is rearranged.

 

I was 11 months post-op when my fires became easily lit, don't give up if it does not happen early on.

 

[Susan R]

42 minutes ago, VickySGV said:

 

I was 11 months post-op when my fires became easily lit, don't give up if it does not happen early on.

 

Good to know...did you have full depth or zero depth?  If you don’t want to answer here, I understand. Just thought others may be helped knowing which type of surgery required this length of time to experience (near?) full restoration of libido.

[Susan R]

1 hour ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

Yea I’m a low on the male scale as far as libido goes but feel so much better over all. My last T check had me around 3 on the scale so it’s pretty dang low.

My internal medicine doctor (who prescribes my HRT meds) said she wants my T levels above 15ng/dL in order to help libido to do its thing and also to reduce the my chance of osteoporosis. I’ve been maintaining T levels at 17-25ng/dL on my current regimen and it seems ok but it still takes forever as Jackie mentioned earlier to get where I need to go.  Obviously, each doctor will have slightly different advice, so take this information with a grain of salt.

 

Susan R?

[VickySGV]

2 hours ago, Susan R said:

did you have full depth or zero depth?

 

Full depth. 

[ShawnaLeigh]

2 hours ago, Susan R said:

My internal medicine doctor (who prescribes my HRT meds) said she wants my T levels above 15ng/dL in order to help libido to do its thing and also to reduce the my chance of osteoporosis. I’ve been maintaining T levels at 17-25ng/dL on my current regimen and it seems ok but it still takes forever as Jackie mentioned earlier to get where I need to go.  Obviously, each doctor will have slightly different advice, so take this information with a grain of salt.

 

Susan R?

I was hoping after my Orchi that I could stop all T blockers and let thing ride as is.  I would then adjust my E as needed.  But now that's been put on indefinite hold.  Sigh.

I was surprised by the T at 3 ng/dl though I must admit.  I literally can not "get it up" at all and have zero desire to.  Kind of concerns me.

[VickySGV]

1 hour ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

Kind of concerns me.

 

Try under or on your nipples and off to the sides of your thighs with a "toy".  You will not "get it up" but the sensations will be fun.

[KymmieL]

With my hormone blockers going on 4 months. my libido has pretty much dropped to zero. Me and the wife haven't been real intimate in almost 5 years. She tries but nothing comes up. ? 

 

Kymmie

[Lexi C]

DeeDee that was funny.

Chole I have being on blocks for over 16month.  Today I tried to get arouse bye watch porn and its was very painful and nothing happen  I being having off and on wet dreams these last few months but the end results is just water. my T are almost down to zero which I hear is dangerous but I am still waiting on me O-surgery and bottom  hopeful after this Virus is over I will be approve .The blockers will def lower what ever desire you have..I haven't had the desire or need for sex in a long time. I kinda hate that

i

[ToniTone]

Before I started transitioning, arousal was very stressful, painful and often involuntary for me. I would get painfully hard erections, often just spontaneously. In those moments I would... relieve myself just so it would go away. It gave me so much anxiety. 

 

Ever since I've been on feminizing hrt, the stress, discomfort have been relieved and I almost never get spontaneous erections anymore. I can still get turned on when I'm in the mood for it though. And my erections are still full, but slightly softer and not painful. 

 

This has been one of the best side effects for me. I actually kinda enjoy sex now occasionally! I'm willing to bet this is kinda rare though, and caution: results vary from person to person. 

 

I'm pretty sure I don't want full bottom surgery. But I really do want an orchidectomy. Once that's done, my T will be virtually 0. In all likelihood this will diminish my libido some. But I accept and embrace that, I'm enjoying this calm in my life and of my libido. 

 

~Toni

[Maid In Bedlam]

Heres a concept.

 

Your Libido doesn't disappear. It just changes. The male idea of Sexual involvement is Physical. The female idea of sexual involvement is Mental.

 

Remember as I discussed before on another thread. Your brain is rewired as your Hormones build to resemble a more complete female brain. Therefore is it not consistent that your libido will also change? Seeing as it is controlled by your brain.

