Hi...

[Linda Lee]

...I am new here...duh, lol. I had my first appointment with a gender therapist last Monday; number two will be tomorrow. I signed up here mostly to ask for input from other girls that have "been there, done all that," because I am already struggling with a moral dilemma of sorts. He and I have already established I need to transition, but his go-to-HRT-gal is someone who...I have apprehensions about, for lack of a more sophisticated use of terminology. One part of me feels I should pretend that I don't know what she...also does, because as much as I disagree with it, I kinda sorta maybe-a-little-bit understand the need for it, I just don't know if I can...ugh...I wished the world wasn't so friggin' screwed up right now to the point I feel scared to even DARE talk about ABORTION! lmao ?

That's all it is. I dunno how I'd feel about transitioning into my authentic self with the direct assistance of a woman who kills unborn babies. It just makes me feel...I dunno...ugh. ?

I should totally friggin' get over myself, I'm being ridiculous, right? Help me out here. I feel like I'm evil no matter which route I choose. Major social anxiety. CONSTANTLY worried about offending people. Especially my therapist, in this case lol. Don't want to betray my own values though, right? But then I wonder if I should just suck it up so that nobody risks feeling uncomfortable. Maybe I'll actually be able to NOT think about unborn babies being sucked up a medical  tube like some kind of nightmare slushy every time I go to see her lmao. I could live with that, right? ....Right? ....RIGHT?! ?

Ugh.....I'm goin' to Hell lmao. ?

[Elizabeth Star]

Hi Linda,

Welcome to Trans-pluse. I have no real advise to offer you relating your situation. I do know I've had to make some moral sacrifices of my own to get where I am today, and I'm not the only one.

 

?Liz

[KayC]

Hi Linda Lee!  nice to meet you and Welcome!

 

There are many resources in this Forum and also so many Members who have gone through so many different obstacles to their transition.  So, I hope you can find some common connection from their stories and experiences that are helpful to you.

I believe everybody has a right to their own personal life choices and moral perspectives.  I would have to imagine that your therapist feels the same way because they have to deal with so many different people and problems that they can't really be judgemental.

So!  I would hope that if you just explained your sincere feelings and misgivings to your therapist, he would be able to find you another HRT clinic/doctor.  Good luck!

Deep breaths ... one step at a time

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Linda Lee,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

I am not really the one to ask about abortion, as I can not have a baby anyway. But I can give you my experience with it.

 

I used to be one who thought abortion a horrible thing morally. About 13 years ago, a married couple who were friends of mine were expecting their first baby. An ultrasound revealed that the fetus was developing improperly, into inseparable siamese twins. They were devastated.                                             

 

They told me along with a group of friends that they had decided to have an abortion. At that moment, I realised that the question of abortion was too big for me to answer for them. I was nobody to try telling them what to do.

 

Each circumstance is different. That question can only be answered on a case by case basis, and only by the two people directly involved, the mother and the father (or just the mother of she is single). These two were my friends, and I knew they were not evil people. I also realised that the medical staff who performed the operation were not evil killers, they were doctors and nurses.

 

I don't know if this will help or not.

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf ?

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Linda Lee.  My advice concerning your dilemma is to simply find someone else qualified to assist with your HRT.  Most any endocrinologist can do it, if they're willing, and many family doctors and internists as well.  You should have many choices.

 

Please look around the forums and post your questions and comments wherever.  We'll be here to help.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[Susan R]

Hello @Linda Lee, Welcome to our little forum. Whatever you decide to do, it shouldn’t involve compromising your values but if abortion is an issue for you, as @Carolyn Marie mentioned, there are several qualified physicians and endos that also offer informed consent as a convenient bridge to HRT. It will take some research and it may not be as convenient but in the end it may be worth the effort.  It’s hard enough getting to the point of starting transition let alone trying to tackle one of life’s most polarizing issues...at least in today’s world. I hope you don’t let this non-related issue stop you from becoming who you were meant to be. Best of luck and thank you for sharing.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

[Alexxiss]

Welcome Linda Lee! I'm also brand new to the site. I primarily joined for fellowship with trans women and hopefully to impart some good on my fellow ladies and other trans-identifying people. If you decide to find a new doctor, do it today and request a copy of your medical records from old doc a.s.a.p., so you can get the ball rolling with new doc right away.

On one hand you risk setting back your transition, if you can't find another doctor to start your transition in sufficient time; and on the other hand you risk fostering a long term uncomfortable relationship between you and your doctor.

There's no need to tell Doc how you feel if you're going to leave anyway, but you might want to ask them about their practice to gain more insight before you make a decision. You can definitely figure this one out! You're not going to hurt anyone's feelings! Just analyze and make the best decision for yourself. I strongly suspect your anxiety will lessen as you begin your Hormone Replacement Therapy. Since you mentioned possibly trying to ignore the thought of what happens to those babies, maybe try adding the thought that many younger women can't afford to care for a new child, maybe the child is seriously illegitimate, or maybe the mother knows she's unfit to guide a new life at this time. You can do this Linda Lee! 

Of course, I offer all this to you with all due respect to your viewpoint on abortion. 

[Lexi C]

Hey Linda 

Welcome aboard

Not sure what's going with you HRT doc, But if you feel uncomfortable there a a ton of HRT in a place like NY i would assume. Maybe, look for someone you cool with

Be safe, BE Proud and KICK ASS