Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

um. hello!


kalopsiavian

Recommended Posts

hi everyone!

my name is azrael (or ciel!), but i have a lot of other names i go by. i'm 18 and... kinda have no idea what i'm doing.

i'm not really sure of my gender honestly. i know that i hate being called a girl (or a woman, etc. i look like a baby), but that's about where it stops. i think it's brain funky for the most part, and i know i could search out things like microlabels, but i'm not sure if the confusion that's come with them before is worth it. (i've been questioning my gender for years, but the masculine part of it was only recently found.)

along with that i have a lot of fears surrounding transitioning, to the point where just talking about it gets me nervous- i'm not sure if they're societal, or due to change, or something else, but i hoped that coming and seeing others like me helps me. i have a friend group of a couple trans men (my loving boyfriend included) but i want to take at least some of the load off their shoulders.

i don't know this feels clunkyfjgsdhk. i haven't had any meaningful journey and it doesn't feel like worth finding but that's even more clunky. i'm sorry, i'm not good at talking about myself.

ANYWAY thank you for having me and i'm sorry for rambling on about nothing.

ciel ?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@kalopsiavian

Nice to meet you and welcome to our support forum.  Hey, we all have to start somewhere and it’s just good that your here. I think you can enjoy it and make good use of the resources. It so much better than doing nothing and hoping things get better on their own.

 

I cordoned off my alter ego for much of my life and it was detrimental to my well being. You’re still young and already looking for answers in the right places. We are a nice growing community of members like yourself. If you have anything you need help with or answers about, feel free to express it freely (within the community rule guidelines of course). Glad you’re aboard.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome to Transpulse ... He of Many Names ... ?

 

I hope you find what you seek here. I wouldn't worry about the labels though. They don't actually matter. You're you and that's all that's really important.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Hi ciel!  Nice to meet you and Welcome!   I am sure you will find other Members here who you can relate to. 

What you call "nervous" I often experience as anxiety.  Its very common with gender dysphoria and it can be difficult to keep it from impacting your life negatively.

I don't know if you have access to gender therapy or counseling, or maybe a transgender or LGBTQ+ support group in your area, but that may be beneficial to start there.

 

We're all here to listen, share, and support each other, so Welcome again❣️

Deep breaths ... one step at a time

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Azreal,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf ?

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Ciel,

 

Welcome.  It's perfectly okay to question your gender, and there's no rush to judgment required.  It took me 40 years to find my happy place, but that was in the era mostly before the internet and digital socializing.  I'm sure by asking questions and sharing your thoughts and feelings, you'll find your happy place in no time, just don't feel pressured to decide.  Discovering our true gender, or genders, is a journey to be enjoyed and savored.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 153 Guests (See full list)

    • tracy_j
    • AllieJ
    • VickySGV
    • Evelyn J
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.6k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,031
    • Most Online
      8,356

    jacobb
    Newest Member
    jacobb
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Adele Svetova
      Adele Svetova
      (25 years old)
    2. BROOKSGLASS
      BROOKSGLASS
      (34 years old)
    3. FinnyFinsterHH
      FinnyFinsterHH
      (16 years old)
    4. fool4luv
      fool4luv
      (26 years old)
    5. itsaddison
      itsaddison
      (20 years old)
  • Posts

