Coming out MtF in a 44 year marriage.

[Heather Shay]

i remember when i went through a divorce over 35 years ago and my wife at the time said she stopped loving me. I couldnt understand how that could be. I did talk,her into counselling with me and tried my hardest to stay together BUT i learned there is only one person you h!ve control over and how i controlled me was to go anorexic. i found a woman who loved me 10 years later and we have been married  almost 28 years. She has been with me through depession, panic attacks and gray market self medicatung hrt. i told her 2 weeks ago that all the different therapy,helped for a while but my dusphoria keeps roaring back. I also told her how much i love her and like most transgenderxpeople, i didnt ask for this and wouldnt be proxeeding if i could help it. She has not seen me enfemme but she is aware i start ifficial doxtor approved hrt possibly as soon as tomorrow. she says she is with me now but,ahe is not sure she could handle a full transition. all i can hope us her seeing how happy this decission is naking me but in the back of my mindxi also remember i have control of only one person. After anorexia it occurred to me that the second commandment says to love your neighbor as yourself. and i thoyght if you,cant love yourself then you cant give what you dont have  it was then that i started from the bottom and restored who u was and started treating myself better and now i xan love my neighbor as nyself. will our marriagexsurvive...one day at a time...for now it is going as well as can be expected but i am also aware as i move,forward we may not grow together and if we grow apartci still must see this through. 

i kbow that was a short story made wide too long butxu hope it was some help and foe you,to know this forum has been a life saver for me abd thatxyou have uncinditional love here from your sisters.

Mental Hug,

Heather Shay

[Mmindy]

13 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Lately every thing has been back to normal, like before I came out. I am transitioning ever so slowly. One day I will not be able to hide it anymore. I still hope that her love for me trumps her hatred for me. So, I totally know what you are going through. Hoping everything still works out for you both

Thank you Kymmie,

We seam to be in that back to normal situation right now. I'm not springing any new changes on Suzie, like you my transition will be ever so slow. My career depends on it right now, as well as my partnership in the small business I'm involved in. Once I can no longer hide the changes, or as someone inquires about it, I'll be open and honest with it. As stated earlier post, "I will let them into my new life". My older grandchildren should be old enough to understand as well as notice the changes. My younger grandchildren are being raised to understand the diversity of human nature.

 

Best wishes, stay positive, and safe,

 

Mindy???

[Mmindy]

13 hours ago, Shay said:

Mental Hug,

Heather Shay

Thank you Heather Shay,

 

I've tweeted for many years that Digital >HUGS< are still from the heart.

 

>HUGS<

 

Mindy???

[Heather Shay]

thank you... right back at you

Shay