 

The libido we think is gone has not. It's just evolved and we need time to adjust to this change as its very new to us?

 

Quote

Taking female hormones changes what little male brain you were born with to a female brain.  it means that you will, in fact you will start thinking more like a woman. You will cry at commercials, you will ditch the porn collection you may have had.  Remember those stupid movies your then wife and girlfreind liked to watch endlessly? Pretty woman, Dirty dancing. Etc They will now captivate you. You will carry around tissues and have a stash in every room in the house because you will cry at the drop of a hat.

 

THEY MAKE YOU THINK, FEEL, AND BEHAVE AS A WOMAN!

 

Link to previous discussion which explains the brain diffrences further

[Erikka]

 I have found, 27 months into HRT, that my physical sensation in the genital area with a “toy”is very different and more intense than pre HRT. Unfortunately, I don’t get in the mood to make use of the new found sensations very often. As a male all of my orgasm was in my penis and I thought it was awesome and how could it ever be better...wrong, my orgasms now are much more full body experiences and much more intense. And...it is not gooey and messy afterwards. I love it that nothing comes out. But like I stated before, I have to be in the mood and it takes longer to light the fire. 

[Mx.Drago]

Yup, takes lots of work to get the engine going. It takes on a whole new literal meaning to the words "light the fire". More like your in the woods and it's cold. Sometimes you are rubbing that wood but nothing. Takes effort.

[Erikka]

Amen to that.

[Emily michelle]

I’m a little over a month in. My endocrinologist told me between the finastride the spiro an E that I will not have one after about week 2 I lost my libido which is perfectly fine by me I considered mine overly active before and I hated it because of the dysphoria it caused.

[Susan R]

4 hours ago, Erikka said:

But like I stated before, I have to be in the mood and it takes longer to light the fire. 

One thing my wife and I do together to get us ‘in the mood’ many times is reading to each other romance or erotica novels aloud.  It sounds a little crazy maybe but it really works for us. For me, it’s less about the visual optically and is now more about the stimulated mental imagery post-HRT.

 

Susan R?

[claire1000]

I was fortunate that my current partner is also a transitioned woman who was able to tell me what changes to my libido might happen. When I  started HRT over 3 years ago my male libido had slowed down with age, and maintaining an erection had become difficult so things at the time were frustrating. Within a month or two the urge for sex basically went away which was a relief and within 6 months there were no more male erections which became a relief, But after a year I found that just simply being touched by my partner became a very arousiing experience ,as my skin had softened, and I had muscle turn to fat the joy I received from just being touched led to looking forward to spending time in what would in the past could only be descrrbed as slow foreplay, instead of a quick release a warm feeling of overall happiness or  euphoria had replaced the old quick release.I don't know if this is what cis women experience but I will take and enjoy this any day, I hope this makes sense .

[Mx.Drago]

2 hours ago, Susan R said:

One thing my wife and I do together to get us ‘in the mood’ many times is reading to each other romance or erotica novels aloud.  It sounds a little crazy maybe but it really works for us. For me, it’s less about the visual optically and is now more about the stimulated mental imagery post-HRT.

 

Susan R?

It's not crazy at all. It's been recommended viewing porn has it's benefits, if not effectiveness. 

[Mx.Drago]

37 minutes ago, claire1000 said:

But after a year I found that just simply being touched by my partner became a very arousing experience ,as my skin had softened, and I had muscle turn to fat the joy I received from just being touched led to looking forward to spending time in what would in the past could only be described as slow foreplay, instead of a quick release a warm feeling of overall happiness or euphoria had replaced the old quick release.I don't know if this is what cis women experience but I will take and enjoy this any day, I hope this makes sense .

Touch is very sensitive and it's nice when welcomed with permission. Could go for hours with heavy petting. Cis men seem to round bout only take a few mins then onto something else. Kinda frustrating, but dude be done that's all folks till next time. Meanwhile girl sitting after just starting the engine, being like that's it. But this be my experience on the matter.