Coming out on stage

[Maddee]

In 2015 I came out to a chosen dozen people. This drummer, who always billed us as brothers, didn't believe me but said he supported me. We landed this weird backup band gig with a community theater doing American Idiot. I figured if theatre people can't take a joke, who can? The band (all tall guys) decided on a uniform look, and I told them I was exempt from the dress code!

So against my wishes, they put my birth name in the news, media, and playbills. I sashayed on anyway. These shows outed me more than I planned at that point. My brother has not spoken to me much since, and some day I'm gonna show up at one of his gigs and blow his mind.

This was June 2016
I'm wearing 6" heels that a girl from a trans group gave me.

[Carolyn Marie]

That's definitely a unique way to come out, Maddie.  That took courage, so my bonnet is off to you.  It also took courage (more than I ever had) to wear those shoes!  Thanks for sharing.

 

Carolyn Marie

[Cyndee]

That looks like a great time, how fun Maddie

 

C

[Lexi C]

Hey MM

That's so awesome..!! love the shoes. 

Your KICK ASS lv that

[Heather Shay]

I am proud of how brave you were to do it AND you look so good ...

[KayC]

That's awesome, Maddie!  You ROCK❣️? (both literally and figuratively ?)

[Jani]

Maddie what a cool story!  You are so good!  Thanks for sharing.  

[Mmindy]

@Ms Maddie You Rock Girl!

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy???

[Maddee]

Thank you my lovely forum lady friends

 

Heels aren't usually  my thing.  But these were such a nice glitzy gift from my old friend the shoe collector...had to wear them for something special!!  I since passed the pair along.

Several female cast members complimented how well I got around on them  for two weeks in the dark, crowded halls, stairs and stage. 

 

For this production I played bass guitar, and also synth cello parts using an electroharmonix microsynth

 

[Bobbie Scott]

I love your spirit and fire. 

[Heather Shay]

She is quite the spitfire isn't she.

[Maddee]

Things have moved on.  Since 2016 I would present femme for certain side gigs.   It's tricky.   When I need a little extra I have a tendency to sing like I have giant balls.  Curbing that now.  Might cause leaks...

 

I usually perform places that are opportunity, but might not be considered accepting.   But that's exactly what I need if I'm going to play out this hand as a girl.  If I can make it out there, there'll be plenty of time to play for audiences who are indifferent or conditioned to embrace the rainbow.   I need to be honed in a different fire than theatre gigs and hip collegy protest venues.    I started out teens/20s with little bows in my long curly hair playing rough bars, and for mc clubs .  I wore super tight pants and silk shirts and hung around outlaw girlfriends.  A sissy joke.  Once I was surrounded alone and they dropped a festival tent on me after a long day.   Didn't do much about it  that day.  Guys in bars would play with me or even try to intimidate me, this brought out very masculine traits in me, and in the end subdued my expression for a long time. 

 

I stopped doing my main gig last year.  I was doing a solo Johnny Cash trip on gtr and voc.  Busy.  Since performing that was my business, I didn't fully transition in the workplace.  Yet.   Just acting like someone believeable in that Johnny role had an effect on other people.   This made me miserable because it wasn't who I needed people to see me as.   Disconnection, like I think most of us here feel about our life acting out our gender assigned at birth.   I was not embraced and encouraged to be myself by family, friends, or colleagues.  And I haven't always been the most embracing and encouraging person either!

 

I like Johnny Cash fine but never fanatic.  It was just bookable.  Over 2000 shows of just that act.  And now I can't remember those songs. Changes!

 

I played some songs at a park memorial 2 wks ago, and again yesterday I did a set on a patio at a lake bar for a graduation.  Mix of cover material, both male and female artists.  People are seeing me different and the doors will be open.   Physical changes from lifestyle and HRT are helping.  So are flat shoes.  Sweat is not helping. 

 

People out there who aren't trans supporters do and will come around to me.  If me and my friends stop outing myself, alot of folks won't even notice in the first place.

  

I see rough and wonderful times ahead.  Lord light my way I will go.  Angel sentinels ride with me.

[Heather Shay]

Angel sentinels are riding with you. I love your determination and acceptance of the work you have to go through to educate people and win them over and I am envious of your ability to perform frequently and that certainly molds you as a performer and should bring internal joy. I wish I had your drive girl. You are doing well and you should be emencely proud of yourself and if you aren't you should be.

 

[Jani]

12 hours ago, Ms Maddie said:

I see rough and wonderful times ahead.  Lord light my way I will go.  Angel sentinels ride with me.

There are always rough times but its how we respond to them that makes or breaks us.  You're doing well and will continue to do so.  Your Angels are with you always.

 

Hugs, Jani 

[Bobbie Scott]

God bless you and I'll keep you in my prayers.