Any advice for an enby ? <3

[Aquarian]

Hi! I’m a minor and live with 4 other family members. I’ve tried coming out before when I was 10 (as a lesbian), and 11 (as a transguy).

My mother told me both times that I was too young to know and didn’t want me to medically transition. I was wrong both times so some of that advice was for the best. 

I’ve been seriously thinking about my gender since then, and i’m definitely not cis.

I don’t know how to talk about it because my mother has a limited understanding of this community and when I correct her on the pronouns of others she goes “you’re so politically correct!!1!” and only partially corrects herself because she can’t be bothered to try to understand because it’s too hard.

She has a brain injury so I can forgive it to an extent, but i’m really scared of how she’ll react, let alone my other family members! 

 It’s so frustrating and I don’t want to have to constantly explain my gender identity to everyone I meet. I know this is a complex issue that has no real correct answer, but some guidance (especially from older trans folks) would be appreciated.

Lots of love.

[Heather Shay]

You have taken wonderful steps already and be proud of yourself. This site has many who have been where you've been and might be able to help give you guidance. At your age I am not sure what you can do except keep exploring on line for help and psychologytoday website might help locate therapists in your area or support groups. I don't know your financial status nor the legal aspects of young people in your country but your should beable to find guidance and support to explore your feelings and help you determine what you might consider as you move forward. The most important thing is you recognize you are not what other think you are and thefirst step to solving a problem is recognizing the problem.

Best Wishes and I hope this helped at least a little.

Heater Shay.

[Charlize]

I think many who have gender issues have gone through similar issues.  I know i did.  I must admit that when i had to explain it to others i had to look closely at my own experiences.  Over time i've come to believe gender has been almost a process during my life.  

When i was your age no one ever spoke of these issues.  The best part of that was that i could concentrate on my schooling and growth.  

Time will help you find a path.  I know my time here, posting and reading about others helped me find my path.

Enjoy!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

 

 

[Heather Shay]

Charlize always provides sage advise. you are in a good place to share and be accepted and from those who actually DO understand what you are going through and willing to listen and try to help the best we can.

Mental Hugs,

 

[KayC]

Hi Aquarian!  nice to meet you and Welcome!
Are you able to seek out counseling or therapy?  Since your mother already knows of your desires I would hope she would allow you to at least explore your feelings deeper. 
If that is not an option I hope there is someone else in your life that you trust and that you can confide in.

 

The good news is that your are already so self-aware at your age.

 

Deep breaths ... one step at a time❣️

[Aquarian]

31 minutes ago, KayC said:

Hi Aquarian!  nice to meet you and Welcome!
Are you able to seek out counseling or therapy?  Since your mother already knows of your desires I would hope she would allow you to at least explore your feelings deeper. 
If that is not an option I hope there is someone else in your life that you trust and that you can confide in.

 

The good news is that your are already so self-aware at your age.

 

Deep breaths ... one step at a time❣️

Yeah I am with a therapist. I’m nervous to bring it up with her, but she’s very supportive and I definitely should. thanks

[Robin.C]

Hi Aquarian, when you feel comfortable you should discuss it with your therapist.

You've made some great steps already and they will help understand yourself more.

Your parents and family will be as confused as you have been, hopefully you can bring them along on your journey wherever that takes you.

 

Hugs

[KayC]

15 hours ago, Aquarian said:

Yeah I am with a therapist.

That's great!  Yes, I am sure she will want to help you with your relationship with mother/family.  If she is not a gender specialist and you need something more in that area, then I am sure she can recommend somebody.

 

Happy you are taking positive action in your life.  That's most important❣️

[SaraAW]

Hi Aquarian, As a minor, I would suggest that if your coming out to your family would jeopardize your safety, maybe wait on that, until you have a decent plan and can ensure your safety. I know that may be tough, but your safety and ability to be supported is paramount. If you don't think it will, then as others have suggested, discuss this with your therapist. They can help you come up with a plan to tell your family.