How I found Out I Am Transgender

[ThePineapple1]

So, I never really felt like a girl, more like a tomboy from a very young age. I didn't think much into it.

 

A few years ago, I finally found out what transgender means (along with the other terms like non-binary and cisgender). That's when I started to question my gender. One of my good friends has also recently started their transition from female to male so we are helping each other through it. 

I never liked dresses or skirts, which is fine. I wear dark colours all the time and I promised myself that I would never wear make-up. I thought the make-up was because I wanted to stay true to my complexion and identity, little did I know, it was.

 

Last year, I made the decision to cut all of my hair off and get a pixie cut style. Never had I felt more free. I felt like something had been holding me back and I could finally start to walk. I felt like I was in charge of my own life. This year, with the quarantine, I have been able to think so much more about my sexuality and my identity. I went out of my way and watched some videos o transgender people explaining what they went through. Yesterday, I bought my first binder and I was so excited. On my walk though today with my mum (we live in a rural location with lots of fields to walk through), I decided to say how I had been feeling, that I had bought a binder. I didn't want her to think I didn't trust her because if she saw my binder without me telling her then I though that it would break her heart. So I said that I think I'm transgender. And she accepted me. My whole family accepted me, my friends accepted me today. And after finally realising what I had said, that I think I'm transgender, my heart felt like it was dancing. I cried with earful joys for a bit and I felt so at peace with the world. However, my mum constantly makes slight remarks about men (which really frustrates me) and we were looking at some material that my mum bought to sew clothes with and she asked what material I liked, I said that I liked all the plain ones and a colourful one. One of the plain colours were hot pink and my sister and mum instantly said, "Isn't that a bit girly?" And my heart dropped. Men can like pink. But they didn't seem to realise this. So I replied with, "Men can like any colour the want to like. Just as I

can like the look of this pink for a hoodie." They instantly shut up and now I'm just grinning, thinking about the fact that I shut them up for even a second.

 

Anyway, story short, I'm 90% sure I'm transgender, can't wait for my binder's to come and can't wait to start the process of transitioning after I get some gender therapy! If anyone needs any help with support or with any queries they have (about themselves or myself) then please feel free to comment or talk to me in private and confront me about anything you're going through. I'm a pretty positive person and I have been told in the past that I would be an amazing therapist (because I'm apparently great with words) and will be here for anyone who needs it. You're all amazing, whether you're female, male, or non-binary.

[Faye1972]

Thanks for sharing.  
 

Hugs

 

Faye xxx

[Susan R]

3 hours ago, ThePineapple1 said:

So I said that I think I'm transgender. And she accepted me. My whole family accepted me, my friends accepted me today. And after finally realising what I had said, that I think I'm transgender, my heart felt like it was dancing. I cried with earful joys for a bit and I felt so at peace with the world.

Welcome to our forum, it’s a pleasure to meet you. This is great news. For many, this is the most difficult part of the journey. There will be ups and downs along the way but by reaching out like you’re doing you can avoid some of the mistakes or difficulties in your way.

 

3 hours ago, ThePineapple1 said:

mum instantly said, "Isn't that a bit girly?" And my heart dropped. Men can like pink. But they didn't seem to realise this. So I replied with, "Men can like any colour the want to like. Just as I can like the look of this pink for a hoodie." They instantly shut up and now I'm just grinning, thinking about the fact that I shut them up for even a second.

Mums will be mums. Maybe try not to get too defensive with your mum’s comments. In some ways, she was only confirming and acknowledging your newly found identity.  She may not have fully accepted your choice yet but on some small scale...she’s trying.  Even having the ability to have an open dialog about it is a blessing.  I wish I would’ve had that when I was younger. Just work to keep the lines of communication open.  She could very well end up being one of you biggest allies down the road.

 

I’m glad you’ve joined us and look forward to reading more about your progress as it comes.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

 

[Sally Stone]

Such a positive story.  I wish you all the best.

 

Hugs,

 

Sally