    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.cnn.com/2024/04/27/politics/lgbtq-health-care-biden-administration-rules-affordable-care-act/index.html   Personally, I think this is a very good thing.   Carolyn Marie
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I'd love to have a dinner party with Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, Voltaire, and Ayn Rand.  Would definitely be an interesting time. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      In the forward I learn that transgenderism is bad, and somewhere else that transgender ideology is bad.  I have not yet read a definition of either in the document.  I assume they are the same.  I know Focus on a Family has a definition of transgenderism on their website, or did, but I am not sure this is the same as that.  I might agree that transgenderism is bad if they use a definition I condemn (e.g. transgenderism means you always pour ketchup in your shoes before you put them on - I could not agree to that).  Is someone who believes in transgenderism, whatever it is, a transgenderist? I never see that term.  There may be other definitions out there, but I don't think there is an Official Definition that we all agree to.
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Crazy fact, was gonna go to the school where this went down at before I moved, have a lot of friends there. I know at least one of my friends met the guy on one occasion, not knowing who it was.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      They are thinking of Loudon.  The problem there was the girls were not protected from a known predator, who was moved from one school to another instead being effectively disciplined.  Outlaw school administrators? <sarc>
    • Abigail Genevieve
      How ironic.  I agree with the governor "“You cannot change your gender; you cannot pick your gender…there is a confused group of people that somehow think you can,”    - we are what we are, we are fighting the fact we CANNOT change our gender, which we did not pick.  Many if not all of us would not have picked a trans condition and have sought to evade, deny or move out or resolve it anyway we can.  Those who are confused on this issue are not trans folk.  They want us to change our gender but they deny we can.  Confusion.  
    • Vidanjali
      @FinnyFinsterHH no one can satisfy your questions about what will the future hold. But I can advise you to slow your mind down as much as you're able. Take it slow and one moment at a time. This advice goes beyond the practical reality that that's truly all you can do - further, try to enjoy each moment. It's clear you have a lot of aspirations regarding transition. But it's best to try to accept the bounds of your life circumstances at present because if you develop worries or even resentments about them, that will only make you bitter and more anxious. Instead, try to focus on anything you find affirming. Practice positive self-talk and give yourself affirmations too. Try to let go of expectations of your family members - they can only deal with change to the capacity they're able due to their own life conditions. Allow them grace as you wish they would allow you. Practice patience.   Try this exercise - read through your post and make one list of the positive developments and another of things you cannot control (including the future). If you have a sense of spirituality, offer the second list as a sacrifice to however you understand a higher power - leave it in their hands. If you're not spiritual, then offer it up to hope. Then throw that list away. Keep the list of positives and leave some room on it because guaranteed you'll have more and more to add. Look forward to that, but don't let your mind think it can rush things. Try to enjoy the ride. 
    • Vidanjali
      Happy birthday, Sam! Lotsa love!
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I still have not read much of this.  Very little of this document pertains to trans folk.  Some of the statements are more than problematic concerning trans folk.   It certainly was not written just to get us.   " those with gender dysphoria should be expelled from military service."  and "Reverse policies that allow transgender individuals to serve in the military. Gender dysphoria is incompatible with the demands of military service,"  https://static.project2025.org/2025_MandateForLeadership_CHAPTER-04.pdf are two lines out of hundreds if not thousands regarding the Department of Defense, targeting trans folk in an almost off-hand manner.    So if a fighter pilot, say, or a ship's captain, highly experienced and trained at enormous expense, is determined to be transgender (method unknown) the US loses someone badly needed due to the personnel shortage who is ready, willing and able to perform their duties.  Many trans folk have served well and transitioned later.  I don't think this point is well thought out.    A number of policy recommendations I would disagree with.  I am not sure there is a method to discuss those with the authors; I am attempting to find out.  I have good conservative creds.    They are fully intending to implement this, regardless of who the president is, as long as that president is conservative. It is not Trump centered.  I don't think he had anything to do with it. 
    • April Marie
      I wear a Delimira Mastectomy sleep bra with Vollence sleep rated breast forms. The form fit inside pockets so they don't touch your skin. I bought the bras on Amazon and found the forms on eBay. They were much less expensive than buying through the other sources. 
    • Ashley0616
      I wore an olive corduroy coverall dress with a navy blue shirt underneath. 
    • Ashley0616
      @LittleSamCongratulations on one of the biggest decisions. Looking forward to your progress. 
    • Ivy
      I don't wear a bra to bed.  The girls aren't big enough to need it, but still enough to appreciate.  Just a flannel nightgown suits me fine.
    • Ashley0616
      You're welcome. I'm here quite often if you need me. 
    • Ashley0616

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...